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- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Know What Bad Parenting Is
There is a saying that goes like this - "Anyone can have a child and call themselves 'a parent.' A real parent is someone who puts that child above their own selfish needs and wants." Many people who think they are real parents assume that they are infallible. If you are a parent and if you are not acting in a manner that may help your children grow into happy and successful adults, you are committing a grave mistake. This is called 'bad parenting.'
Your intention may be good but you may be losing sight of your goal quite often, perhaps, due to other responsibilities. But you should somehow find time for learning the ways to be an effective parent. If you do not do so, it reveals that you do not care much about translating your goal into reality.
When your mistakes disrupt your parenting goal, it is the physical as well as mental growth of your children that is getting hurt. But it is possible to bring about a change in your behaviors so you can rest assured that you will be able to achieve the goal of ensuring that your children grow into responsible adults. Let us now look at some of the bad parenting ways.
* Bid a permanent "Good-Bye" to yelling. There may be occasions when you may lose your cool and shout. But if you always yell and scream for disciplining your children, it is nothing but bad parenting.
* If you do not involve yourself in the life of your children, it is also bad parenting. Instead of constantly watching how your children behave, try to know their interests and involve yourself in helping them develop their skills in those interests. You can help them find suitable opportunities for developing those skills also. This will not only boost their confidence but will strengthen their relationship with you.
* A number of parents think that they should be good friends for their children. Experts emphatically opine that this is bad parenting. Children will develop friendship with their peer-groups and so, you cannot be their friend. Your responsibility is to parent them appropriately which means you must have a friendly, loving, kind, and fair attitude towards them. You should be firm with them also. Remember that the role of a friend is limited but you have much more responsibility than that of a friend. So, do not try to be a friend to your children. Learn to be a good parent.
* You may face pressure or work-related tension but never forget the fact that children are children. They have their own outlook and problems. You cannot compare your problems with those they may have. Similarly, it is wrong to think that their problems are nothing when compared to those you face. Therefore, instead of downgrading their problems, guide them to overcome them.
* If you do not allow your children to make their own choices, you are committing a mistake. You may think that if you allow them, they may make wrong choices. But by not allowing them, you are not allowing them to grow because they are deprived of the chances to learn from their mistakes. If they commit mistakes and learn from them, they are actually learning how they should handle mistakes and the resultant situations.
* Nothing can be a worse mistake than allowing your children to indulge in destructive or dangerous habits. It is true that children may commit mistakes. In the present-day context, threats pertaining to drugs, alcohol, poor grades in school, sexual behaviors, etc. loom large. If your children unfortunately develop any of these habits, it will spoil their future. Of course, you must allow privacy to your children but at the same time, you should keep monitoring them so you can guide them appropriately and on time. Allowing your children to do whatever they want is certainly bad parenting.