The Adjustments And Advantages Of Being A Stay At Home Dad
I recently took on the challenge of becoming a stay at home dad for my newborn twins. The decision for me to leave my job was based on many factors, the biggest being financial. I was earning over $40,000/yr. as an assistant manager, and my fiance was earning a lot more as a social services director. There were other reasons why I decided to leave, but this one was the biggest. $40,000/yr. is a lot of money to give up, but knowing the high cost of child care and the fact that we had twins, it only made sense for me to stay at home. This decision has had a positive impact and a negative impact, but after weighing all the pros and cons, I can say that I don’t regret my decision.
Being a stay at home dad comes with some obvious adjustments. The first is the lack of income coming from me towards our household. Going from $40,000/yr. to $0/yr. is a tough adjustment, and I had to learn to change my wasteful spending ways. The next adjustment was learning how to spend my time. This sounds funny, as I am taking care of twins, but after the hustle and bustle of a 12 hour per day job I had too much time on my hands. The last adjustment was swallowing my pride. I was always the decision maker when it came to finances, and not having an income for the first time in my adult life was a hard pill to swallow. This is an ongoing process for me, but it’s getting easier with time.
Despite the drawbacks of my decision I’ve found some unexpected benefits from being a stay at home dad. The first is I have learned to become a nicer person. After years of working a stressful job, having that weight lifted off my shoulders has shown me that I was taking life too seriously. I see now I put a lot of stress on myself under the illusion that I had to do it to survive, when in reality I was making myself miserable and resenting everyone around me. Another unexpected benefit to being a stay at home dad was the opportunity to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. I dabbled in writing for years, but with extra time on my hands I’ve learned to improve my skill, and now I can even generate income at home by doing it. Being a stay at home dad is challenging, but I have to admit these were two very welcome blessings in my life.
Overall, I have challenges to face in the future. For now, the important thing is knowing my twins are growing up with their dad in their life. I have other children outside my relationship with my fiancé, and I regret that I didn’t make this decision sooner for them, but I hope that once I get things on tract, I will be able to give all my children the benefit of a better father who is happy to be a part of their lives. I don’t regret my decision to become a stay at home dad. I’ve learned much about myself on this journey, and it’s showing me a way to become a better me.