- Family and Parenting»
- Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice
Little Girls need a Daddy
The difference between being a father or mother and being a DAD or MOM
One of the greatest challenges in parenting is understanding how to be a dad or mom.
Anyone can be a father or a mother. That just involves sex and 40 weeks of pregnancy. You don't have to do anything after the child is born, and you certainly don't have to be involved in the life of the other person after the act. Some people use kids to gain money from the government or to feel loved. Others simply don't care what happens and if they have a child it is more of a hindrance or annoyance in life than anything else.Lately I have seen many people who are simply taking care of kids but don't really care what the kid does or how the kid acts around others. It is much easier to be a father or a mother.
But to be a mom or a dad, that takes a life time of growing, changing, loving and being hurt. It means you are up during the night with colds and feedings, you are constantly wondering if your child is healthy, happy, warm, and comfortable enough. Their life becomes a constant thought in your daily schedule. A mom or a dad is truly and deeply invested in the life of the child.
The biggest difference between a mom and a mother or a dad and a father, is that a mom or dad CARES. They want to be a part of the child's life and enjoy the child for who they are. Not every child has a mom or a dad, and every child needs at least one.
People are trying to make a difference
There are several great websites out there in support of changing the way society and magazines force us to view people. This is just one example of all the issues girls face as they get older and see more and more photoshopped images.
When on the upworthy site, do a search on photoshop, there are many more videos of what companies do to make a girl's understanding of body image confused or unhealthy.
Always be honest when you compliment
Little girls seem to be the ones who are affected the most by society and having a father and not a dad. I realize growing up as a boy has its own challenges, but I want to focus on raising girls to be women and trying to find the best way for a father to be a dad to a little girl.
Too often people find a little girl or a baby girl to be cute. And they constantly tell the girl how cute she is until she is 4 or 5. Then they stop saying anything about her being cute. Is she suddenly ugly? Did she change? Dads need to remember that a daughter is always beautiful, and she needs to know that every day. However, she also knows better than most when someone is just saying it to be nice. A dad needs to truly MEAN what they say, they need to be honest and loving when they tell their daughter how much they love them.
It is the same way with tell her she is smart or funny or any other compliment. They need to be every day and not just once in a while or for only a short period of her life. She needs to know that she matters to someone early on so that she can understand what love truly is and won't settle for something less. She needs to see someone care for her and protect her. She also needs to know that what she says matters and her opinions can make a difference.
The other great challenge in being a dad is that you have to treat her mother (whether you are married or not) like a mom. A dad needs to prove that there is a right way and a wrong way to treat another person, especially his daughter, and help her understand that she deserves only the right way to be treated. If the dad treats the mom with respect and honor, then the children will see what it means to be in a healthy and loving relationship. This will become what the child looks for in their own future relationships.
She will find someone just like her dad, or NOTHING like her father
A girl will decide who she wants to marry based on her parents and usually her dad. If it is just some guy, a father, then she will find all the things she hated about him and find someone who is the opposite of those attributes. She will search someone who will be there when she needs to talk or cry, and she will be hurt even more when someone fails to help her when she needs support and love.
If she had a dad, then she will look for someone who is just like daddy, someone who is going to love her in a positive and fulfilling way. She is going to find a someone who is going to love and support her in life and in all of her choices. The woman will understand the great difference between being loved and just being seen as flesh.
In a world where the divorce rate seems to keep climbing and people tend to find love in strange and sometimes harmful ways, a girl needs to understand what she wants in a relationship. She needs to know what is right and wrong in a relationship, and her dad is the one she is going to use for comparing all other men. Good or bad, she is going to use someone she knows well to figure out what matters the most to her.
The role of the media
Do the ads we see everywhere help create strong and intelligent women?
Breaking the cycle
One of my favorite definitions for Insanity is to do the same thing over and over but expect different results each time (I have always heard it came from Einstein). If parents do not change the way we treat our children, if parents keep thinking that kids don't need time or love then we are going to continue to have people that don't care about others. We need to make a change in how we treat people.
According to the UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund, educating girls and women is one of the best ways to make a significant difference in the way the world works. Then women will understand the need for health care, education and being respected as an equal in the work place. By allowing girls and women to be educated will empowered them to lead, make a difference and support themselves so they can help change the society that keeps showing them computer doctored body images and other false concepts.
What girls learn about beauty is all photoshopped
Protect your child's self-image
While being a dad or a mom means you cannot protect your child from everything. It does give you ample time to teach and help the child understand who they are and how important they are to someone. A mom or dad can create a safe place for conversation and support. They can create a healthy child who can enter the world knowing that there are people out there who only want to hurt, con, or decieve others.
Little girls need a daddy and a mommy. I know little boys do too, and most of this could be related to them, but lately I have been amazed and saddened by how many lies are out there about how a girl should act or what she should look like. Hopefully enough people will help someone be a mom or a dad, to teach or at the very least support someone raise a child in a loving home. If more children are brought up in an environment that is safe then many of the problems in our society and maybe even world can at least begin to change. I lift up being a good dad to a girl because I have a daughter. I want the world to be better for her than it is right now. I am teaching my son and daughter how to treat others, but mostly I want them to know how much they need love in their lives. But they also need to know that there are people who do not understand what it means to be helpful, kind, or loving. Too often those people only had mothers and fathers. If they never experienced love, they have no understanding of how to show love to others.
Little boys and girls need a mommy or daddy, because that is one way we can change the world, one little girl or little boy at a time.