- Family and Parenting»
Remember this My Son...
The end of another day........... (sigh)
Time to reflect.. What was that all about, I ask myself... another typical day with my fifteen year old son. Yes I know it is a difficult time for him... hormones flying, no longer a child but not yet a man... but come on!
Why is everything so difficult with children of this age?
They speak in a totally different language, one I would associate with the animal world, grunts and moans...
Please tidy your room ;Reply, ‘ huuhhhmhmm’
Are you hungry? Reply; naaaaaahh
What does that mean.... all vocals are from the back of the throat, with the lips sealed shut!
And everything is in a minute.
Hang your clothes up -............ In a minute.
Put your cup in the sink-.... in a minute..
You need to go to sleep now, school in the morning........... In a minute.....
The bus is coming.....In a minute....TOO LATE, YOU MISSED IT!!
Well, at that age they do seem to have all the time in the world.
And the temper tantrums, terrible twos have has nothing on terrifying teenagers.
They don’t seem to be able to communicate unless the voice is raised, the brow is creased and the fists are clenched.
Why? When there is no-one else in the house. Not an indication of aggression anywhere, and all of a sudden ‘Whooooooosh’ it’s World War 94.
Topic of argument..... the usual, tidying bedroom, sleep time, having a shower...that’s another thing, it’s not as though we live in the Sahara Dessert, there’s plenty of hot water and soap, why don’t they like using them.
Is it cool to smell and look dirty?
But joking aside, the one thing that concerns and saddens me the most is the total lack of respect that many teenagers seem to have. My son included most of the time. I am not saying that all teenagers behave in the same way; the differences can be experienced in many families where all the children have been raised in the same way, with a loving mother and father. All taught morals and family values and above all taught to respect everyone as an equal.
One can have high moral values, be kind and gentle mannered.
Another more volatile, very bright, quick thinking and outspoken
And yet another so different, can be sullen, rude, loud aggressive. Why is this? Many would blame the home environment, but how can that be when all were raised in exactly the same way...
Many teenagers seem to walk around assuming that their parents are in a fight with them. They have a huge chip on their shoulder that they are waiting to have knocked off, so when their parents do not agree with them they are only too willing to have a go, because mum or dad ‘started it ‘But did you know that People who fight with each other still care what the other person thinks, the time to worry is when everyone has given up and is no longer communicating.
Unfortunately many do not realise their mistakes until later, sometimes too late.
Things can get so bad that all contact between the teenager and parents are severed... these instances are really heartbreaking.
I feel that what as parents we must remember is, there are more influences on a child’s life than his or her parents, and we inevitably always hurt the ones we are closest to.
So what I’m really saying to all those angry teenagers out there, is think before you speak, before you raise your voice in anger, before you throw insults to the rooftops, before the hurt and the tears become too much to bare. You may see your parents as your sworn enemy but if you are still arguing with them, it is because you still care, you still love each other, and it is not too late to repair what damage has been caused.
I would like to share with you the lyrics of a song....
"Respect, admiration and trust equals love." Hal Hartley
our little boy came up to his mom
In the kitchen this evenin' while she was fixin' supper
And he handed her a piece of paper he'd been writin' on
And after wipin' her hands on her apron
She read it, and this is what it said.
For mowin' the lawn, five dollars
For makin' my own bed this week, one dollar
And for goin' to the store, fifty cents
An' playin' with little brother while you went shoppin', twenty-five cents.
Takin' out the trash, one dollar
Gettin' a good report card, five dollars
And for rakin' the yard, two dollars
Total owed, fourteen seventy-five.
Well, as mom looked at him standin' there expectantly
And I could see the mem'ries flashing through her mind
And so she picked up the pen, and turnin' the paper over
This is what she wrote.
For the nine months I carried you growing inside me, no charge
For the nights I've sat up with you
Doctored you, and prayed for you, no charge
For the time and the tears
That you've cost through the years, there's no charge
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love is no charge.
For the nights filled with dread
and all the worries ahead, no charge
For advice and the knowledge
And the cost of your college, no charge
For the toys, food and clothes and even for wipin' your nose
There's no charge, son
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love is, no charge.
Well, when he finished readin'
He had great big old tears in his eyes
And he looked up at her standing there and said
Mama, I sure do love you
Then he took the pen,
And in great big letters
He wrotePAID IN FULL.
Lord knows when you add it all up
The cost of real love is, no charge...
the cost of real love...
From Me to you My SON...
So that next time you are feeling angry ..... remember these words.
Memories of another time still come
To me and fill my mind, with thoughts
Of you when you were young. I lie awake
‘Till the morning sun comes creeping
Through my window shade, as I dwell upon
Mistakes I've made. What I would give to
Go back in time and feel you’re little
Hand in mine. To cherish each fast and
Fleeting day. To hold you close and kiss
Away, each pain that life will have in
Store and try to give you so much more.
You are part and will always be, imbedded in the soul of me. While I'm
Here, I want to say, that I've loved you
Each and every day and when my time on
Earth is gone. The privilege was mine to have been your Mom.
A borrowed tribute to my dearest sons ....