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Teen mom's and their Babies Daddy!

Updated on August 20, 2011

They meet, part 2 of Teen mom's and their mother.

They meet, they court, and make me a grandma at 46!

I’m not sure were they met exactly. I know they went to school together. That’s pretty much the extent of it. I remember the first time I met him, Mandy had asked me if we could go out for chinese food with a couple of her friends. My first reaction was " I’m not paying for everyone! " Single mom here, not a lot of money! “ They have money mom, “ she whined. “ Fine.” We planned to meet her friends at the restaurant. I was very surprised to see it was two boy’s we were meeting, Jr and his friend. Dinner was quite comical. Mandy has never had very good table manners, not for lack of our trying. Her father and I had alway’s teased her about future dates and table etiquette. Always warning her if she didn’t change her ways her first dinner date probably would think she was raised by a family who didn’t know what utensil’s were, or how to drink without spilling, and quite possibly not call her for a second date. ( Unfortunately we didn't get that lucky! ) Watching her try to sit still and not spill anything or drool while chewing was challenging. But, she managed to not embarrass herself too much. I was impressed when the bill came and Jr spoke up and declared he was paying for Mandy’s meal. I’m such a mushy mom I exclaimed awwww it’s your first “ real “ date! OMG was written all over her face.

That was probably the nicest thing Jr has ever done for my daughter through out their courtship. I may be exaggerating just a little, I’m sure there may have been a couple of other times but for some reason us mom’s can’t seem to remember them. Probably because they are far and few between.

Mandy and Jr’s relationship in the beginning seemed typical for a couple of 14 year olds. Talking on the phone for hours, AIM chats, and of course thousands of text messages. They held hands in the halls and ate lunch together in the cafeteria. Hung out after school and on weekends, and they argued... Oh boy did they argue! They fought about typical things as well as the bizarre. I would often talk with Amanda about their relationship, how they talked to each other, their lack of trust, how boys and girls tick. I talked and she rolled her eyes, I apparently knew nothing about boys or being in love. When I was growing up I dated my fare share of looser’s as we all did, however, I wasn’t allowed to determine for myself when to kick these looser’s to the curb. My mother did it for me. Not because I didn’t have the rocks to, but because she would grow impatient watching them miss treating me and me choking on there bad behavior. As a result of never really falling on my face and making good decisions for myself, I fell victim of needing someone else’s opinion whenever faced with difficult decisions. Of course I didn’t want to be like “ my mom,” I was going to be the “ cool “ mom, looking back now, I’m not very bright, my mom on the other hand had the right idea! So what if I need to ask for help when buying a car or need to run it by a close friend first, nothing s wrong with that. Instead I wanted Mandy to make her own decisions, learn from her own mistakes. I had hoped she would be strong enough to say enough is enough when she realized it was time to move on. Yet, 4 years later, I'm still waiting! Now that she has a child with him, I guess I will be waiting until my grandson turns 18!

They meet!
They meet!


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    • stacirenae89 profile image

      stacirenae89 6 years ago

      I have not had to go through something like this personally but my brother had his daughter when he was 17 and my parents have had to raise her ever since. I have the highest respect for them and all they have to deal with. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Lisa Gateley profile image

      Lisa Gateley 6 years ago from La Vergne, Tennessee

      Don't try to push too hard. The best thing to do is be supportive and don't use all of your energy bad mouthing the boyfriend. The worst thing is to say "He's bad news..." blah blah blah. Did you ever say "don't touch that it's hot" and she touched it anyway? That's the same thing. Some things take a while to realize when you're dealing with life coming too fast and the worst is when you have people trying to tell you how to live your life. I realize she's your daughter and that's hard to do because my mom is the same way, but even at 24 she still does these things. It may be painful to sit by and watch now, but she will realize later that you were trying to help.

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 6 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Thank you for commenting and the well wishes, Please continue to follow and post as you like. I wish I knew how to get through to my daughter that time is precious, use it wisely. Because she has a child at a young age the simplest things are made more difficult and because of this she needs to be prudent. Then I remind my self, she's only 18, her brain will not allow for logic! LOL I'm glad your doing well and working hard to do the right things, As a previous teen mom, is there anything you tell me not to do that will help me in my situation?

    • Lisa Gateley profile image

      Lisa Gateley 6 years ago from La Vergne, Tennessee

      I was a teenage mother. I had my son just after I turned 18 and I was with his father for 4 years. He and I separated after a pretty hectic marriage while I was pregnant with our second child. I ended up being 20 years old, a single parent, without a job. I had to live with my parents and eventually found a job that paid well enough and began attending college online. I have 18 months left of school for a BA in Communications Studies, a boyfriend of 4 years who has been there for me and my children, and I'm working on getting my children on track after the damage mine and their father's divorce caused them. Sometimes it's not easy to fix your mistakes, but at least if you can learn from what you did that's better than nothing. I hope everything works out for the best for you all!

    • profile image

      Brenda D. 6 years ago

      Lori you have every right to write what u feel ,this topic is touchy for some but informative,,says what all us want to say but dont know how to express..i thank you myself for doin this.