- Family and Parenting
The 10 Types of Parents-MODERATE PARENTS, Part 2/5
What TYPE of Parent Are YOU
In Part 1/5 of this hub, I discussed the family as a social institution. Besides that, I entailed the traditional parental types as delineated in psychological theory, adding that there are more and varied parental styles than what was traditionally believed. In Part 2/5 of this hub, I will proceed to discuss the rational/perceptive and the democratic/interactive parenting styles.
II. MODERATE PARENTS
(3) The Rational/Perceptive Parent- Rational/perceptive parents believe that children must be conscientiously motivated in order to become fully thinking and independent beings. They further maintain that proper motivation means respect for the child. They maintain that children who are treated disrespectfully by parents tend to resent the parents and become unresponsive to parental motivation.
Rational/perceptive parents believe that respect is earned and is not automatic. They contend that children are intelligent and capable beings and are deserving of respect. They further assert that this parental respect should be unconditional. They feel that as parents, they should be the more mature one in the parent-child relationship.
Rational/perceptive parents are strict adherents of the concept, mature parenting. Mature parents is when the parents realize that their role in parenting is to teach and guide the child into adulthood. They are cognizant of the fact that children will act immaturely sometimes as they are still in the developmental and formative stages. They realize that children are going to act in ways that can be less than positive. They accept this as part of their learning process. When they do correct their children, it is with positive reinforcement.
Rational/perceptive parents believe that parents are to be the reasonable ones. After all, they contend they have more education and life experience. They believe that children are apt to respond to a logical parent than they would to a parent who constantly use powerplays and upmanship. They believe that such psychological manipulations on the part of parents is a sign of insecurity about their responsibilities. In addition to that, they believe that such parents are emotionally and mentally immature.
Rational/perceptive parents believe that in addition to children being treated with respect, they must also be treated with lovingkindness. They maintain that above all else, children who are treated with kindness tend to thrive emotionally, intellectually, mentally, and psychologically. To them, that is the most they can do for their children. They contend that parenthood should be undertaken with the premise of motivating their children in an intelligent and logical matter. They feel that children must be educated in a mindful manner as they learn best this way.
Rational/perceptive parents affirm that when they state something, a plausible reason must be given. They want their children to grow up to be logical thinkers. They have a dim view of parents who demand that their children listen to and follow their statements without questioning. They want their children to ask questions and to disagree with them if they believe that the statement and/or related request is illogical. In this way, they could further explain the statement and/or request to the child or totally disregard the statement and/or request if it is too implausible and/or illogical.
Rational/perceptive parents believe that in order for children to become viable beings, when it is appropriate, the latter should be allowed to participate in the family decision making process and to make their own independent decisions. They believe that children should have some autonomy over their lives, particularly the more minor aspects of their lives. They maintain that children must have a certain autonomy over their lives in order to be assertive, thinking, responsible, and independent people. They, like their modernistic/progressive counterparts, feel that their children, as human beings, should have ownership over parts of their lives that matter. They feel that it is beneficial in the long run to give their children the prerequisite autonomy they need in order to become independent.
Rational/perceptive parents are more dominant in their parenting style. While they believe their children are individuals, they also contend that parents, as adults with experience, must assume the more dominant role. They believe that children are not yet capable to make major decisions in their lives. They assert that children need parents to establish certain parameters and limits in order for the latter to feel assured. They further maintain that they are not their children's friends and mates but are parents. Even though they assume the more dominant role in their children's lives, they also believe in being accessible and welcoming towards their children.
Rational/perceptive parents believe in assuming the more dominant role in parenting. They use motivation and teaching as parenting methods regarding their children. They are not afraid to be the more dominant one in the relationship as they are the adults. They contend as adults, they have more education and experience which they impart to their children. They are not afraid to set boundaries and parameters for their children as it is to the latter's overall benefit. While they are the more dominant of the three parenting types, they believe that children should be treated with respect and that respect is a two way street.
Children in such an environment know where they stand with their parents. They know that their parents care and love them enough to set appropriate boundaries. They also realize that they can have some autonomy and participation in family life, where it is suitable. They are given rules, however, they are free to question such rules if they feel that the rules are illogical and impractical. Even though this parent-child relationship is somewhat more conventional than most, their parents are open to their needs.
(4) The Democratic/Interactive Parent- Democratic/interactive parents are of the school that children need their insight in order to develop and mature properly. They believe that children do not know and it is their responsibility as parents to raise and nurture the latter. They are of the school that children do not and cannot raise themselves. They contend that the parents as adults are to take a prominent and active role regarding raising their children.
Democratic/interactive parents have a clear understanding that there must be established rules for their children to follow. They believe that rules are essential in raising secure and happy children. They confirm that children must have boundaries and parameters set to give them a sense of who they are, what they can, and cannot do. They believe that they are the parents in the relationship and are unafraid to clarify that fact. While they believe that children must have structures and limits, they are of the school that children must be allowed some autonomy in order become fully functioning and independent adults.
Democratic/interactive parents contend that there should be the principle of moderation in raising children. They know the importance of being proactive and involved parents who effectively combine the methodology of being available to their children. While they believe in the more traditional aspects of parenting, they are also modern enough to grant their children the right amount of freedom and autonomy in the latter's life.
Democratic/interactive parents are strong proponents in being available and involved in their children's lives. They maintain that one of the components of being a good parent is to be always accessible to their children. Being accessible and available to them is the hallmark of a good parent. They assert that children must have a sense of security which is assured by having parents who are available to them when needed. They maintain that this feeling of security is crucial in the self-concept and self-esteem of their children.
Democratic/interactive parents contend that children fare the best when parents are in charge. They are not afraid to establish rules for their children. They feel that children must have rules and that rules exist for a reason. They inculcate their children with the premise that although they have some freedoms, there are rules which exist for the containment and betterment of society. However, they believe that rules should never be arbitrarily applied. They contend that rules should be judiciously applied.
Democratic/interactive parents can be described as judicious parents. They do not believe in overstepping their parental parameters. They are of the school that parents must fair minded if they want their children to be respectful toward them. They contend that a certain amount of obedience is necessary but blind obedience is highly destructive to a child's sense of self and autonomy.
Democratic/interactive parents applies this fair mindedness by believing that while rules are important, they are not etched in stone and that many things are open for discussion. They believe that children can participate in family decision making when they are either old or mature enough and/or if it is appropriate. They assert that children should be free to discuss things with their parents if they feel that anything is impractical and/or unfair. As parents, they feel that nothing is more of a turn off than to be an arbitrary parent. While they believe in rules and paradigms, they also consider their children when they make such rules and paradigms.ed
Democratic/interactive parents believe that while parents are not their children's friends, they should been on a friendly basis with their children. They see no contradiction in being a strong yet friendly parent. In fact, being friendly with their children established a parent-child relationship that is based upon trust. They are of the school that children should be able to talk to their parents about anything that perplexes and interest them. They believe that they are their children's primary go to person. They contend that the familial atmosphere should be the one when children feel the most trust in. They argue that if the parents are not accessible and open minded, who can their children turn to. At least, in their eyes, parents should ALWAYS be the one a child can go to without judgement.
Democratic/interactive parents feel that respect is an essential component of parenting. They believe that children must respect their parents in order to create a harmonious parent-child relationships. They also contend that they must give their children the respect they need. They feel that with this respect, their children will not develop properly in addition to becoming hostile towards them and develop issues with authority.
Democratic/interactive parents maintain that authority is not a bad thing. They maintain that authority can be beneficial if it is used mindfully and not with impunity. It is their contention that many children have issues with authority because of the arbitrary and disrespectful ways they were treated as childhood. They maintain that mature and mindful parents can be authoritative while still being tolerant when the situation arises. They assert that being strong parents and yet open minded to their children's needs should never be mutually exclusive, it can be done within reason.
Democratic/interactive parents approach parenting with a strong sense of responsibility. They maintain that children must be taught and motivated to mature into well-functioning and thoughtful adults. They assert that children must have established parameters in order for them to know right from wrong for they will not know otherwise. However, they believe that children must be granted some autonomy in order to be independent people. They contend that children must be treated with respect.
Children in such environments know where they stand with their parents. They are in the more passive position in the family. Even though there is a clear demarcation as to who is the parent and who is the child, such children have some freedom and autonomy in their lives. They have the freedom to go to their parents whenever they have issues that they disagree with, a general problem, and/or just to have a discussion. They are secure, knowing that they have accessible parents whom they can depend upon.
© 2013 Grace Marguerite Williams