Lead By Example, Someone is Learning from You

As a mom of a 4 year old and a 2 year old, I have learned from personal experience, that we may think they are not listening, but we think wrong. They listen, and they watch everything you do, specially when it is a situation not associated with them.

In this day and age, there are thousands of books teaching parents on how to be parents, or how to raise your children right. Trust me, the thought of wishing children came with instruction manuals is a dreamed shared by many of us, but the reality is, that they don't, therefor we embark this beautiful adventure of parenting, learning as we go.

Today I was watching my 4 year old Daphney calming her 2 year old brother down, because Jaime barely napped and was throwing one of his terrible two's tantrums. As I watched her, I saw her rubbing his back, tucking him in, and suddenly she began singing the song I have sung to them since the day they were born. I had a moment of feeling peace and serenity as I watched his tantrum melting away, as she calmly sang him to sleep. She felt accomplished, and at that moment so did I.

As parents we want the best for our kids, and we do everything in our power to provide them with a magical childhood, to kiss every boo boo, to mend every tear, and to fight all the monsters underneath the bed. Kids are very attentive, If you sit back and observe a 4 year old in a room full of grown ups, you will see their little eyes studying every person, watching how they move their hands, how they sit, how the talk to each other. If someone raises their voice, their attention goes straight to that person, and you can see their face change into that of an uncertain face. If they see someone crying, they worry about why that person is sad, and if they see someone being mean, they become uncomfortable and bury themselves in their parents lap.

What we don't realize is that at this moment, they are soaking up information, on how to be. They act on what they see, they repeat what they hear. As a parent, you are not only playing the role of mom or dad, but also the teacher, among hundred of other things.

All of us have a moment where we may get upset, sad, frustrated, or annoyed in front of our children. We may get an upsetting phone call, or annoyed with someone, or make a comment while driving. We may not think much of this at the moment, but remember someone is always watching, listening and taking it all in.

It is a trick hard to master, and if I were to tell you I am an expert at this, then I would be lying. There was a time I received a very annoying call from a telemarketer who kept calling over and over again, and I have the tendency to roll my eyes. I was not thinking at the moment, that she may be looking at me, because I was so involved in trying to get this person off the phone and to avoid any further phone calls, No I am not interested in buying Time share, no I do not want to go on this trip and pay only 200 dollars.

Suddenly, when I get off the phone, I realize that she is standing right there, holding her book, but looking at me, and she asks "Mommy, who was that on the phone? why did you keep rolling your eyes?" And that's all she needs. A few moments later I see her on her toy phone with one hand on her hip and rolling her eyes, mocking everything I was doing. That was my wake up call. What was I to do? Tell her not to roll her eyes? So instead I watched her, and when she was done with her pretend phone call, I sat with her and I asked her. She told me she was frustrated at the call, and that made her roll her eyes. At that moment I had a talk with her, telling her sometimes we get frustrated and that is ok, we just need to find ways of letting it go. I explained about the eye rolling, and thankfully I haven't seen her doing it again, only because I make sure I don't do it.

I am not saying that as parents we have to walk through eggshells with them, but we have to watch on how we act. Not to get lost in the moment. We lead by example, and they are our seed for the future. I want to make sure I bring them the best life, and one of the most important things we can do for them is be the guidance that they seek, and the example they learn from.