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Raising terrific kids!!!

Updated on October 4, 2010

Introduction

This is my first hub and I want to dedicate it to my 4 kids who are the reason I´m writing here. To introduce myself I will tell you that i´m a mother of for kids: my 9 years old son, my 7 years old daughter and my 5 years old twins. It is really hard for me to raise so many kids because I am always trying to be perfect and trying to make everything the perfect way so I get frustrated when I´m not able to do it. I live far away from my parents and sisters, my whole family lives between South and North America and I am not able to run to them whenever I need help our some advice or when i feel desperate. My husband is a lucky man and has part of his family close to him, so even when I dont, have my own family i have his.

I decided to write this hub when I got my first question from a hubber: Raising kids- 5 best tips. I got a brainstorm and choose my 5 best tips. i hope you like them!!!

Our Family!!!!

Do not try to be the perfect family

The perfect family does not exist, not even the perfect parent. Sometimes we imagine us being one way and realize that we are actually very different than what we expected. This sometimes makes me angry because It makes me belive that I am not on the right track. It took time for me to understand that nobody is perfect, it was a hard time specially when you consider you have perfect parents and you want to be like them.

What I can tell you is that all you have to do is show your kids how much you love them and make them feel safe with you. Tell them that they can count on you and that even when you are not perfect you will do your best.

Listen, talk and teach instead of punishing

Using positive discipling is the best way to teach kids. But actually is really hard to do. I have 4 kids and one of the most difficult tasks for me (I guess for many parents) is to talk to them and try to reason with them, to let them realize what they have done and the consecuences of choosing the wrong way. I also believe that kids are really intelligent and actually know what they have to do.

Asking for advice and reading articles about raising kids I got some ideas:

- Ask them about their feelings, and the reasons of their actions.

- Express your own feelings, let them know if you approve or not their actions.

-Teach them how to solve problems, let them know they have to choose the right choice.

- When necesary take action, don´t melt down. Let them know who set the rules.

 

Sibling Harmony

 This is a hard issue, specially for me beacuse my kids are always fighting for almost everything. I read thas this is a fact, siblings almost always fight, this is not right but for them is a way to find out how far they can go, test their limits and learn to negotiate. 

To tell you the truth, is really hard to see how your kids have arguments almost all the time, yell at the other and even hit their siblings. The funny thing here is that after a few minutes they love each other again. I heard that in this situations you have to be specific about which behavior is allowed and which not . Believe me, I´m stil having a hard time with this.

Another important thing is to avoid comparing kids, each one is different and unique, with their goods and bads. Even when you raise them the same way, with the same rules, you will find out that they are never going to be the same. Comparing kids helps increase siblings rivality.

Something I am proud at is that my parents where always fair with us, my sisters and i had never the feeling that they love one more than the other.  I guess my husband and I are following them and being fair with our kids.

What I like about them is that they protect each other, specially my son who believes he is a little daddy for his sisters.  The other day he almost make me cry, when he told me: "Mom, I am big enough to take care of my sisters when you go to work".  I said: "Well thanks but you are not big enough yet, besides why do you want to take care of the?" And he said: "Because I dont want you to spend your money on babysitters if i can help you save some money"  That comment showed me that even when thay fight they care about each aother and about me too!!

 

My Terrific Kids!!!

You make the rules

Something I found out is that when different people take care of your kids or just interact with them, it turns hard for them to follow your rules  So the important thing here is to talk with your couple, family, babisitters and friends about those rules and that they have to stick to them. This will help to minimize posible conflicts.

Some rules are related to bedtime, foodtime, manners, TV time, and many others.  I understand that we all are different and that is going to be hard to follow the rules when they don´t think they are fair.  If it is necesary put in writing so they all can respect them

Have time for yourself

 Raising kids is always hard, no matter if you have easygoing kids or troublemakers.  Kids do not come with a guide to teach you how to deal with them. Being a parent is a fulltime job that as any job needs a time out.  I used to feel guilty about this issue, because sometimes I just wanted to be alone or to wake up late in the morning or to have no responsabilities for one day.  This is almost imposible, but at least you can try to give yourself a break. We are not machines, we need some rest, not only physical but also emotional.

Don´t you ever think that you are not a loving parent just because you need your space.  You in fact have to take care of yourself too!!!! How can you take good care of your kid when you are tired and stressed out? This will not work. When my kids are at school, my husband and I sometimes take a time to go out and walk, or go to a restaurant  or just seat down and chat!!! Do not be afraid of leaving your kids to go out and have sometime for yourself, just look for the right person to take care of your kids, someone responsable and that you can trust....

Good Luck Raising Terrific Kids!!!

 

 

Comments

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    • MarieAlice profile image
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      MarieAlice 5 years ago from Peru

      Thank you Sunshine625!!! is always nice to receive comments from you!!

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Excellent advice and awesome first hub! :)

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 6 years ago from Peru

      THANKS RAGHAVRATHI FOR YOUR COMMENT, SO GLAD YOU FIND MY HUB USEFUL...

    • raghavrathi profile image

      Raghav Rathi 6 years ago from Dehradun, Uttarakhand, India.

      5 extremely useful tips...

      Great hub.

      Thanks for sharing...

      P.S. Your kids ARE very cute!!! :)

      cheers,

      Have a nice day,

      Raghav.

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Winsome, thanks for your opinion I really appreciate it!!! And what you said about our kids teaching us is absolutely right!!! Every single day, they surprise me with something new that help me be a better person...

    • Winsome profile image

      Winsome 7 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

      Greetings MarieAlice, it is very clear that you have the heart of a great parent. Your children are beautiful and happy and the two of you holding them and hugging them lets them know they are terrific kids. I have been privileged to raise four fabulous children and they have taught me as much as I have taught them. Since you asked for our advice, you might enjoy my articles on How to Play and the "When" series. "Fanning the Flames" is good for the parents' relationship.

      Best to you and thank you for sharing your wonderful family with us. =:)

    • MarieAlice profile image
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      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Thank Ivonne, I guess to as me are a fulltime mom!!

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      Ivonne 7 years ago

      Amiga...I just love it!

      Very good tips...I have two myself, Ian is 5 and Jayden is two...too much.

    • MarieAlice profile image
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      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Dear Seattlecnpb as I say it is always nice to share what you know with others, with this hub I try to express the way I feel about being a mom. Most of the time is really hard, but it brings rewards!!!

    • profile image

      Seattlecnpb 7 years ago

      Dear Marie Alice, I would like to thank you for taking the time to write these great hubs! I love the way you express yourself and how are you sharing the great experience of being a mom. In the near future I am planning on becoming a mommy too and I think these hubs will be of great help. Please keep us updated of your knowledge, that way I will learn how to deal with all kinds of situations to make our life journey a learning experience. Hope to hear from you soon.

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Dear Karanda, you are right!!! I´m a really busy woman trying to deal with my job as a mom and with my job as a hostess. I know is hard to raise kids and even when I´m not perfect I try to show them I love and care about them. Thanks for reading my hub, really appreciate it!!!

    • Karanda profile image

      Karen Wilton 7 years ago from Australia

      MarieAlice you must have the busiest day of any woman I know yet you strive for the perfect family. It seems to me the perfect family already exists at your place. A mother who takes time to listen, is prepared to lay down the rules and lets her children know how much she loves them are lucky children indeed. Thank you for sharing your family with us, they are gorgeous.

    • MarieAlice profile image
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      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Thanks Tia Liz for supporting me... hope you enjoy my article...

    • profile image

      TIA LIZ 7 years ago

      ME SIENTO ORGULLOSA DE TENER UNA SOBRINA QUE ES UNA SUPER MAMA! TE QUIERE LIZ

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Dear Wendy: I,m glad I made you happy with my hub, and for sure I will keep writing...

      Dear Sirenita: Thanks for your blessings and in fact raising kids is really hard by ir worth it!!!

      monica and Deborah: Thank you again for enjoying my hub and I am really happy you liked my tips.

      dear Robin: I am glad that you are now my fan, and yes I have redhaired twins and as soon as I enter to your profile I saw your cutie redhaired girl, I,m glad to be now part of this community and hope to have your advices!!!

    • Robin profile image

      Robin Edmondson 7 years ago from San Francisco

      Congratulations on your first Hub! You gave some great information. It looks like you have redheaded twins! One of our three daughters is a red head, too. ;) The sibling harmony section really stuck out for me. I try to tell my girls that they always have to protect one another and that they will always be best friends. My sister is my best friend, so I use her a lot in my examples. I look forward to reading more of your Hubs in the future!

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      Debora ahumada Ponce  7 years ago

      Congratulations!! Your article is very useful, even though im not a mother yet, it shows me a glince of what means to raise childs. Continúe writing you have "that" , that makes you keep reading till the end!!! Congrats again!!!

    • profile image

      monica  7 years ago

      CONGRATULATIONS PRIMINI !THIS IS WONDERFULL,LOVE YOU.

    • profile image

      Sirenita 7 years ago

      Congratulations for your hub,I know that taking care of 5 chilcren is difficult, more when both parents are working, the best that you have to do is to be patient with them and understand how difficult is to deal with a young family. Blessings to your home and keep writting more hubs.

    • profile image

      WENDY 7 years ago

      YOU ARE THE BEST!I LOVE IT!!!YOU MADE ME SO HAPPY TODAY WHEN I READ YOUR HUG!!PLEASE DONT STOP WRITTING!!

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Dear Ruth Moussavi: Thank you for reading my hub, I really appreciate you showing this to your friends and sharing my tips with others. I am also waiting for those tips you can give me!!!!!!!!!!

      Dear Maria Elena: Thanks for reading my first hub and thank you for being proud of me!!!

      Dear Maria Lourdes: I like the advice about patience while raising kids, this is not always esay to reach but I do my best effort!!!

    • profile image

      lou 7 years ago

      Dear Marie Alice you have a great family!! Even though I am not a mom yet, I might give you an advice: be patient, it´s hard, but very important because your wonderfull kids are growing and learning each day, every single minute and you are their reference. They must feel that you really love them and understand their feelings, fears, frustrations,playfulness, doubts, etc.

      Big hug for you and your whole family!

    • profile image

      maria elena cardenas palma 7 years ago

      ver proud off you!! hope you keep writting. maybe you can write the next BEST SELLER about raising terrific kids!! love you!!

    • profile image

      Ruth Moussavi 7 years ago

      I've read your hub, thank you so much for sharing these lovely and interesting information, I thought that will be nice and helpful to share it with my friends who actually have children around the same age. My children have grown already and are adults, but I would like to share my experiences with you on the future. Blessings.

    • MarieAlice profile image
      Author

      MarieAlice 7 years ago from Peru

      Princesa: thank you very much for your comment. Is really hard raising kids on your own, but for what i saw in your hubs you are doing it great!!!

      RebekahELLE: thank you for taking time to read my first hub, I did it with all my love... i will love to receive some advices because they are always welcome!!!

    • rebekahELLE profile image

      rebekahELLE 7 years ago from Tampa Bay

      what a wonderful first hub! I love your 5 tips and they are 5 super tips. Parenting is not easy, but so rewarding when you see your children growing and learning. I love what your son said about helping to take care of his sisters. I agree with you also that children are much more intelligent than we often think. Thanks for sharing your parenting tips with us!

      best to you and your family.

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 7 years ago from France

      Very good advice. Taking time for yourself when you have young children is not always easy, but like you say it is very important. Like you I am away from my family and I understand how difficult it is sometimes to deal with a young family when you are on your own.

      Good luck, and all the best!