- Family and Parenting»
My Young Friend
How to Deal with a Temperamental Teenager
1) Be a friend and make sure you sincerely are treating them like one. A true friend is never patronizing and seek to be right all the time. A friend comforts the hurting; not lashing at them. Give them moral support whenever needed.
2) Be a good listener. Offer your opinion only when asked for. If you need to advice them about something; do so gently and never in an imposing way. Listen to them. Read between the lines. What they want to convey may sometimes be the very thing they never directly say. Teenagers can be confused about something but may never realize it themselves. And most of them dislike being told what, when, and how to do things.
3) Never interrogate. Instead pay attention to their change of behavior, new friends they became close to. Pay attention to the change of image in their taste of clothing. All of these are indicators of changes in their lives. And take note if they suddenly seemed to see less of their usual set of friends when it started. It is commendable that you maintain a good relationship with your teenager's friends as well. They may be able to lead you to your teenager's heart's condition. Allow them to make mistakes. When they run to you, it's because you are their trusted friend first and mom naturally. This is when you are to be honest yet show that you empathize. Give them hope.
4) Talk about your day, what frustrates you. You'll be surprised that they are observing you just as much as you are. By making them aware of your up's and down's, they will learn to understand you better and in the long run, that understanding will be a compromise between the both of you.
5) Share some part of you with them, a special something that is known only between the two of you. It will be a sweet memory they will cherish as an adult.
6) Make some jokes at least once in a while to lighten the mood and gradually dissolving past tensions. Please, make sure that it's not some joke that only you and your bunch of friends can understand, make jokes that they can appreciate and find irresistibly funny. Just not too much of the same thing though, most teenagers tends to get bored quickly. Remember the song "A smile", one smile if not immediate; will eventually make two or more.
7) Very important to keep your word. To trust and losing it is very easy during teen years. And if you did, have the courteousy to apologize and refrain to jump into yet another promise. You need not promise that it wouldn't happen again, just let it go. But you can say, "I need you to know that I hope this will never happen again, but i can't promise you it wouldn't. This is what I can do, I will try to be more careful about us, because you mean so much to me." It's just an example. Just say whatever you need to say as long as you mean it; every word you say.