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My Teenage son is in his Bedroom Sleeping.
Finally He's Here
His birth was so exciting, the first thing his mother wanted was a coca-cola. That was the first thing she said after he arrived. Then she wanted sleep!
The whole ordeal made me look much older.
Then we took him home bundled in his new blankey and about $400 dollars worth of designer baby clothes that would never be worn much at all. I think they brought about $4 dollars at a yard sale.
No Sleep No Sleep
I thought he would never sleep through the night. We rocked, bounced and used up about 1,000 gallons of gas putting the little tyke to sleep. (He liked to go for rides in the middle of the night) I had repetitive motion injury due to rocking him back and forth with my foot. Couldn't walk for a week.
And then he slept with one eye open. Watching and waiting for us to doze off. As soon as I fell asleep, he started in on his nocturnal journey of tormenting us with sleep deprivation. For two years, I went without a complete night of sleep.
That by the way is why I look so old. I have him to thank.
I lost my Brains
After two he was really fun for a few years. Then he reached the teens. The child evolved, and twisted free from his caccoon and what emerged was a whole new person. I was amazed at how much information he had. I suddenly knew nothing and he knew everything. What a transformation!
Where the heck is he? Sleeping?
Then one Saturday morning, I inquired as to his whereabouts. Oh, he's sleeping. Did I miss something here? He's what? Sleeping and it is almost noon. Should we check on him? Suddenly he cannot get up for school and weekends are for 14 hours of sleep, 2 hours of eating, and 8 hours of going to town.
Well I finally got my wish, he let me sleep through the night! I would like some help with the yard work though. I think I remember a father's day when he promised to work in the yard for a whole day. When does he plan to pay that debt?
Sleep Sleep Sleep
He slept and slept and slept. What the heck. Was he hibernating? I could not figure out why this bothered me so much. But looking back, I think I was resentful that he would steal my sleep all that time and then just blatantly sleep whenever he wanted.
This also made me look much older.
Ah Now for the Beauty Sleep!
Now I am semi-retired. That means that I am still working although I am willing to take much less pay. I look forward to summers and weekends because since I work for a school I can have some of that time to just stay in bed. I still wake up early, but I lay in bed and refuse to look at the clock because I do not want to know the time but from the darkness in the room, it must be 4 AM. Get up go to the bathroom. Check my email. And finally go back to bed. And then my phone rings.
It is him. “Hey Dad, I woke up early and thought I would give you a call. I wake up early now because I am used to getting up for work.” I think to myself, “Oh goody!” Well it is just too damn late to be getting up early. Look at me. I look old. Just when I am to get my beauty sleep I have to rise.
I love the boy, I am glad he calls me. I love it actually. It is worth looking old I guess.
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