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Mistakes Parents May Commit While Disciplining Their Children
Most of the parents commit mistakes unintentionally while trying to discipline their children. The problem is they rely upon what are called "parenting instincts" for dealing with their kids. But they must realize that instincts alone will not help them for making their children behave properly. The following points may help:
Common Mistakes Of Parents
Children sometimes act crazy. But as a parent, you must not try to correct them when you are angry because you may raise your voice, swear or lose your control. Since children learn most of their behaviors from their parents, your kids may also learn yelling, shouting, swearing and losing control from you. So, when your kids act crazy and you are angry, keep quiet for some time. Once your emotions come under your control, talk to them calmly and explain to them the consequences of their behaviors directly and politely.
Parenting experts have found out that hitting or physically punishing children is the most ineffective way of disciplining them. This approach will do more harm than good because kids will also learn that they must use force when they come across situations they do not like. As a parent, you must teach them good behaviors and therefore, you cannot be a bad example.
If your behaviors and reactions to situations are inconsistent, your children may be confused. Therefore, your responses should be the same for all similar situations.
Never bribe your children for making them behave properly. Many parents commit the mistake of promising gifts, rewards and other items with an intention to discipline their children. But children may conclude that if they behave in an improper manner, they will get some rewards for acting appropriately. Instead of bribing them, you can tell them that a proper behavior will make them feel good. Once you make them understand that there will be positive consequences if they behave positively, they will start behaving properly.
Both The Parents Must Adopt The Same Strategy
While devising the disciplining strategies for your children, both you and your spouse should agree to adopt the same set of rules. Otherwise, it may turn out to be one parent playing against the other.
No Need Of The Consent Of The Children For Disciplining Them
You need not think that you need the consent of your children for disciplining them. As a parent, you are responsible for their behaviors and so, your responses and ways are non-negotiable. Only when your children grow up, they may understand why you did the way you did.
Do Not Impose Guilt Feelings In Your Children
You may be working hard to make your family members and more particularly, your children happy. But do not try to impose guilt feelings in your children by telling this often. The fact is your children are not responsible for your struggles. Instead of creating such guilt feelings in them, tell them the consequences of their behaviors.
Children do not like long lectures. So, avoid your tirades and find out how you can have a two-way communication with them.
Do Not Compare With Other Children
Nothing can be more wrong than this. Your children may develop resentment not only against you but with those children with whom you have compared them. Every child is unique. You must therefore find out the inherent talents in your children and nurture them.
If you avoid these mistakes, you can easily make suitable adjustments to discipline your children.