Stay at Home Mom or Working Mom

This is a great question to ask but not an easy question to answer. There are benefits to both sides and a debate that has been going on for quite some time; the stay-at-home moms versus the working mother. There are of course two sides to this question. But the ultimate answer is what is best for that specific family. Because simply put there is nothing wrong with a woman staying home with her children or for a woman going back to work.

I was raised by two working parents and went to daycare for most of my childhood. I feel that I came out just fine and had some great experiences that I remember as well. This did not make me love my parents any less because they went to work. In fact I remember spending a great deal of time with my father simply because he went to work at a later time than my mother but at the same time the experiences that I had with my mother were just as great and memorable simply because she made them that way. What I feel is most important is the time that you spend with your children whether or not you are at home with them or whether you choose to go back to work. This is why it is important to choose what works best for your family specifically.

When I found out that I was pregnant I had planned to go back to work as soon as I could, for me that was the best solution for me and my family. However, shortly after finding out that I was pregnant I found out that I was having triplets and what was once the best idea for my family completely changed. Having triplets for my family meant that the best scenario would be for me to stay home with the children. Because it was a very difficult transition going from From Career Woman to Stay at Home Mom I decided to do a subtle twist and chose to be a combination of both therefore I am a work-at-home mom. This way I get the benefits of working fulltime and being home with my children.

For some families there are various deviations from these two choices. I have friends in many different situations; situations where the mother is a stay at home mom, where the father is a stay at home dad, where the mother works a few days a week, where the mother works from home part time, where the mother works from home full time and finally where the mother went back to work outside of the home. Some families have the luxury of having daycare at their workplace, others where a family member is able to watch the kids while the mother works and so many other variations. So the decision is not so necessarily cut and dry and it may be that you do not have to choose one or the other.

The factors that I think that the family should consider when making this decision are:

1. The emotional factors – How the father and mother feel emotionally about staying home or going back to work.

2. The financial factors – Can the family afford for the mother to stay home with the children (in some cases it is financially smarter for the father to stay home with the kids)? Can the family afford for the mother to go back to work with the cost of daycare?

3. The alternatives – Is it possible for the mother to work from home? Is it possible for the mother to work part time? Are there other solutions that the family can utilize?

4. What works best – What is the best scenario for your family all around, regardless of what others think.

5. Being flexible – If the situation does not work for you, understand that you can make changes. If you become a working mother or a stay at home mother and you are not happy or it does not suit your needs you can make changes; these decisions do not have to be permanent especially if they do not work for you and your family.

There are numerous solutions out there; it’s important to find what works best for you and your family. Not every situation is cut and dry and nothing is more important than doing what is right for your family regardless of what the other side of the argument presents. There will always be a battle between stay at home moms and working moms but neither side is really right or wrong. The most important thing to remember as a mother or parent is that as long as you are involved with your children and are doing what is best for your family you are doing what is right.