ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice»
  • Parenting Advice & Tips

Parenting Tips: How to be Good Parents for Multiple Children

Updated on March 19, 2013

Kids Smiling

Having two kids creates photos like this
Having two kids creates photos like this | Source

Raising Kids

For many people their lives aren’t quite complete unless they start a family. Naturally there are plenty of adults that do not desire to have children but, given the annual increase in our population, there are more people having kids than not.

Having children has always presented me with questions that I never have fully answered, even though I have two kids of my own. Before any inappropriate thoughts surface let me clarify that my interest isn’t with how kids come along but more with them once they are born.

We have all probably joked about how some people shouldn’t have children. It could be because they display no parenting abilities or haven’t completely grown up themselves; this is what has always intrigued me. We are required to get licenses for just about everything that we do in our lives but having children, possibly the most important thing that we can do in our lives, requires no such licensing.

I’m certainly not advocating some agency being formed to regulate the reproduction of our societies but, the fact that literally anyone can try to have kids, shows that raising them is a job we should all have an idea how to do.

Parent Training

My wife and I were pretty young parents and we have done reasonably well in my opinion. It wasn’t always easy but we learned from our mistakes and both of our kids are still alive so we did something right all of these years.

As I mentioned earlier licenses are everywhere and there are tests and lessons on how to do these things properly; we all took driving lessons before we could drive. With the exception of some high schools having education classes geared towards the birds and the bees there isn’t much training for parents out there. For many would be parents they rely heavily on feedback from other parents.

Advice for Parents

I have a friend who had a daughter a couple of years ago, the first child for him and his wife. One day he called me asking for advice as his wife was in her final trimester. My advice was to read all of the books that he could find about becoming a parent. I also suggested that he quiz their parents and any siblings who have kids.

I could tell that he was receiving and processing the important information I was sharing but I had one more bit of advice and it completely caught him off guard.

I don’t think he was anticipating me concluding my lecture with the news that all of the reading, research and advice he would receive would be completely worthless when his daughter was born.

Parenting Support

Despite what I said the best support you can get as a new parent is from other parents. Of course every child is different but diapers and bath's are pretty standard things that apply to all babies.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to your support group to get assistance if you are struggling with something. Most parents will be very supportive, why do you think parents don’t get too upset when someone else’s child is acting up in public? For one we are sympathetic to the struggle but we are also glad that we aren’t the one trying to calm junior down.

Positive Discipline

Do you focus on positive discipline techniques when reprimanding your children?

See results

Multiple Kids

Where things get even more interesting is when there are multiple children involved. Parenting is a tough enough job but for each child that is added to your family the challenges multiply.

My wife and I joke when families of one child complain how busy or crazy their lives are. With our two kids things can certainly be hectic at our house so we look at these one child families and chuckle since we have more than one to deal with. Naturally I’m sure families with three kids look at us with the same thoughts that we do for the single child households.

The biggest thing we have to deal with our two kids is when they get into arguments, I think them both being teenagers emphasizes the arguments; one being a female can’t help either.

We learned a long time ago that it is critical to make sure that both of them know that we are truly interested in hearing their side of the story when a conflict happens. This thought process doesn’t stop the “you like he/she more” comments but it really is the best way to handle the situation.

If our kids are anything like the majority of youngsters out there then I believe the respect shown them will go a long way. Sometimes our youth can feel misunderstood or not respected and it can cause tension in a family. When you have multiple children these feelings get magnified and become more of a problem because single child families don’t have to experience sibling conflict.

For us the key to dealing with our kids is to treat them as we would like to be treated. Sure we lose our cool and get upset at them but we always talk about it later. My wife and I both think that communication with them is crucial and we always try to talk about anything that is going on in our lives.

This communication can be easier said than done, especially with meals around a dinner table not as common as it used to be even ten years ago; all of the social media and cellphones aren’t helping either. It is probably a good idea to set aside family time every evening where cell phones are not allowed and parents, this means you too. Set that good example and they will be more inclined to follow your lead.

For us having one child was never an option so having multiple children is exactly what we signed up for; every day is different and we do enjoy it, even with their young adult lives becoming busier by the day. We just take the bumps in stride as a family and go after anything that needs to be done. Fortunately our kids have always been OK with us in public, I know other families where this isn’t the case. As long as we continue to treat them with mutual respect, I’m sure things will continue to be just fine.

How to be Good Parents

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • saccovictor profile image

      Seth Victor 4 years ago from Southfield, MI

      Nice to meet you all.. First opal i would like to thanks for adjkp25 because finally i got these blog. I really like small-small kids and i really love them. And i hope you will no problem for your children... Thanks..

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      torrilynn - Nice to meet you as well, I'm glad you found the article useful. I know we had some trial and error after our second was born but we figured it out pretty good in my opinion. Thanks for reading and commenting.

    • torrilynn profile image

      torrilynn 4 years ago

      @adjkp25 hello nice to meet you first off and I would like to say i really did enjoy your hub. it was straightforward and gets to the point. im sure this is very helpful for any first time parents or for parents in general. Voted up and shared !

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      Marcy - Thanks, if our on the job training can help others then I'm all for it!

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

      Good solid advice, and very important points about how to treat our children as individuals in every way. Great hub!

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      teaches12345 - It can be tough sometimes but the rewards do outweigh the difficulties. Getting support can be what helps some parents maintain their sanity. Thanks for commenting.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      Raising multiple kids is a challenge for parents, but using your ideas will help them through the rough waters. Respecting your child does promote good character and I love your tips on reaching out to others for support. We need those people to help us out once in awhile.

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      MsDora - I wish I could take more credit but my wife is the glue that keeps us all together. I appreciate the vote and the comment.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      I agree that you and your wife are doing a fine job. Thanks for sharing from your experience. Voted Up.

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      agapsikap - Five kids? That's a bit too much for me to handle. I'm perfectly fine with you linking to one of mine. Thanks for taking the time to read this and voting.

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      gmwilliams - So true that each child has their own needs and parents have to adjust to those needs accordingly. Thanks for commenting and voting.

    • adjkp25 profile image
      Author

      David 4 years ago from Northern California

      twoseven - Thanks for commenting and I'm glad I'm not the only one to see the value of mutual respect.

    • agapsikap profile image

      agapsikap 4 years ago from Philippines

      Hmmmm.... Imagine if you have five kids, haha. Hi! adjkp25, is it okay if in the future I will link one of my hub related to parenting tips here with yours? Thanks for sharing. Voted up.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      Enlightening article. When parents have multiple children, they must cultivate fairness, reasonableness, logic, and love when interfacing with their children. Also each child's ability and talent must be taken into consideration, encouraged, and nurtured. Again, great article, voted up.

    • twoseven profile image

      twoseven 4 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

      I agree that mutual respect is key! Great hub and great to see a father writing about parenting. Keep it up!