- Family and Parenting»
She's At That Age
She is my oldest daughter and is 16 ½ years old, if you have read any of my hubs I have written in the past or my questions you would see that I have written about her a lot! It’s not because she’s my favorite child or anything but maybe because she amazes me and shocks me at the same time that I find her a little more interesting, if that makes any sense!
Well lately she seems to be in need of a boyfriend but she doesn’t like any boys at her school she says they are all ugly. So one day actually the day of her little brother’s birthday party she invites a few friends, which is okay with me I have no problem with her having friends over our home (I prefer this rather than her go over her friends’ houses). Any how I noticed that she is holding hands with one of the boys and they both had monkey bites on their necks (omg). I never heard of this guy before and all of sudden she has these things on her neck and I’m like oh hell no. Other than that the kid was respectful and helpful and all but I already had a strike against him because of the suck marks on both of their necks. The only thing that I liked about this kid was that he lived a few cities away about 35 miles away and he has no steel on wheels, therefore I wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him around too often if at all. So I guess out of my sight out of my mind!
A few people at my son’s birthday party had negative things to say about the kid, that they saw; he was holding a can of beer, they overheard he was 20 years old (which she swore he was 17 years old), and he had one of those vapor cigarettes. I caught them alone in her room, kissing. I don’t know what my kid was thinking but she knows how I am and what’s not allowed but she obviously didn’t care that day or she thought I was so occupied with the party that I wouldn’t notice or care about what she was doing! I told her later that night that I wasn’t happy with the way she was acting with that boy and it didn’t give him a good first impression either.
Few months go by and they are still talking on the phone and keeping in contact via Facebook. Well she was grounded for a month from her phone and from doing anything or going anywhere for something else she did which is a whole other story. Thus, they hardly had any contact for that one month but after that they started talking every day and what not. One day she handed the phone to me and said here mom talk to my boyfriend say hi! I hesitated but I then I said hi. Then I asked, "how are you?” He replied oh I’m okay well not really my friend just recently committed suicide and I said oh I’m sorry to hear that how old was he? He then says oh my age, 19 years old. I guess he forgot they lied to me and told me he was 17 years old but I didn’t say anything about it.
Just two weeks ago after church that is half ways to his house I decided to take her to see him. I was thinking you know maybe I can get to know this guy and see how his home life was. Well to make a long story short I guess he thought I was going to drop off my daughter. When I told him sorry I am not going to do that but I’ll take you guys to the park or something and we can just hang out for a while, he said he couldn’t he had to stay home and help clean. So we all just sat there in my car in awkward silence I was wondering if he was going to at least invite us in for a bit since it was hot and we drove all that way. But he didn’t even after my daughter hinted it to him.
A week later after church, my daughter took it upon herself without even asking me to ask her cousin my god daughter that’s 18 years old to take her to go see her boyfriend! I said sorry I don’t think so and she was so upset that she actually started to cry and lashed out at me and told me to leave her the hell alone. I was really upset and hurt that she could act like that with me over some guy that she doesn’t even really know other than just talking on the phone and chatting on line. Moreover we were not on speaking terms because she snapped on me and I snapped back because I really don’t think its right for her to speak to me the way she was because I am her mother and I love her. A few days later she started to speak to me and told me that it’s not fair and why can’t she go see him and that they are not going to do anything wrong and why don’t I trust her?
Finally I laid it on her; first of all the first time I ever met him both of you had those nasty bite marks on your necks, secondly you’re not allowed to have any boyfriends in your room alone with the door shut and most of all you two lied to me and said he was 17 years old when in fact he is 19 years old. She still try to lie and say he wasn’t 19 and I said don’t even say anything because he ratted himself out when you made me talk to him on the phone! Furthermore I take you to go see him and he didn’t want me there and wanted me to drop you off when the whole point was for me to get to know him, since you say you know him and I don’t so I shouldn’t judge him!!
Her through my eyes
oh my goodness
Sorry my lovely teenager who is only 16 years old I love you and I am going to protect you as much as I can, I know I can’t shield you from the world but I will be a loving parent. I will even go through you treating me mean and hating me if it keeps you from getting hurt in the long run but don’t push it to far because I’m not going to take you being disrespectful towards me, especially over some guy. Honestly I don’t know why she was so upset about it when she said she was trying to break up with him a few days before. Well I guess she did end up breaking up with him and it is my entire fault. Now she posts statuses on Facebook about how she was so happy and now she’s not and now she has to start all over again, this girl just really bugs me that she thinks this way when I thought I showed her she was more than that.
Overall I hope she realizes that I love her and that I will never approve of her dating a guy who is over 18 years old as long as she is under age. Also I will not approve of a guy who has nothing going for himself that dropped out of high school and that hangs out all day smoking marijuana. More so I will not let her go hang out at some guys house that I don’t know beyond just his first name and I don’t know where he lives or his living situation.
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