- Family and Parenting
May Sibling Rivalry Newsletter (Part 2) 2017
Something To Think About
A good read: How many times, particularly when unsure or uncertain, have persons resorted to the opposite of what they say? This happened to be what James Brown said in the book “What A Negro Can Do About Crime”.
The argument is talking about blacks and the streets. It has been stated that anything associated with crime and the streets is mental illness. That was derived from Roland Huntford. This book has a wide margin with which to make comparisons concerning the philosophy of black street crime.
On Charles Silverman: “Identity is not something that can be found, it must be created.”
WHAT ADHD PERSONS NEED TO CONCENTRATE WHERE?
As with children, language opens up a whole new world to express thoughts. Children vocally internalize their speech after accepting a certain environmental mentality of their surroundings and persons and voices about subculture. As children grow, this internalized speech is the way of communicating to self.
The way children communicate initially is for awareness from language to inhibiting the information, then it becomes our private speech that develops from guidance and instruction. When language becomes a seventh sense (our confidant) children are able to grasp the task-at-hand and prepare to tackle the impinging ways for completing what is required. According to Barkley in his article What's Really Wrong With My Child, he acknowledges to “ride out the current situation” and to undermine what is taking place.
This is referred to as rule-governed behavior. It allows one to do better from past events, to hold onto a thought to make decisions that gives one a better perspective to problem solve.
ADHD PERSONS & PROBLEMS WITH RULE-GOVERNED BEHAVIOR
The diagnosis for too much talk and not enough internalizing of speech is ADHD specific. Persons in this category who are less able to delay a response and think before speech have less control over rule-governed behavior, taking and giving instructions, not as efficient at problem-solving.
The most advantages of following a plan that includes controlling our inhibitions: influence more favorable for what's been taught at an early age, and knowing a good thing when they see one. It takes more than a hunch to be swayed away from a commitment, can be flexible, and follows through on tasks such as homework; constancy and consistency rule-governed behavior shows results.
WHAT IS THE RUB ON EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT IN ADHD?
Parents are the first persons to teach children what's right and what's wrong. If not, a distortion lays between a child's ability to decide how to proceed in responding to stimuli that effect their very nature of personality. Children are taught to see outside objectively, not as warm and loving as their parents are to them. If children exhibit emotional feelings toward persons they hardly know, they haven't the foggiest idea of how they can possibly be in danger. Also, by first showing emotional or separating the personal from the objective, the ADHD child finds remorseful feelings of hostility and rejection from others, especially peers who prey on their immaturity. One example entails a parent abusing another parent with the child involved in the matter. If the child delays a response, violence in the home is curtailed, better reactions are forthcoming. We see “our world more objectively”. Another example is when a child who's lost a pet and has a crying spell would be better off if evaluating the situation and concluding it was time for the pet in that way. In most situations, a positive outcome is the result if patience and cooperation help families recoup what they lost or went through.
“Let impulse control the information, not the emotion controlling the impulse.
SIBLING RIVALRY IN INTERNALIZING MOTIVATION
Children need realize how important it is to control their emotional state to get along with their sisters and brothers. No one in their right mind can control every impulse, but always revving back and taking a swap at a little brother or sister is naughty and not nice. Before long, mother intervenes, separating the two and trying to find out what happened for such a commotion. By turning the thermostat down to a lower emotional level, thinking positive thoughts, staying cool and calm, or talking out and expressing the emotion, siblings can prevent that nostalgic feeling about siblings who fight. Even if the feelings are negative and the sibling is provoking an opportunity for a confrontation, internalizing that reaction will direct your response toward a better outcome. What's good about this is willpower, self-determination, and “intrinsic motivation” to name a few. We have a clear and decisive path to follow; goal setting and reward seeking with the incentive to fill a void that is less of a public display. The children who have symptoms of ADHD care little for these types of motivation because some activity is the internalization of behavior that is not working, and external sources are only temporary. ADHD children are lonely or bored with the functionality and “drift away from” instead of capturing the essence of the problem. Further research can only reveal the reasons for this inability.
RECONSTRUCTION OR RESISTANCE
A short attention span is the reason reconstitution fits into this equation of inhibiting emotion before responding to stimuli. Whatever happens, the essential ingredient is language and a language barrier causes a breakdown of incoming messages. All inhibiting behavior has a sequence of messages that are small units. With new stimuli from outside sources, those smaller units begin to get bigger, creating and recombining to form new messages. A short attention span details a deficit in processing information efficiently at a pace that is conducive to age and grade. The ADHD child generally has problems sitting still, moves around, and won't concentrate, so sentence structure is impaired. The mental ability is mature but the capacity to remain stable is not. Outcomes are irrational. Until they receive help with treatment and or medication, they are not coping with the task at hand and need to explore and ask more questions.
Step siblings who are very young when the two adults marry do not have trouble adjusting to each other. They develop almost as normal as siblings do. A sibling whose parent has separated and lives elsewhere and was his parent's favorite, finds its difficult to accept new step siblings of his new step family. More than anything, this sibling feels deprived of attention, but if the two adults of the new step family has a newborn, the new member of the family narrows the gap between the two families. There is a lot of tension in step families and some of the ways that siblings can deal with the situation is to work things out-help with the newborn, talk more with step parent to see where there are things siblings can relate to. Also to see whether one parent is of the same birth order to get a better perspective on things. Step siblings are competitors for attention and challengers to do better than their step siblings. They will be on the move to do better at school which can cause resentment, envy, and misunderstanding in the household. Siblings must have a clear chart or goal to prevent hurting or harming selves. As mentioned in this study, a sister's competitiveness caused a step sibling to stop eating, to gain the attention from her new parents because step sister was prettier than she was and she ended up at the hospital with bulimia. The step sibling was older, more mature, and pretty. She couldn't handle all the attention her younger step sibling was getting from a natural father.
“Parents may punish their children unintentionally by humiliation, punishment...when not measuring up to brothers and sisters.”
ON SOME THINGS
ON TONI MORRISON & THE AMERICAN TRADITION: A RHETORICAL READING BY HERBERT WILLIAM RICE. AMERICAN UNIVERSAL STUDIES/PETER LANG PUBLISHING, INC.1996.
Talking about the voices and how they compliment and conflict among themselves, its sort of the veil, a relatedness that will not just up and disappear. But in order to write, Morrison confines her writing to these other voices, voices of the black dialect and intertwines with the white traditional voice. How is this released? According to Bakhtin-language to some degree determines intent, the matter becomes quite complex. pg. 9.
Or more to the understanding of – must acknowledge the tension in her work/ the “seemingly absent perspective, yet the language is multi-voiced. This tension acknowledges the writer and its work.
ONE MORE THING
From our studies from Organizational Behavior by McShane and Glinow on human drives and (employee) motivation and behavior: Motivation drives a person's direction and intensity of human behavior. Primary needs when being met helps to maintain an internal equilibrium. "They are the 'prime movers' of behavior, activating emotions that put us in a state of readiness to act. Needs-goal-directed forces that people experience-are shaped by the individuals self-concept (including personality and values), social norms, and past experience. " Foundations of Employee Motivation. Ch. 5. pg. 153.