- Family and Parenting
Resentment: From the Children's Perspective
For the Sake of the Children
Falling in love isn't something brought on by by choice but by chance. It takes a lot of work to stay in love, and once you fall out of that love it is by pure choice.
Working towards keeping that love is important because when it began it was new, fresh and unyielding. At the time you had no doubt it would last a lifetime, so you dived into it, and got married with the desire of it lasting a lifetime. Through circumstances however, those feelings can change at the blink of an eye.
You begin to analyze all that brought you to the point of ending things. It may have been minor or drastic, but now you are here. The questions keep popping into mind. Some you may be able to answer yourself, yet others need to be answered by others who may have been in your shoes at one point in their lives.
It isn't shameful to seek outside help if you want to make this relationship succeed. After all all pros and con's must be factored in in order to assist you in making the right decision, especially if there are children involved.
Breaking up is never truly easy. Years may have already been vested, but the choice is yours nevertheless. Only thing to be mindful of is who will be hurt when it's all said and done. As a parent you owe it to the children to have the talk as a unit. Having the talk separately can bring on insecurities in a child and that alone can be traumatizing.
Placing the children's needs first...
Painfully, there are many couples who choose to break- up without even considering what the break-up does to the child. Some may have built up resentment towards the break-up themselves and so the child is left confused and inevitably pick up on their parents feelings and lash out themselves.
As a unit you can ensure the child understands they are not at fault for the break-up. If they are young they may not be able to understand but if at an comprehensive age they truly can. After the break-up though both parents must ensure the children spend as much time with the now absent parent as possible, so they never feel insecure or unloved.
Face it sometimes parents tend to forget how great it was before the break-up. When both parents spent quality time with the children, and you and your children were absolutely happy. Therefore, breaking up should never play a factor when determining the amount of time shared with your children.
If you can no longer sustain or put your differences aside for the children that is a true shame, but hopefully if reading this and you are in a similar situation as the one noted here you can stp and think, for once they grow up resentment will keep them from contacting you, and then you will truly regret the petiness that may have caused it, so therefore, please. "Place the Children First."