- Family and Parenting
I'm An Old School Mom
And proud of it!
I'm a 40-something mother of five. Yup, that's right...five kids. While I now only have one child at home, a soon-to-be-teen, I can't help to think about my parenting style.
In the last 27 years, since I gave birth to my first child, times have changed dramatically. There is a 15-year gap (minus one day) between my oldest and youngest. I tend to be what is now referred to as "old-school".
Is that necessarily a bad thing? Not to me. I know times change and with those changes, people sometimes change their views. I firmly believe we, as a people, cannot grow, if we cannot change.
On that note, I will continue to be an "old-school" mom. My daughter is 12-years old now and is definitely into the pushing boundaries portion of our mother/daughter relationship. I hold fast that appropriate clothing is worn. Nothing see-through, extremely tight fitting, bra not showing, etc. When we occasionally visit the mall or some other public areas, I am somewhat dismayed at what passes for clothing and also that other parents find it acceptable to see their children dressed as if they are ready to work the streets or have so many holes in their clothes that the homeless would pass them up.
My daughter also isn't allowed to wear makeup until she's 15. WOW! Can you believe it. I won't have her painting her face, trying to age herself, and let others think she is older than she is. If it was good enough for me; it's good enough for her.
My biggest "old-school" mom characteristic is the level of respect I expect from my youngest. My older children are all adults and can make their own decisions on their clothing, make-up and mannerisms. While the youngest is still at home, respect is first and foremost. I am dismayed at this younger generation. It's not just the kids, it's the younger parents too.
I am not intending to come off judgmental, however, seeing the rude, back-talking, sulking, screaming displays by children these days would be enough to tie my tubes and never think of ever having kids (if I was still in my 20s). Boundaries people. It's about boundaries. I'm all for negotiating a point. However, when it comes down to it...YOU are in charge; not the child(ren). You would think "no" is a dirty word to some kids. It's actually time they started to hear it more and time for some parents to start using it.
Manners like, "please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, yes ma'am, no sir" are not terms that should be forgotten. Yet, "I want, give it to me, buy it for me" seem to have replaced them. Temper tantrums in stores because boundaries aren't already in place are far too common.
I used to tell my children, "we are going into this store and you're not to ask for anything." Set the boundaries. If they can't behave, then leave! It will only take one or two times of doing this and they will get the picture.
I am not telling anyone how to parent. However, I will leave you with this. You're the parent, not the BFF (Best Friend Forever). Children need and respect boundaries. What you fail to teach them when they are young, society will pick up your slack when they are adults and it won't be pretty.
© 2018 Lynn K Scott