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Teen mom's and their babies Daddies; Part 5

Updated on December 5, 2011
HOLD ON | Source

What can I do

For those of you who have children who had became parents before their twentieth birthday and survived, HELP! I'm lost!

No matter how much I try to help or think I'm helping my daughter, I quickly realize I am an epic failure. My daughter hasn't actually told me this, however, her tantrums and fits of tears speak volumes.

I would like to think I am a typical grandmother, I do all the things a grandmother usually does, I've opened my cupboards and provided wooden spoons so he can pretend to cook or learn how to drum on the bottom of pans, I've showed him how to paint on paper and not on the walls, I've baked cupcakes and cookies with him and yes, I let him lick the spoon. With him I have scored huge points. With my daughter, I'm 0 & 0 !

Being the mother of a teen mother has proven extremely difficult for both of us. I try to constantly remind myself that she is still a teen. Yet a mother herself. Most mother's will battle with their teens over chores, curfews, friends and money management. Those of us with teen mom's now have to add new and unfamiliar battles like, putting their babies laundry away, picking up their toy's, washing bottles, how to discipline a toddler and keeping them entertained. Raising a teen is difficult enough, raising a teen mom feels impossible.

When she became pregnant at seventeen I was horrified by how much she was going to miss out on, her teen years were shattered! I vowed to do all that I could to make the transition as smooth as possible. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do that! If I try to tell her how to be better organized to alleviate the stresses of looking for shoes and lunch boxes, she roles her eyes, If I show her how to include her son in her daily chores, ( they're never too young to fold laundry) she complains that I don't understand, when I stress the importance of maintaining a schedule with naps and meals, she tells me " He's fine!" When I step back and say " Do it your way," she cries that I'm not helping. I can't win!

All I can do and I promise to continue doing, is love like crazy, hold on tight to the bar on the front of this ride and pray no one gets hurt!


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    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Mother, it's been a wild ride!!!! Thankfully Jacobs dad has matured nicely and has a great relationship with his son!

    • LongTimeMother profile image

      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Oh, wildove5. I feel for you!!!!

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 6 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Suzette, that was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a while, Thank you, very much, I needed that. And yes, I am truly blessed! No matter how angry I get, when I come home after working and my grandson stops whatever he is doing and runs to me with his arms stretched high screaming my name, nothing is too hard and all my worries and stresses disappear. I wish you and your family a Happy Holiday as well. Thank you again!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 6 years ago from Taos, NM

      Oh, I feel for you. You are in a no-win situation so don't even try to win. I think you are doing a terrific job and really what counts is that you continue to love unconditionally no matter how difficult that is right now. Your daughter's behavior is typical for her age, so with maturity, she will slowly change for the better. In the meantime, just do the best you can for all involved, and know that you are trying to do your best. Your grandson will remember all the things you have done for him when he his older and he will realize you are the rock on which he leans. Your daughter will grow up and mature and become a real human being some day; not remain the monster that comes out during difficult times. I was a teacher long enough to learn and realize even the worst grow up and do change for the better. There is hope!

      I want to take this time to wish you and your family a very Happy Holday season. (And peaceful, too) I have enjoyed reading your hubs and knowing you on hubpages. I will never forget you were my first follower here on hubpages. Where you find the time to work, write, raise a daughter and grandson all at the same time is an amazement to me. So, with the holiday rush coming next week, I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and enjoy Christmas morning with your daughter and grandson. Believe it or not - you are blessed!