- Family and Parenting
Negative-Negativity Just My Opinion
Are You Negative?
I was recently viewing some hubs,hub hopping,just to see what people were writing about these days. I read through several hubs. I try to put myself right in the moment of what someone else was thinking when they wrote down their thoughts.I have to say one thing that really bothers me in this world more than anything else is the way people judge one another. Ever since I started on hubpages-I have wanted to write a page on Prejudice-negative people-judgemental people and how it is really taught.We are not brought into the world being so judgemental it is what we are taught by watching and listening to others.I know it is such a touchy subject.There are so many people who have strong opinions,whether it is right or wrong-It is what they believe.
Comments People Make
Many times in my line of work I hear people make comments- that are just in my opinion-should not be 'an out in public conversation'. I have had people sit in my chair for a hair service and start a conversation with-something like- I don't think we should have a black president-because he is black. And as I sit and listen to their reason why- I am surprised, was any thought even put in to the reason? Or is it simply because he is not the same as they are? The thought of his color ,race or religion is not my main concern- after all- he is human.I was not brought up to believe that anyone should be my slave or my personal servant.My parents had their own opinions-but they never pushed me to believe that I should think less of someone because they were different. I personally think real highly of our president and I am pretty proud that he has been trying to make a change. My first questions were Can he do the job? Will he be strong enough to handle the pressure? Will he make an effort to make things affordable? How will his decisions and thoughts effect me? My Family? My friends and relatives? Will he be able to get others to work together with him to actually make real changes? I thought about the way he spoke and what he was saying. He really seems to care-about people-and families. To me he sounds sincere-like he truly wants change. As an American-who has been working my butt off year after year trying to do whatever I can to provide for my family-I want change too. I want to be able to afford to put a decent meal on the table each night-not a fast food or frozen dinner-I would also like to be able to sit and relax with my family maybe one night a week without having to rush back out to work. I do realize also that no one man can change the world overnight-or without the support of others. One person alone did not put the world into this spin and one person alone will not be able to make it better. I think back to "United We Stand" and I have to wonder, How United are we? Are we 'Really' trying to work together as Americans? Is America so divided into so many groups, of color,race,religion, democrats and republicans etcetera that we are ready to fall? Do we as Americans all have the same goals? Are we Really One Nation Under God? Or even just one nation willing to work together?
I have to wonder how things will be for my children as they grow up. What can I do to make things better for thier future? I don't believe teaching my children to not like someone-just because they are different from me-or because they do not view things the same as me.
What I read
I was reading a hub that was basically saying that it is not right for others to have freedom of choice. The hub suggested that a child with two parents of the same sex are being confused. They may grow up believing that this behavior is OK. They may grow up and turn to drugs or commit suicide.They may be confused if there mom dresses like a man or if a man dresses like a woman. And this Huber stated "Something is Wrong in America". " Who are we hurting? You are hurting innocent children, who are already dealing with so many issues,from peer pressure,media,what they see on television,video games,school and dating." Another point made was that "Can a man really talk to his girl about female issues"; It was said that "he can only try but will never be able to give the mothering love a girl needs." What happens when Johnny is playing ball with mom, who is playing dad and she falls down-gets hurt? Will they cry like a girl or suck it up like a man?
Children are little Humans
Children can do all these same things with two parents of the oppisite sex with strong disipline and great parenting skills. Children will always have peer pressure-because they are human. Because they will always try to please someone. As children I believe we always want to learn if someone is willing to teach-but we are not always sure what is right and wrong-but this is only because there are so many opinions of what is wrong and what is right.
I believe children are influenced by a lot of things. Such as what they are taught when young. The little things that our parents tell us like this or that should or should not be because this is what they were taught or were raised to believe. Well If my child he/she made a choice that I did not agree with I would not turn my back on them,and all the sudden love them any less because they were old enough to make their own decision. And to suggest a child with two parents of the same sex may be more confused is just an opinion-not a fact. The only real fact is that children learn what we teach them, and unless there is a way to lock your child away from the world until you have taught them that your way is the only way-they will also learn from others. Children who lose a mother or father may also be put into a position like Johnny playing ball.If the parent was left to raise the child alone you would have the same situation at the ball field. Not all females are soft and not all males are strong and bold.We are all unique and different.
What confuses a child?
There are many things to confuse a child in a family with a mother and a father. Not everyone is raised to judge others because they are different-although I believe in my own beliefs now that I am an adult -not only what my parents taught me- It is just common sense to me.To believe something simply because some one else does -is not common sense.I would rather teach my children to be leaders not followers. I disagree that a woman or a man can not handle a situation of child falling down simply because they are whoever they are. There are many children who struggle with their emotions as adults because the parents teach them to "Suck It Up" only girls are allowed to cry. The truth is everyone has emotions and it is ok to feel them- It is OK to cry. And I believe if you teach your child that they shouldn't cry because they are male is just heartless. So what then should a real man do? Should a real man walk around without any warmth or emotion? Maybe real men should be able to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders everyday-never relate to what they feel because they were taught "real men don't cry." Real men are bold and strong-they should never have any reason to feel sad or hurt and should definitely never cry. I personally think that is crazy. I have a son- I have a daughter.Both of my children are different-even though they were both raised in the same house with the same rules with two parents of the opposite sex. Children listen-children learn and most children eventually do what they feel is right for them unless they are too afraid to believe in themselves because some one has taught them or expressed to them that if they do someone else might not approve.
Just My Opinion
My point is that these kind of statements are what holds children back and adults too.Bold statements that are negative and judgemental are what are most remembered by children. It should not matter to others how someone else is raising a child unless the child is in danger. There is also not much research that can prove a child with parents of one sex or a child with parents of opposite sex are more or less confused. The same things can happen in all relationships whether it is a friendship,marriage or any other relationship. We were not put on this earth to judge people for making their own decisions.
I just don't believe it is a wise thing to put anyone down or to encourage my kids to dislike someone because they are not like me.
5 Ways to stay Positive
This was my comment:
There are so many things that influence children-not just-The Gay community-> I was not brought up to believe this was a normal thing-2 men or 2 woman in an intimate relationship-but I think if we are not happy our kids will not be happy no matter who our relationships are with-If we are miserable negative thinking people who judge others so quickly without even knowing who they really are that is what the children will learn to be-and I believe every human deserves to be happy-and to discriminate or judge someone who is not like you or brought up to have the same beliefs as you is just wrong and this also promotes confusion in any child.It is promoting negative thinking and hatred in a child's mind and will probably have a child thinking they can not be friends with someone who there parents don't approve of because they are different-by color race or religion or sexual preference.For you to feel this way is fine-but I think we are all created different and unique for a reason and I thank god we are not all the same-how could the world ever grow strong or united with so many people teaching their kids to hate or dislike those who are not the same as they are.And I don't believe it is being 'promoted' as you say - I think maybe some people just have respect for other people's choices. And there is something wrong in America- It is the people who are teaching with words of negativity.The ones who teach children that they should openly express there hatred and anger towards anyone who looks or acts differently then they are.
There is not a rule book that says everyone we meet in our lives should act and think like we do. Everyone should like everyone. This does not mean they have to be your best friend. Just accept the fact that there is not only one color, race or religion or opinion and stop trying to divide the world into groups. We are one Nation with many thoughts,ideas and opinions and colors.We should encourage more working together> which is what will make us stronger.