IT SHOULD NOT HURT TO BE A CHILD

They say it should not hurt to be a child, so more and more in today's society we adults take that as a literal statement. We all too often go out of our way to 'protect' our children, when in fact for the child, it may be a perfect time for a learning experience.

No one wants to see a child hurt or crying, but how will that child live as an adult if someone always steps up to the plate as a rescuer?

A statement that parents often forgets is, "A child lives what he learns."

If a child lies, cheats, steals, hurts another, misbehaves or just plain locks horns and says, "No!", guess what ... they are just being human.

All of us on the planet are born with free will and the sense of I - Me - Mine.

If that child learns they can scream Me! Me! Me! or I Want! I Want! I Want! and Mom and Dad give in for their own personal sanity ... you can pretty much take it to the bank that their child will grow up to be a loud, demanding adult who expects from everyone what they want, when they want it.

We all know demanding, selfish people. Think of the most obnoxious person you know. It is a sure fire bet that that person was not put in check as a child.

No one can stand to be around someone like that, so there is a real chance that person will grow to be a bitter, lonely old man or woman, blaming their miserable existence on everyone and everything around them.

The choice is simple. Teach your child now, that actions DO have consequences.

As a parent, you are NOT their friend. That right is earned once your child is grown. Until then, you are the parent, teacher, care giver, councilor, and loving mother or father.

You need to love your child enough to let them experience the results of accepting their own actions in a loving, safe environment.

With your guidance, they can step into the world as an adult, with self-confidence and compassion for others.

I was a single mother of 3 sons who were out of control. I had a reality check when a friend from church said, "You are not just taking care of a bunch of kids. You are raising potential adults."

Once I pulled in the reigns and took control, all of our lives became so very much better!

Was it hard? Oh yeah! Change is not always pleasant. Sometimes I had to love them enough to let they hate me for awhile. Sometimes, as they got older, if a situation got out of control and was more than I could handle, I'd call in the 'Big Guns', be it the school principal or the police!

It was made crystal clear that he was a good person who made a bad choice. The infractor usually did not repeat the offense.

How rewarding it is now to have 3 very strong, self-assured men in my life.

One day as we were talking, my youngest son thanked me.

He was my 'Wild Child" and I told him I was sorry that I had all too often had to come down so hard and heavy on him.

He sheepishly grinned and said, "Mom ...if you only knew ... Some times you did not come down hard enough."

(Some things are best left unknown.)

Written by Jackie Rae

Copyrighted © 2010