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How to Get Married

Updated on November 4, 2017
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Nicole has a degree in psychology and is a mom to four sons. She has four cats, three of whom were once feral kittens found in her backyard.

This book really helped me think about dating differently
This book really helped me think about dating differently | Source

Expand Your Social Circle

Are you stuck in a rut in your social life? Not meeting many people (and especially not eligible bachelor-types)? Why not expand your social circle? This may include

  • Joining a young adult / college / career group at church
  • Getting a gym membership
  • Join a dating website (even if you feel embarrassed or it is not something you'd usually do)
  • Hanging out with mutual friends whom you don't normally associate with,

and so on.

Meeting new people will at least ensure that you're not just running around with the same crowd, remaining dateless every Friday night. Getting introduced to a friend of a friend is a great way to meet a potential mate, and church is also a great place to meet someone. The important thing is that you're mingling with people who have the same values and life goals, and gaining opportunities to get to know new people.

I met my husband at church. A friend met her husband through an online dating website. Another friend met her husband at her best friend's wedding. You never know when/how it's going to happen!

Give everyone a fighting chance (you may be surprised!)
Give everyone a fighting chance (you may be surprised!) | Source

Don't Write Men Off Right Away

You know that guy who asked you out, who you were not really into? Did you write him off too fast? Have the mindset that no matter who the person is, if their values match yours and they seem like a nice person, then give them a chance.

So he doesn't have rock solid abs and a degree from Harvard? Maybe not, but he might be a really nice guy, and even if he looks like a toad... You never know, he may be your Prince Charming!

I'm not advising anyone to settle here... Just saying that you should give everyone a chance before rejecting them outright.


Pray about It (Then Pray Some More)

My cousin said the best advice she had for getting married was to get on your knees and pray! She married her husband at the age of 40 (first marriage for them both). She had a strong desire to get married, but had not met anyone yet. However, she turned it over to the Lord and prayed for His will. In His timing, she met and married her husband and they're now happily married. I prayed the same prayer, that God would allow me to meet a godly man and get married, and have a family someday. I was reading the book "How to Find a Date Worth Keeping" by Dr. Henry Cloud, mentioned above. I decided to expand my social circle. I joined a few online dating sites and went on some dates with different guys. However, I never found "the one" that way. I did have some very interesting dating experiences, though! Then one Sunday, I decided to go to the 9:00 am service at my church, instead of the 11:00 am service. This might not seem like a big deal, but it was for me, because I rarely varied from my routine. I went to a different service intentionally, so I could meet new people. That day I met my future husband (though I wouldn't know it for a while!) I thank God for giving me the urgency to go to the earlier service and expand my social horizons, despite being a relatively introverted person!

Ingredients for a Love Relationship

  • A bunch of good, fun dates
  • 1+ year Getting to Know Each Other
  • A lot of Love <3
  • Lots of Friendship
  • Sprinkled with Attraction and Chemistry
  • Putting God First Always!

Recommended Resources

Here's a few more books I recommend on the subject:

  • "Get Married" by Candice Watters
  • "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk" by John Van Epp
  • "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas
  • "The Meaning of Marriage" by Timothy Keller
  • "How to Get a Date Worth Keeping" by Dr. Henry Cloud


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