No Roots to My Tree

Adoption-- i believe it's a good decision. I also believe that an adopted child has the right to know where he/she came from. I am an adoptee, I was adopted when I was six months old by my wonderful adopted parents thirty eight years ago from Los Angeles county. My childhood was fine, my adopted parents raised me with plenty of love. As I got older I began wondering about who did I come from,who do I look like and questions like that. When I had my kids that made these questions something I would think about daily, especially when I'm filling out forms asking about my medical background, and I don't know is not really an acceptable answer but maybe should be? Not only is it situations like that but not knowing any type of blood line or any blood relatives can be hard for someone like me. Growing up I was around "family" but it wasn't my family. My parents and I never really talked about my adoption, I've seen my adoption papers but I'm still left feeling empty. I've researched everywhere on the internet about finding my birth parents but it's so confusing Im not quite sure where to start. Now I feel that looking for my birth parents may do more harm than good or the outcome would be something I'm not prepared for. Being adopted has left me with abandonment issues and trust issues(just to name a few). Anyone looking to adopt needs to realize that this child being adopted will have questions one day and deserves answers. I am now more accepting of me being adopted but the little things that someone else may take for granted about their family, I will notice and then I can't help but wonder what that would be like. I see the difference in the love my adopted mother has with me and the (natural) love I have for my kids. Therefore, I believe there is a difference between an adopted love and a natural love. When I look at my kids I can see my characteristics and my traits in them, when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't know who I'm looking at.