- Family and Parenting
Teen Tips About Dating and Sex
Being a Teenager
Welcome to the in-between time of your life, where nobody understands you and life is unfair!
Your emotions are sometimes out of control, hormones are playing games with you and your friends are doing things that you are not allowed to do.
Peer pressure and you against the world is what it feels like to be a teenager.
Don't worry because things as a teen will get better and you will realise that this is the best time of your life.
It is difficult to understand now but you will once the hormones are on the right track, spots disappear and you can learn to communicate with your parents about what you would like to do and how you feel.
School can be difficult and as you get to the final stages, it gets harder as you are expected to achieve great things and you start to notice that friends are all wanting different things and going different ways. This is the time of your life where you will find that there are many choices and decisions to be made that could affect your entire future.
As a teenager from about 12 onwards you start to notice the opposite sex. Many of you don't know how to communicate with them and for most of you, the fear of approaching the person you like is what stops you from asking them out and watching your friend do it!
Thirteen is too young to date but group hangs are fun and this is where you and all your friends go out with members of the opposite sex to movies, skating or the beach. There is no pressure of asking the girls or guys to date and you can just go out and have fun. While you are doing this keeping your eye out on that girl or guy you like might have future benefits as you get to see them as they truly are around others.
From fourteen to sixteen it is an akward age because you are thinking like an adult in some ways but you are not there yet and you do not fit in with the under fourteens because they don't act the way that you do. This is what some of us call the "tween" stage because you are in-between the adult stage.
All teenagers feel the same way that you do and yes your parents feel like the enemy because they want what is best for you and sometimes you just don't see it. Always remember that they have been where you are and they have the knowledge to read others well. If they say a certain person is no good for you, they can see what you can't just yet and you will find that most of the time they are right.
They have also been around for longer than you and times have changed since they were teenagers with the dangers in nightclubs and being out on the streets. Saying no to certain places has it's reasons I am certain.
Choose your friends carefully and select a girl or guy that is on the same level as you. This means that if you do not want to drink or take drugs than avoid those types of people and avoid girls or guys that want to go to clubs if you are not a clubber.
You have a someone in mind and you like them a lot and think that they like you too but you are too afraid to ask them out because you are afraid or you do not know how to go about doing it.
Well it is simple. Just go up to them and ASK them out! The worst thing that could happen is that they say no but usually the answer is yes.
If you can't go up to them then you are no ready to date yet.
Once you have found the courage to ask the girl out, you need to find a great place to go.
For the girls, it is up to the guy to ask you out but you can show signs that you are interested.
Dating in your teens should be light-hearted and not too serious because you have your whole life ahead of you and a future to work at. Before you jump into a serious relationship remember that your freedom is important!
What to do on Your Date.
Firstly, ensure that you know the person well enough to go out with and let people know where you will be. Dating someone your own age is a god idea as you are on the same level mentally and physically. Going out with the college guy is just going to cause you heart-ache and trouble.
On your first date, keep it casual which means that you should be going somewhere where you can both feel relaxed and able to communicate. This way you will get to see what the other person is like and if you would want to spend more time with them.
Don't overdo the make- up because there is nothing worse than seeing a teenager pile on the make - up. Keep your make - up natural so that you look like you, just emphasizing the good parts. Try to avoid dressing differently to the way you usually do because stayong true to yourself is important for the guy to understand that you have standards, you are who you are and that he can take it or leave it.
Have fun on your date, listen, talk and laugh!
Don't overstay your welcome and keep the date going long enough to get information about your date and keep him interested.
A kiss may be acceptable but see how it goes. Go with your instinct!
For the guys, keep your hormones at bay and don't try anything crazy!
If your girl pulls a move on you than she is doing that with every guy she goes out with and that is not the one you want to take seriously.
Guys like to stall their phone calls and will try to wait for as long as possible to call you again, so before the game playing and guessing starts just simply say if you would like to see each other again after your first date. That way you both know where you stand.
Long Term Dating and Relationships
If your dates have been going well and you both feel respected, happy and comfortable than you will want to continue into a relationship. You should both understand that school is important and it does get difficult to balance friends, school, home life and a relationship. Think very carefully before you get serious.
Also try to keep your relationship light so that you can both experience school with your friends as well as your boyfriend/girlfriend. Keeping it light means avoiding sexual intercourse because deciding to do that can change your life and complicate your relationship. Things get very intense when involving yourself sexually and there are so many things to consider before, that my advice would be to stay clear of it until you are much more mature.
Make time for your friends because if your relationship doesn't work out they will be there for you always.
Give yourself time to study and work hard at school so that you can reap the benefits for your future and ease the pressure by concentrating now.
Your family will always be there for you so take the time to appreciate them too and if you have an opportunity to spend time with your family, don't blow them off for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
A relationship should be light as a feather with room for you both to experience life as teenagers rather than get stuck into a serious relationship where your whole life is consumed by it.
Keep your dates fun and try to make time for everyone.
Should you date for a while and realise that this is not the person for you than break it to them gently but break it to them because leaving someone hanging is awful and unfair. Let them know that you have different interests and you might be too young to want to commit to a serious relationship.
Honesty is th best policy and you can both move on with your lives amicably should that be your choice.
Dating is a choice and you might want to be serious or you might just want to have fun, either way you need to let your date know that in order for the both of you to progress.
Don't Do's For Dating
Girls: Don't go out with a guy just because your friends think you should. See for yourself if he is a guy that you would like to go out with.
Follow your instincts. Girls have esp! So if you have a bad feeling about a guy, you are probably right.
Respect yourself. Guys have raging hormones and in your teens you want to explore but keep in mind that the girls that give in are the ones that will never get to have a decent boyfriend because you will not be respected and you will be treated like the "skank" throughout your school career.
Don't date older guys. A guy your own age is best suited for you because he is on the same level as you mentally. He might seem immature but in the long run he is the best option.
College guys and guys that are much older than you think very differently and all that they want is to lay as many girls as possible before they leave college. They are allowed to drink and do things that you are not allowed to do and this could lead to many problems and complications for you. They expect you to put out and you might not be emotionally ready for that.
Never date a guy that you have not met: Meeting someone on facebook or social networks might be fun but it can be dangerous because the person you are talking to might not be who he appears to be and this could lead to very dangerous circumstances for you. A guy that says that he understands you and what you are going through via a network might just want to prey on you being vulnerable and once you agree to meet, it might be your last meeting. Trafficking can happen so easily and there are many weirdo's out there and yes you might say that "it would never happen to me" but it does happen everday, to many intelligent girls. All it takes is one meeting and you are never seen again!
DON'T DATE FROM THE INTERNET!
Keep dating simple, go out with guys that you know, friends have introduced you to or someone that you have seen at school but do not go out with hot strangers even if it makes you look like the coolest girl in the school.
Don't drink. Girls that get drunk look stupid and easy. It is also dangerous because as a teenager you cannot handle alcohol and this could lead to you doing something that you might regret for the rest of your life! Don't do it, it's not cool.
The coolest people these days are the ones that are strong enough to say no, show their independance and abstain from anything that could be life changing.
Peer pressure. Forget that! Who cares what others think because at the end of the day it is you that has to live with the decisions that you make. Good or bad it is your choice and nobody else has the right to tell you what to do.
Guys: Be respectful. If you really like the girl than you need to respect her and treat her like a lady.
Be a gentleman. Open the door for her, tell her she looks beautiful, pay for the date, offer to carry her books at school and try to avoid burping, farting and drinking. If that is not what she is in to than don't do it.
Don't drink or take drugs. Not only does this destroy your life but do not pressure your date to do anything like that.
Drive safely. If you are old enough to drive than drive safely and don't act like you are part of the "Fast and Furious" because it is not cool and you could hurt the both of you or even get killed. Drive like and adult and act mature enough to look protective.
Don't pressure her. Should you want to pull a move on her and she says no, than respect that and don't get angry just be respectful. If you are looking for a good time and she says no than this is not the girl for you. Remember though that you need to think responsibly when pulling a move and the girl says yes because pregnancy and disease is a reality!
Date girls your own age. You are on the same level as someone your own age and hormones, school and peer pressure is something that you are both going through. Dating a girl that's older or much younger than you will lead to nowhere soon. College girls want you to spend money on them and they also drink which will lead you to do things that you might not be ready for.
Take her somewhere reasonable. If you do not have mega cash than don't take her somewhere that you cannot afford because you need to show your true colours if you want this to last. She might be the type of girl that likes expensive things and has a rich family that you will not be able to keep up with or she might just be a girl that is looking for someone to be real.
This is a HUGE step and you need to think about it very carefully before you decide to do it.
You should be in a fully committed relationship with someone that you know and understand extremely well and obviously someone that you love with all your heart.
Having sex can change your life and your relationship for the better or for the worse!
Before you jump in hormones ablazing, THINK,THINK, THINK!
You should only be making this decision if you have been in a long term relationship and this is the person you can see yourself with for a very long time!
Your age matters because having sex when you are too young can cause complications both mentally and physically.
You should be over 17 because younger is illegal and your mental state is not ready.
You should only be with one partner and your partner should be exclusive to you before you make that decision.
Pregnancy can happen so easily and there is not method of prevention except for abstanance.
Condoms, the pill or anything else is not guaranteed and should you fall pregnant it could destroy your life and your future. It does happen, everyday and changes teenagers lives.
Becoming a mom or a dad is a full time job, huge responsibility and a very expensive process! It adds pressure to your families and obviously you can kiss your Freedom goodbye.
Girls who want to consider going on the pill must understand that it is not good for you and being on it for a long time can effect your health. You also need to know that it takes six months for the pill to become effective so you can't jump into bed and then go on the pill, it has to be planned.
Condoms break, diaphrams are not reliable and the morning after pill is no good.
Should you want to have sex, remember that there is always a possibility of falling pregnant, no matter what protection you use.
Girls also have to note that you will now need to go to a gynaecologist regularly, ensure that you keep extra clean because there might sometimes be discharge caused by sex and never forget to take your pill.
Emotionally the first time that you have sex you will feel like crying and you will be sad. It is painful for some the first time and you do bleed. It is light blood and the reason you feel emotional is because you have just lost your virginity, the feeling passes but you never get back your virginity, so make sure that you are giving it up to the right person and that you are sure.
Sex is awkward for the first time because you do not really know what to do and how to do it. For girls it's painful and for the guys it is quick. It won't always be like that but you should be with someone that you are completely comfortable with and able to communicate with.
Once you are both out of the awkward first time moment you will be able to communicate to each other about what you want and how you feel. If you can't do this with the person you are about to have sex with then you are not with the right one.
Disease is a reality especially in our times so don't think that you will not get something if you sleep around. If you make the decision to have sex it must be in a committed relationship with someone that you love and trust to be faithful. If on of you strays you could get a disease.
Your first time should be special especially if you have discussed it with your partner and have taken a while to make the decision. Don't jump into it and try not to loose your virginity in a car or some tacky place. Make it special and romantic so that you can always remember.
This sounds weird but discuss it with a parent and if you can't do that then talk to an older sibling or a friend about what to expect, what to do and if you are making the right decision.
They can give you some advice and tips before you go ahead.
Ensure that you make love and it is not just sex.
Guys remember that once you have been intimate with your girlfriend they become more attached to you and will expect you to be there all the time, to listen, love and adore.
This is where jealousy sometimes comes in and the girls feel like you have to be there all the time which usually means your guys nights out take a back seat and it's commitment time.
Think very carefully about your decision and ensure that if you truly love your partner than sex can be wonderful and fun as you both explore and discover each other.