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Parental Approval

Updated on July 25, 2009

If you big dillema consists of how to get your folks to listen to you, read on! For every siuation, there's a specific approach. Here's a guide on how to talk to your parents, whether your bringing up a touchy issue or an everyday topic.

TALK TO THEM ABOUT

1) Your day

  • Start with: "I can't wait to tell you about what happened to me this morning.:
  • Make sure they understand: the amusing details of how your day went, no matter how mundane they may seem. Be interested in they too by sharing and listening to the seemingly trivial things. Establishing good communication with your parents is a way to build a strong connection. Bear in mind that lack of this, is one of the root causes of huge misunderstanding between parents and their teens.
  • Don't say: "There's nothing to share because there's nothing interesting about my life.

2) YOUR FRIENDS

  • Start with: "I feel happiest when I'm with...."
  • Make sure they understand: how your friends help you become a better person. If your parents don't like then, it's important that you highlight your friends' good qualities. When you go out with them, update your parents on your plans so they won't assume you're hiding something. Keep the communication lines open between your folks and your girlfriends, too, so they can get know each other.
  • Don't say: "You're ruining my social life!"

3. ASKING FOR HIGHER ALLOWANCE

  • Start with: "The demands at school is starting to drain my pockets."
  • Make sure they understand: what your daily expenses are so your parents can recognize which activities cause you to spend more. Has an allowance increase become necessary, or did you just run one of money for Friday night gimmicks? Avoid complaining when making your request. Suggest a compromise like volunteering to do more household choses. If they agree you a raise, don't forget to thank them.
  • Don't say: "I'm always broke. You're depriving me of my needs!"

4. GETTING LOW GRADES

  • Start with: "I had a really hard time this quarter..."
  • Make sure they understand: the real reasons for your less-than-stellar report card. Let them know you wanted achieve more but some subjects were really tough for you. Assure them you'll do better next time by getting help and managing your time well. If your parents have high expectations, explain that grades aren't the only measure of how brilliant a student is.
  • Don't say: "I don't need high grades. School is so useless anyway!"

5. STAYING OUT LATE

  • Start with: "There's an event I have to attend this weekend...."
  • Make sure they understand: the nature of the event you're attending. It's normal for parents to be protective, that's why they may get apprehensive when you ask permission to stay out late or to extend your curfew. The best approach is to let them know who you'll be with, what time you'll go home, and who will give a ride home. It will also help if you ask permission days in advance and not on short notice.
  • Don't say: "Everyone else is going. I don't want to be stuck inside this house forever!"

6. HAVING A BOYFRIEND

  • Start with: "I've know this guy for quite some time and...."
  • Make sure they understand: that you are mature and responsible enough to enter a relationship. Be truthful about your special relationship with your guy. When asking for their consent, honesty is essential because it builds trust. Tell them you will be careful in every situation because you value their trust. If they say no because you're too young, understand that you're parents are only after your best interest.
  • Don't say: "I'm old enough to decide when to have a boyfriend."

7. STARTING A BUSINESS

  • Start with: "There's something cool I want to try out and I need your opinion."
  • Make sure they understand: that you want to improve yourself and learn more. Make it clear your parents that did did sufficient research and that you made the necessary preparations for your business to be successful. They'll surely be proud of your first-hand attempt at independence!
  • Don't say: "You're not providing well enough so I want to start my own business."

8. YOUR HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

  • Start with: "I inspire a lot of people because i excel in what I'm passionate about."
  • Make sure they understand: how reaching for your goal boosts your self-esteem. Show your gratitude for their continued support if, on the other hand, you parents are stopping you from pursuing your passions, admit that you feel pressured because you want to follow your heart but want to gain their approval as well.
  • Don't say: "You never let me do anything I want - that's why I feel like a failure."

9. SERIOUS PROBLEMS

  • Start with: "I need your help."
  • Make sure they understand: how much your need their support. If you've commited a major violation in school, you're being abused, or you think you're pregnants, the guidance of you parent is highly important. They've been through teen life and they have the gift of hindsight. Confess that you made some mistakes and you're willing to start over. Stop them from worrying by picking the right friends and changing your priorities.
  • Don't say: "This happened to me because you always took me for granted."

The 5 Commandments of Good Dialogue

In order to make your conversation more meaningful, you must follow this guide so that it will lead to peaceful conversation. Who knows, you might get what you want to accomplish by juatt following this steps...

  1. Pick a good time to talk

  2. Refrain from talking in an argumentative tone.

  3. Avoid "You never" or "You Always" statements.

  4. Pay attention to your nonverbal actions.

  5. Repect begets Respect.


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