Your Life starts today

Life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing. ~ Helen Keller

Ever woke up and realized you needed a drastic change in your life?

Have you spent years doing this or that, and suddenly those things no longer hold the importance they once held?

Ever been completely awake and realized one day, in a split second that you have never really been awake?

The complexity of the thoughts only makes more questions. But, if we spend all the time questioning and not doing, will we accomplish anything?

I love to publish hubs about education, science and influential people or events. It seems odd that I never stopped to think that maybe I need to focus more on the world around me. My world; the one directly in front of my eyes. The world away from the constant distraction of the net and this small world is the one I should learn more about.

This moment of deep reflection brought me too many thoughts. The greatest of these was the realization that I needed a drastic change in my life. Normally, I am not one for sharing my innermost thoughts, even with my friends. I am one to keep myself guarded most of the time. Recently, however, I have realized that I cannot change my life for the better if I keep going the way that I am. It is just that logical.

Albert Einstein said it best: “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

This hub has been created for several reasons. It will help me step out of my comfort zone and share myself with the world. Maybe I will hear things I don’t want to hear, or I will hear things I need to hear. The point is that I am changing. I am growing. All flowers come from dirt, and I can only rise higher. I will become the person I want to be.

H.G. Wells said it best: “Sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you want to be. The person you are.”

If you’re going through hell, keep going – Winston Churchill

Some days it is hard to get out of bed. Your entire life revolves around pleasing others. You wake up and feed the bills, or pay the mouths. There is an endless stream of bills and mouths; neither is ever happy. Every moment is spent trying to get ahead, but it always seems like you’re stuck in a treadmill. It feels like we are all zombies, always searching for the next brain, but it is never enough. Precious little moments of affection and promotion seem to be the only glimmer of hope. But, unfortunately, they are fleeting. So, there is always the search for the latest and greatest “high”. We try to find it in others, but they are a reflection of our ideas. We try to find it in things, but they are empty. What we need to realize, or what I should say is – what I need to realize - is happiness is here now. It isn't hiding. It isn't a secret. It is right under my nose. I just need to let myself feel it. I just need to let myself free to feel it.

Even now, as I open my heart and expose myself, I feel afraid. I feel judged. But, as I think about it, I realize that bad comes with the good. I have to learn to accept good and bad. So, here it goes. Here is the real me.

Don't just marry someone you can live with - marry someone you can't live without - Dr. Seuss

I am Doreen. I am a mother. I am a lover. I love to write. Without writing I don’t think I would be a human anymore. I write constantly about everything. Almost every hour of every day of my life has had some attachment to writing. I text, type and talk about writing. So, it is not surprising that a huge chunk of my life has been entered to paper or in words of some sort.

Recently, as I read what I have written, I have been learning about myself. I am starting to understand things on a different level then I ever have before. I am currently 30 years old and it has really taken me that long to realize that self-esteem – or lack thereof – has created a lot of interesting situations. Situations that should have probably been avoided had I believed in myself if even a little bit.

A story comes to mind. I live just outside of downtown Minneapolis, Minnesota. Yards are pretty non-existent. We are pretty much planted almost on top of each other. So, relationships with neighbors are kind of important. I had a neighbor a few years back that I used to think was a jerk. He never went out of his way to be rude or mean in any way. However, when I would say “HI” or try to be friendly, he would immediately snub anything I said and walk away. He did this for years; never once responding to anything that was said. I just assumed he was a jerk. Fast forward to a year or so later. My closer neighbor was having a loud party at his house, and so was this neighbor. I went out to smoke, and one thing led to another. We wound up talking. This neighbor was drinking, so he was probably more comfortable. Regardless, he opened up, and I learned he wasn’t a jerk at all; he just had super low self-esteem. That experience truly changed the way I think. It made me realize that the lack of belief in one’s self causes bad decisions, and negative results.

Forward again to my life and I see a picture painted by low self-esteem. There are so many opportunities missed or wasted. I couldn’t make the right decision. I was too afraid. I was too blinded by what I thought I couldn’t do, so I couldn’t see what I could do. Every person I met would say I was kind and strong. They would say this because I would give and give and give without expecting anything in return.

This way of living turns out very badly in romantic relationships I realize. I would give, and then years later I would start to really want a return. When that didn’t happen I would just be sad. I still wouldn’t leave. I would stay and pay all the bills, do all the cleaning, and tend to everything that needed tending. Then, one day I would finally get a clear head. I would break up with said boyfriend and begin a new journey. The boyfriend appeared to be clueless of what was going on. I am still friends with the few I have dated, and I believe they have taught me a lot. The greatest lesson is: I cannot afford to live that way anymore. I need to find myself and make my needs heard. I need to value myself enough to know that I have qualities worth attracting people.

The moral of the story is to remember that we are all valuable, lovable and important. We are worth loving, we should know we are valuable enough to keep, and important enough to make someone want us around. We shouldn’t have to compromise with happiness. We don’t need to give to earn love, we deserve it. Being in a relationship should make you better. It will also do us all good to remember that true happiness comes from within, not from someone else.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. ~ Henry Ford

I rarely have use for my past. I realized a while ago that it does me no good. How can I move forward while facing backwards? It always seemed like a useless part of me. I realized that it made me who I am, but I saw no good in rehashing it.

However, as I look back into old writings and journal entries, I start to see patterns. These patterns are ones I seem to like to repeat because I didn’t learn my lesson the first time. It is almost as if I couldn’t be honest with myself. I couldn’t admit that my past was affecting my current situation. My head is always so far in the future – on what I want to be – that I couldn’t see it. It seemed much too hard to focus on now because now is not yet what I want it to be. Now is exactly what I need to focus on now. So, I will open with the most honest statements I can muster.

I have a hard time paying attention because I feel that if for even a moment I don’t try to absorb everything that I am missing out. That, there is some deeper hidden meaning in everything and if I am not feeling something deep, then I should move on. This does not help in conversations, school studies, and anything else that requires long term concentration. My nicknames include A.D.D. Doreen and other such jovial names. I would laugh, but I am too busy trying to find meaning in – ooh, sparkly. I don’t quite see this as a negative aspect of my personality. It has helped me attain the amassed education, certifications, and life lessons I have. However, it is also the key to me carrying the weight of the world, and feeling like I am always behind.

I know the saying is - If you shoot for the moon and miss, at least you are in the stars – or something similar. But, what if we spend all of our time “shooting” and no real time “being in the stars”? True story: when I graduated from college I was frustrated with myself because I wasn’t immediately on my way to completing another degree/certification/significant life lesson. At the time I was working a full time job, I just had a baby, I was tending an entire house, I just finished my degree and I felt like I was failing because I did not reveal the higgs boson. I may be wrong, but I think in the bible, even God rested on the seventh day.

The moral of this section slowly becomes clear. Enjoy! Be grateful! Don’t feel guilty to be proud of yourself. Don’t feel bad about taking time to enjoy the moment. William Feather said – “no man is a failure who enjoyed his life”. Take that time and be happy.

The life lessons I am slowly learning sound good, but I hope that I can apply them. Every day I am growing, learning, loving and sometimes groaning. My wish to you as well as myself is that we find the inspiration to complete our dreams. I wish that we all get the persistence to push through obstacles in the way of our dreams. And, that at the end of the day, we all rest comfortably before we drift off into dreamland.

In closing I would like to share some of the better quotes I found that had no place in my previous sections.

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing– that’s why we recommend it daily ~ Zig Ziglar

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve. ~ Napoleon Hill

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

Don't listen to what anybody says except the people who encourage you. If it's what you want to do and it's within yourself, then keep going and try to do it for the rest of your life. - Jake Gyllenhaal

It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein

I was a baseball player, I taught baseball, and all of a sudden I was in the business world. Now I used the baseball world to talk about their product. Not too much, just enough to keep going. Just be yourself and you'll never have a problem. That's what I did. - Willie Mays

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fall seven times, stand up eight. - Japanese Proverb

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance.” ~ H. Jackson Brown

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race” ~ Calvin Coolidge