ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Love that is Tough

Updated on December 25, 2019

Apart from peer pressure, there is another kind of pressure that is faced in families. Many people under this pressure, live two lives. Outside the home, they enjoy their freedom to the fullest, and when they are in their homes, they confine to the rules of family etiquette. Whereas even the opposite is true. Outside people can mask their way of living in a certain way and in their homes they are true to their colors.

Islam laid emphasis on the list of haraam things that a Muslim should stay away from; while also delegating the minimum requirements to qualify as a Muslim, like praying five times a day, fasting in Ramadan, paying zakat and performing Hajj when eligible. Fulfilling these minimum requirements will make you eligible to enter Jannah. But when it comes to parents, Allah set out Ihsan to be the minimum requirement. Ihsan in Arabic is the best of anything. Here, in this context, Ihsan means being in the best behavior when it comes to treating parents with love and respect. This clearly implies that anything less than the best will fall under the haraam category of Islam. Allah states in the Quran in Sura Isra that don't even utter a word of contempt (UFF) to them; treat them kindly when anyone or both of attain old age; and pray to Allah to have mercy on them just the way they treated us when we were young.

The thing that the Quran needs to be appreciated is the way in which it puts across things. So much of the Quran is dedicated to how to speak, apart from what to speak. The way Ibrahim (as) spoke to his father, how Luqman spoke to his son, and many other examples emphasize how they spoke the truth while also holding onto the respect and love they had while speaking it. And telling your loved ones about the wrong they are doing with utmost love and respect is one of the toughest things in this world. It is exactly in such a situation that the devil will trick you into falling in one of the extremes. On one hand the devil will ask you to speak out the truth as it is. He will trick you into being harsh and judgemental. While on the other hand he will coax you to keep silent to maintain the respect the love and respect you have for them. And this balance needs to be maintained while propagating teachings of Islam, especially to our parents and elders. And it is easier said than done. Our loved ones are very sensitive to critical things. But at the same time we need to keep in mind that we cannot let go of the truth just because we love our loved ones. It would mean avoiding a surgery which is beneficial just because it means cutting up the body.

There is also one more important thing to remember while delivering truth with love and respect. Our job is to only deliver the truth; not to convince everyone who heard the message. The only one you need to please through this act is Allah. Allah is the one who keeps the power to change hearts. DO NOT get offended when your message is ignored or turned down. Do not turn this into an ego issue and get disheartened. Instead be content that you presented the truth and Allah has noticed that. Nuh (AS) preached his message for 950 years and from his whole nation, only a handful of people embraced his message, that also did not include his wife and son.

And when the same message was preached by Ibrahim (AS) to his father, he did not pay heed to even a single word he had to say. Instead he warned him to stay away from him and not to repeat his message, lest he wants to be pelted with stones.

Some of you may go through struggles like these. Allah has put such stories in the Quran to show us that we are not alone. When we are confronted with such situations, Allah shows us how to navigate through such circumstances. Our job is is to be as honest, courteous and loving as we can be; while at the same time holding on to the truth and cope with them in a healthy way.

May Allah help us to extract knowledge from His book and to live by that guidance and reward us for our patience. Aameen.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)