Ladies' Night Therapy for the Soul

One day you look in the mirror and you wonder where the time has gone. Long ago were the days of bar hopping with only the care of what the night will bring. Now you have several children, a career, a life and feel like you will lose your mind at the next tattle you hear or the next yell from your children. So what, as a woman, do you do to relieve that tension? Some shop, some join clubs, some even do crafts. But there are a few who have a close group of friends you can spend your evenings with on occasion to relax, talk, watch a movie that is anything other than 'G' rated and have that ever so elusive drink of choice.

Those nights of crazy fun don't end when you have a family they just morph into something else. Something that you can feel great doing but still get up the next day with nothing but the elated memory of the night before and the kids are none the wiser other than your tension level is lower and those screeches and the pounding don't seem to bother you as much.

Having an occasional drink may be exactly what you need to calm down after a long day at work and then coming home to clean and handle three kids and a dog that just won't stop. That only works for so long before you truly need to vent it all off on your clique of girls you trust. Life has a way of digging at you and pulling you down and everyone has some sort of outlet but the best therapy, at least for a woman, is have a night of talking, giggling and movies. If the drink you love happens to fall in there all the better.

Just because you have a night of fun does not mean you need to go crazy either. It is completely possible to have fun and not drink heavily or at all. It is all about calming the nerves and taking confidence in our friends. We all need to vent from time to time, It is all we can do to keep our sanity some days. We choose our friends for a reason and our friends can be the ultimate food for our soul.

Nobody wants to sit and listen to someone tell them how to have fun. That is not the premise for this page. The purpose is to give those who are at their wits end and have no clue what they can do to just "take a night off". We all know there is no official night off from being a parent but there are nights where the husband takes the kids or you drop them at a sitter for the night or to your parents to have even just one night where your only worry is when the guests will arrive. For those who do not have that option it is okay, your little kiddos probably sleep through most of the night so after they are in bed you are free for the next few hours to relax and enjoy the time.

Okay, so you are now asking how do I even get something like this started? I'll tell you, most if not all of us have some sort of social media. You create an event, you pick a day at least a month out to give people time to look at their calendars and/ or see the invite and respond. You make sure it has a neat little picture and you clearly state what the night is about. Then you invite 5-10 people that you feel closest to. Then you wait.

While you wait you keep an eye on the event and post things in there from time to time to keep it in the back of their mind so they don't forget all the while planning the party. Making sure you have snacks, possibly a meal, drinks and a movie or some sort of music to play in the background. Will you play games, do crafts, or just shoot the breeze with your buds. All of this get decided prior to the party.

Then the day of the party you set up, get ready and go! You are ready for some adult fun that is just what you need to keep things right. The reason for the several guests is in the event there is a lull or quiet moment it is more likely that a conversation will be struck the more people there are. Laugh, be silly and just out right enjoy the time. Don't worry about how limited it is, don't worry about anything other than your pals and how you feel right then and there.

I am only one person speaking from my own experience so lets take a deeper look into why ladies night is so good for you. Making friends is difficult and keeping them seems to be even more so. Good friends are there to help you through a rough time, celebrate the good ones and prevent loneliness as well as offer companionship you may need.

Along with all of that friends can also:

• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
• Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
• Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise (Mayo Clinic, 2016)

Friendship is difficult to maintain and it takes work. You may forget to make time for your friends and put them on the back burner to things such as children, work or other things. It important to make time for your friends even if it is once a month. If you are feeling bad because you don't have very many friends, and i mean like one or two, don't worry. Just remember that quality outweighs quantity by a landslide.

You may ask, "how do I meet new people?" well that answer is simple, attend community events, volunteer, accept invitations for things like getting a coffee or lunch, or even take up a new interest(Mayo Clinic, 2016). Keeping the friends is difficult as well and to make sure they and you want to continue to be friends it is important to be confident in yourself, don't try to compete or compare yourself to them, listen, be positive and respect boundaries. Many friendships die because of the lack of respect for one another.

Every few month my gal pals and I make a night of girl time. That usually consists of us talking each other's ears off and drinking our favorite wines all night long but it is so relaxing and revitalizing to be able to do that. I too have a busy life just like everyone else but it is so important to keep your friends close and make time for them. We would do it more often but all the schedules are so difficult to coordinate so we make sure it is at least a month in advance to accommodate. we only do about two a year not including group parties. It is really helpful to have those nights.

Ladies night even as little as once a year is much needed for all of us. Our days as teenagers and young adults are not over but different. Just because you have a life and a family does not mean that you and your friends take a back seat to it all. Make sure to make time and enjoy what you can when you can. There is always time for a few hours with your friends.

Friendships: Enrich your life and improve your health. (2014, February 05). Retrieved August 8, 2016, from http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860?pg=1