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Only Parents Understand: Tooth Fairies Have a Tough Job.

Updated on October 26, 2017

Bad Mom

Being a Tooth Fairy is not a job for the weak. It takes patience, creativity, some mad ninja skills and also a good memory.

I admit it. I once forgot to 'call' the Tooth Fairy. How very upsetting it was for my daughter to wake up with her tooth still under her pillow! She thought she had done something wrong so I had to admit to my daughter that it was MY fault. I forgot to 'call' the Tooth Fairy. I picked up the phone and called the Fairy's office right then and there to schedule the appointment.

I may not have the skills, but my kids are ninjas!
I may not have the skills, but my kids are ninjas! | Source

Daughter's Letter To Tooth Fairy

Erin wrote this at 6 years old.  Her tooth fell in the sink.  It says, "Dear Tooth Fairy, I made an accident (axdint) and dropped my tooth in the sink.  Tomorrow you can try to find it.
Erin wrote this at 6 years old. Her tooth fell in the sink. It says, "Dear Tooth Fairy, I made an accident (axdint) and dropped my tooth in the sink. Tomorrow you can try to find it. | Source

A Night on the Job

It was a 8:00 p.m. and I had a backache all day so I took a pain reliever. I had just swallowed two Advil PM when my daughter reminded me that tonight the Tooth Fairy was coming.

The PM part of the Advil kicked in by 8:30 p.m. and my kiddos were still awake. It took an hour more before I was sure they were fast asleep. I had tip-toed halfway down the hallway when I realized that I didn't bring the money with me. I suck at this! I started to turn around and the floor creaked. Our dogs began barking and woke the entire house.

Mission Aborted!

My second attempt took place at 10:00 p.m. and by this point I am fighting the urge to slip off to dreamland; but I am determined. I'm already on the naughty mom's list for one little baby tooth!

Dogs outside? CHECK.

Money? CHECK.

I make my way into the room and realize that my daughter's room has become an obstacle course! It was as if the toy box up-chucked its contents. (I'm a great and tidy parent; not) Trying to tip toe around all the toys is like stepping through a mine field. The slightest touch can set a toy off into musical frenzy that will wake the entire neighborhood. I MUST be very, very careful.

I was impressing myself with my ninja skills as I maneuvered my way across the mine field of toys but that praise was premature. I was almost there when my foot came down on a microscopic stiletto heel that could only belong to Barbie. I held my breath and managed not to curse or cry out loud.

I am now fully awake.

I managed to make it to the bed. I carefully reached under her pillow. No tooth. I reached further. I can't find the tooth! I have to lift her head to get to it. I almost had it when out of nowhere the cat jumps up onto the pillow! My daughter wakes and looks at me suspiciously. I think fast. I scoop up the cat and tell my child that cats eat fairies so I was taking the cat out of her room. Great. Now I've done it. She's awake now and demands the cat be thrown outside or imprisoned in the bathroom.

Abort Mission. Again.

The third attempt was a success. Sort of.

Dogs outside? CHECK

Money? (twice the usual amount) CHECK.

Cat outside? CHECK

Thick winter socks to protect me from Barbie Shoes? Yes!

Let's do this!

It is now close to 11:00 p.m. I went back into Ninja Mode and began again. Swiftly and Gracefully (don't buy that) I went through all the steps before.

I did it! In one swift movement I had the tooth out and the money in. I was so excited that I did a little happy dance as I retreated through the mine field of Barbie shoes, Lincoln Logs, Legos and musical evil toys. Then all of a sudden my socked feet came out from under me and my butt hit the floor. HARD. I froze and bit my lip to not cry out in pain when my daughter lifted her head, smiles a sleepy smile and asked, "Mommy, What does the Tooth Fairy DO with all those teeth?" I let out a shaky breath and searched my imagination for something that wouldn't give her nightmares and started to stutter a bit, however she was sound asleep again.

Mission Accomplished!

I crawled into bed, cursing fairies, Barbie shoes and slippery socks. I was so tired and a little bruised.

Worth It

The next morning I awoke to squeals of delight and laughter. I was sleepy and sore but those smiles and moments like this make it all worth it.

Does Your Family Have a Tooth Fairy?

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© 2011 Kelly Pittman


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