- Family and Parenting
Teen mom's and their Mother's
Finding out and the fall out.
Being the mother of a teen mother is no easy job. It's not for the faint of heart and is probably why we parents cry our eyes out when our daughters come home and we hear those two gut wrenching words, " I'm pregnant !"
Unfortunately it seems to be happening more and more often these days. I'm not sure it really matters why, some will will blame the media, TV, Music, society and of course us parents! As a single mom I can tell you this, I had lengthy discussions regarding abstinence, self respect, and birth control. Both kinds, the ones she uses and the one he " SHOULD" use, but rarely does. We talked about sexually transmitted diseases and how to talk with your partner about them. I also talked at length to my daughter about how hard her life would be as a teen mom.
Yet, here I sit, typing about my 18yo daughter and her 2 yo son. I will say, from the moment I discovered she was sexually active we made a trip to the doctors. This was by no means my approval of her having sex. Rather a way of protecting her from the reality of the situation. Let's face it even the most prudent parents can end up as grandparents well before they have turned 50! For us this was the best choice or so we thought. Unfortunately my daughter has a gift, albeit a curse, she gets pregnant even while on birth control. Apparently the guy upstairs had other plans for her. My daughter performed a pregnancy test after camping with her boyfriend and his family and she though she saw her stomach move. Now, my daughters not a big girl, she does tend to carry any extra weight in her belly area, we thought the weight gain was a " result " of the birth control. Silly girls, It was because she was 6 months 1 week and 4 days pregnant!
I was in denial, for days. I cried, her father cried, my daughter cried! Her father asked me " Why? why is this happening to her? " At first the real reason was obvious, " boy meets girl, girl falls in love, boy can't wait to express it," sorry, couldn't help myself. Actually I like to think of it as this is her path, this path maybe will keep her from doing other typical destructive behaviors most teens experience. Maybe she won't get in a car after a night drinking and attempt to drive home. No one knows the real reason. All I knew was in less than 3 months I was going to be a grandmother at the ripe old age of 45!