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Lessons From Motherhood

Updated on July 8, 2020
Nela13 profile image

I am a mother of two, a prince and a princess, and it has been an amazing experience.

Priorities change

Motherhood has been an incredible experience, with ups and downs to manage an immense love that surpasses us. Some days it's wonderful, some days it's so scary that it paralyzes us.
Nothing prepares us for our children but the trend is to improve and learn a lot.

Priorities change, which is not bad, because, more than ever, it is clear what our priority is, our children. But if on a Saturday night it was synonymous with party all night long, now, when they stay with the grandparents the priority is to sleep and with a second child, the priority becomes having quality time for us, as a couple.

Source

“A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years, and in your heart until the day you die.”

Mary Mason

Every day I want to be better

There was never anything - a job, a hobby, or other people - that inspired and motivated me as much as my children to try every day to get closer to the best version of myself. In fact, there was never anything that changed my life so much and that challenged me so much to question myself and learn about myself, every day.

Don't make comparisons

As with everything, having expectations and comparing with the neighbor's chicken does not help at all. It is difficult (especially with this culture of putting everything out on instagram or Facebook), but it is really necessary. For our sanity, and theirs.

We often compare our children directly with other cases, based on our experience and our expectations. A mother can say "my son has been sleeping all night since he was 3 months old". That said, it can be interpreted in different ways. For me, sleeping all night is from 8 pm to 8 am, but for someone else, it can be sleeping 5 hours straight (as, in fact, it is considered in the literature on the subject). All about expectations.

Every kid is a kid, and ours are unique!

Source

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."

Osho

Everything passes

But the days are long and, at times, hard to pass. Those first few weeks sometimes seem like months. On sleepless nights, in inconsolable and unexplained crying, in the frustration of accumulated tiredness and not knowing what to do. I don't love the newborn stage. For me, I was doing a fast forward for the three months, knowing that afterward there is always some nostalgia for those days when they sleep a lot when they are so small that they can fit on our lap in only one arm, and that we can simply look at them to sleep. But, having the other side too, now that I know how funny they can be at 1 and 2 years old, I feel like watching them grow - but not too much!

Source

Looking for help is a sign of intelligence

There is no need to reach the limit to seek help. On the contrary. Often, the sooner, the better. We are new to this, we are not born taught, but there is still some stigma, sometimes, in “asking for help”. But if there are resources, they are to be used. If when the baby is sick, we turn to doctors and hospitals or other help, why not go when we can prevent and improve some aspects, without reaching a threshold of despair?

We don't have to accept that one day things change, not least because in many cases they just don't change, if we do nothing.

It is not just the first child that we need help and we are not necessarily pro at all.

Last but not least, we may also need help ourselves - Mothers. To rest, to get back in shape or simply to let off steam and feel accompanied and understood. Delegate, ask for support from family or friends, hire someone who can help at home or with the baby, return to exercise, or do psychotherapy.

I think this is the best advice I can give to my friends and all future Mothers - use and abuse your resources and ask for help. For your health, for your sanity, for your babies, for your family.

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    • Nela13 profile imageAUTHOR

      Manuela 

      12 months ago from Portugal

      I am so sorry that you are going through this Vicvicvicalee, I really hope your daughter gets rid of that awful boyfriend.

    • profile image

      Vicvicvicalee 

      12 months ago

      I have a 27 year old daughter who lives with me she currently was working but the pain dead it laid off for job cuz she gets unemployment she doesn't pay rent she has a boyfriend that is a homewrecker and talks to me like you don't even know you didn't want to be talked about so she starts talking to me like this she hasn't slept in her room in a month I would really like her to pack her stuff up and get on with her life and move out would that be all right I can do all I can do because she always brings up the past of her living because of her boyfriend and we've already passed that me and my daughter but he's bringing up all the issues from when she is growing up but she has no no reason to even be a part of that part of our Lives because he was nowhere around he's a homewrecker trashes me in front of my daughter and I think he hits her

    • Nela13 profile imageAUTHOR

      Manuela 

      12 months ago from Portugal

      Thank you Linda, I am glad you liked the article.

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      12 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      You've shared some great advice. I love the photos of your children.

    • Nela13 profile imageAUTHOR

      Manuela 

      12 months ago from Portugal

      Thank you JC Scull for stepping by.

    • JC Scull profile image

      JC Scull 

      12 months ago from Gainesville, Florida

      You have beautiful children. Parabéns

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