ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Let Them Be Little

Updated on July 28, 2017

As a parent, you should never speak negatively about the other parent to OR in front of your kids.

Children are innocent, loving, and protective.

If you criticize the other parent, you are forcing your child to grow up too soon. The intrinsic innocence of a child cannot comprehend judgement, negativity, and criticism.

The natural dedication and gratitude your child feels for you will allow him or her to embrace, mimic, and eventually believe the unfavorable things you say about his/her own father/mother.

Mind you, your child is dedicated and grateful to his/her other parent as well. You're making your own child resent you, although that may not be evident until the child is older.

When both parents speak negatively of each other to/in front of the their child, both of the child's home environments force him into a referee position.

No matter which call he makes, one side is going to be upset by the outcome.

The child who loves you and wants nothing more than to make you happy and proud, immediately feels as though he has let you down. It's constant.

Your child develops stress.

Your child learns how to lie and manipulate to appeal to the emotions of his piers.

Your child learns that such a "relationship" between parents is acceptable behavior, so, more than likely, your own grandchildren will grow up in a hostile, stressful environment.

Your own grandchildren--just like your own child-- will, through your nurture, learn how to refuse to interact with their own empathetic feelings.

My sweet babies.
My sweet babies. | Source

Child Support

Child support laws are not very well constructed, in my opinion.

The current general guideline for a "we both want out of this marriage. We both make about the same amount of money" type divorce is acceptable.

However, the other 95% of divorces should receive individualized attention before any child support is mandated.

Child support should support children. Child support should not punish parents who so desperately want to spend more time with their kids.

I was "That Kid"

I don't hold either of my parents' individual actions against them. I don't think about the validity of the accusations they each made against one another.

They were both my parents. To me, they each hung equal parts of the moon.

Even still, they each wanted me to think that the other was awful. How could I do such a thing? They had supported each other in the past. Now they hate each other, yet I am the one who must voice a lack of support and admiration? There was simply no word available to described just how much I admired them both.

Looking back I think, "Why did I have to stand in the middle of a frozen pond while the temperatures crept dangerously close to exceeding the freezing point? Why couldn't I just love them both equally and not feel ashamed about it? Why couldn't I just feel as carefree in my head as my physical actions of playing with dolls and gi-joes portrayed?"

They wanted me to choose a side, and I refused.

I had to grow up way too fast to mentally comprehend what was going on.

I was forced to become an adult.

I was forced to abandon my own childhood innocence.

The Father of My Children

I am proud to say that my ex-husband is the father of my children.

We had our issues, but we attempted to remain a family unit. We were married for almost 9 years. The damage had been done, but our children were not impacted. We remained civil, amicable, and friendly.

He will always be one of my best friends.

I have never kept my children from him, and he has never kept them from me.

I would never hurt my children by doing that, and I feel that he wouldn't either.

Co-Parent for Them.

No matter how bitter you are towards your ex, please realize that your children are the only ones who have anything to gain or lose by your refusal to co-parent.

Love them. Nurture them. Instill values within them. Encourage a bond between the other parent and your children.

Let Them Be Children. Let Them be Little.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Adusei Emmanuel profile image

      Adusei Appiah Emmanuel 

      19 months ago from Kumasi

      well done, i like your article. keep it up.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)