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The Boy Teacher and the Father Student #61; deciding What is Wrong or Right

Updated on June 27, 2019
Ericdierker profile image

Eric started working with children when he was still one himself. He taught first aid through Scouting. All the way to preaching to youth.

A Family History Wall

Hey let's talk about Grandmas
Hey let's talk about Grandmas | Source

Who's The Boss?

Many times we just muddle through and people will suggest by word or body language that if we don’t stand for their cause we fail. Others, suggest that we have no spine and yet others laugh at us. We are quite simply those who love above right and wrong or right and left or right about it.

Apathy is the opposite of love and we promise you that the last time we did not care is beyond our recollection. We love to care. Caring is like an addiction. Perhaps caring should be moderation from being a type of dependency on others emotions. (you figure out what we call that in nomenclature of shrinks). Not thinking is sloth and sloth is a deadly sin. So often we hear to just have faith. That is sloth. That is the worst type of atrophy leading to apathy.

You may not give faith without knowledge of to whom you give it. So studying and understanding is critical to anyone of faith.

B: One more game of chess, I beat you in the long game.

F: I gave that one up to you so you would feel good.

B: Liar, liar pants on fire what do I get for beating you?

F: I hate to lose so I hate you and you may just get a swift kick in the butt for rubbing it in.

B: But I should get a treat for winning.

F: Your treat is that I do not get all upset and revoke every possible privilege you have. But with your attitude that may change.

B: You can’t do that just because I beat you by your own stupid move.

F: See that!? You are pulling the tail of the tiger and I am one mean tiger.

B: This is not fair I beat you fair and square so I should be boss of what I get.

F: So let me get this straight; you beat me in one chess match so now you can drive the car if you want to and pay the bills and clean up and cook up? Besides that your shirt is inside out, who tells you that?

B: But I should get something for beating the “tiger”. And not eaten. Hihihi

F: True Dat but the Tiger still decides. Ten more minutes on your game stuff online.

B: Twenty more.

F: Fifteen is my final offer, take it or leave it and go study.

Cool Dance Show. But The Song is Great

More Back-country

My boy has spent more time in places like this than in a city.
My boy has spent more time in places like this than in a city. | Source


Our layout is sometimes equal and in my dotage sometimes I must yield. Everything from soccer to the above game of chess to bike riding. He is beginning to surpass me at times. This begets a push on my part to keep at it.

Deciding What is Wrong or Right.

“Now here is a game that I will win but if you beat me you get a full extra hour on your IPad over two days.”

F: Is it right for a father to kiss a son?

B: No way that is gross!

F: But you know I kiss your forehead every night as you go to sleep.

B: That is different, you told me it is to check my temperature.

F: I win, it is a kiss, in your head you assumed a kiss on the lips.

F: Is it ever right to yell at someone?

B: No, that is like bullying.

F: Yesterday I yelled at you that a car was coming as you road your bike. So wrong again.

F: Is it ever right to disobey your parent’s direct order?

B: Never ever.

F: That would be wrong. When you are forty and I need help at over eighty.

F: Is it ever right to discriminate against a person?

B: No, it never right to discriminate against anyone.

F: Wrong. Number two definition about judgement. Is it good to discriminate about that bully Kamari? Be careful putting ordinary definitions. We use language discretionary. Context defines a word. But I give you that one. Fair enough?

B: Is it right to smash someone in their face?

F: Yes and it is called boxing.

B: Is it right to call people by dirty names?

F: No that is wrong.

B: Is it wrong to cheat in games?

F: Yes it is wrong.

B: Are you fat?

F: Fat is the right word. I am not obese or morbidly obese. Maybe we could use overweight.

B: Am I fat?

F: No, you have some fat. We are not skinny here, we are healthy. Our doctors want us to curb our intake to make us skinny. But not really they just want us to not get more. “fatness to extreme” is really really bad for you.

B: Do I eat too much? You say that sometimes.

F: Yes you do. For your size and age you eat too much. But for your age and group you exercise a whole lot. You are joining the team this year. You will hang out more than you play. Here you play more than hang out. So these kids actually do not get as much exercise as you. Simple math.

F: This was just a game. You know it is more complicated right?

B: Yep, I think I won.

Come On

Just another trail
Just another trail | Source

Just Another Song I Teach My Children

About The Game

The boy is in a 4 hour 3 days a week “summer” camp. You cannot really play dodge ball without a group of kids. Learning guitar is more fun with a group. Arts and crafts is better with someone who knows what they are doing. And not to worry that gives us a solid ten of being together. Yesterday was a good bike ride and backyard golf and soccer.

Hey let’s talk about “screen” time. Millions of adults, (wow that is probably a billion adults) work on a screen at least half of an 8 hour day. That is very interesting. Perhaps those that are best at screen time are the best at work. That is almost scary. If there are 7.5 billion of us, perhaps the number is closer to 1.5 billion?

So limit your child’s screen time, instead of promote more? Clearly for a person to be successful at mid-level jobs they have to do real well with screen time.

Call me crazy but that is crazy. Yet is true. So what is a dad to do about setting up screen time parameters? Another article.

F: Gabe sweep and clean up the front walkway area.

B: Alright! How much time do I get for it?

F: How about none if you don’t do it snappy with a smile on your face.

B: See my smile. It will be spick and spam. But if I do it real well real fast I get double.

F: You push me boy, always trying to bargain a better deal. Ok you get 1.5 time but you have to clock both. You time your chore and then you quit your time on your own.

B: OK.

F: I am ignoring you but you know I am paying attention in the left side of my brain and will inspect and set my mental timer.

B: Ha! You always let me go longer.

F: Wait a second, that is interactive time not sit and stare time. See if Israel is playing online, I like that kid. Not so much his older cousin.

B: Ah!

F: I will be watching and what is with all that violence anyway?

B: Dad you do know it is made up and not real.

F: Don’t say that, it is wrong. Like a cartoon is a real cartoon your games are real games. Love you boy.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill in my little home we like to say cảm ơn bạn, which is rough for "thank you sir" in Viet. Here it is sincere. Thank you.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      2 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      There's some really great stuff here, Eric, as usual. I always look forward to my Sundays when I can actually get some reading done, and you're always a part of it!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sam it is the toughest road there is to teach how to think rather than repeat. Yet the most rewarding. Somewhere down the road I will be a hypocrite and he will call me on it. Better than complacency I reckon.

    • Sam Shepards profile image

      Sam Shepards 

      2 years ago from Europe

      Ought, one of the most difficult words in the English language. Teaching someone to use his/her own discretion is a tough balancing act. Seems like you are doing ok here. Not going for absolutes, seeing the corner cases and showing that nothing is that clear cut as we like to believe.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I am heartened by your comments Dora. We are starting to deal with interaction of strangers. I hope I get it right.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, both you and your son are winners, if for no other reason that that you have winning conversations--winning over other negative types of conversations some other parents have with their children. Proud of you, Buddy.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Elijah you prove my point perfectly. Knowledge and faith are to be followed. The parent who teaches such is not the arbiter of right and wrong. Wisdom is.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Tim. Reading books is just the way it is in our house. We just read the Oxford notion of Laughing. It requires body, mind and soul. Boring so not mentioned here. But books are so cool. But watching our wild birds grown up is better. Bike riding is even better.

    • The0NatureBoy profile image

      Elijah A Alexander Jr 

      2 years ago from Washington DC

      Eric, strict does not mean "demand", it means that SOMETIMES you will "hold the line" where you placed so they don't cross it. That teaches one there are times when what is encouraged should be followed.

      In 1978 before I entered Canada spirit provided me with a map and told me to map out my journey through Canada, across the US and across Mexico. I did. Just after I returned from Canada into the US spirit told me to make a "B" line to the south and provided a ride to the Muhammad Ali fight in New Orleans, LA to do it with but I refused. After giving away my tent and bedroll to someone who had only the clothes on his back, before getting to Texas I had encountered 3 snow storms in September between Montana and the Oklahoma Panhandle. When I got to Texas after asking spirit why it answered "I told you to make a "B" line to the south. That taught me sometimes the first instructions are to be followed but conditions can change and other instructions are to be followed. Thereafter, I often was walking through a town with intentions to hang around when spirit would direct me to go a block or two off my highway and go in the direction I was going for several b locks and told two get back on the highway, I obeyed because I knew I would not appreciate what I would have encountered had I not.

      To these day 40+ years later I still do make any changes spirit instruct, I realize it knows best. So I feel, although we don't know as well as spirit, sometimes strictness needs to be enforced less he always believe he will be able to get away with disobedience.

      Just some "Food for Though" my brother.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      2 years ago from U.S.A.

      Eric, Gabe, is talented and regardless of what he does, he is ahead of so many. Spending so much time with you will make him an incredible communicator because he is learning the nuances of language and emotion from his dad and mom. By the way, I encouraged a few kids I work with to push away from those games and pick up the old fashioned books. They are liking those old antiques of knowledge now. Respect and admiration, (love your work on HP and the way you share your life with us) Tim

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Elijah I cannot write all of a day or two down so I write in the positive area. Using what you say is how we get to where we are.

      I do not enforce discipline I teach it. I do not demand discipline I am an example of it. If I do not do these two methods I do not lead in love.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.


      The ladies have opines on his career. I they range from Minister to Naval Officer to lawyer like his dad. I just accept that he will be a starving artist of some sort. And I accept that he will get a full scholarship wherever he goes to college.

      Pamela the only alterations in these conversations is timing. It may take a few conversations. But we can always remember and pick up where we left off like our all day chess games.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda as youngest of 6 that rule was enforced with vigor. Except when we did some one on one time. As long as polite, our dinner table was open to all.

      I think Gabe was God's work. Gabe was a month premature. I had a trip to Mexico City planned. Quit that work ASAP. You cannot raise a child from across the borders and then some.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill, he is very smart and now his base of knowledge and recall is growing exponentially by the day.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Sorry for delays but the elder boy was in town just to see me. Well probably his little brother a bit more :-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Now Marlene I have heard a bit about a debate. I have not got paid for such since the 80's. But we debate and it is so fun. I reckon our debate is priceless.

    • The0NatureBoy profile image

      Elijah A Alexander Jr 

      2 years ago from Washington DC

      Before I even began to read this, Eric, I am going to answer "Wrong or Right" as being what one's instincts dictates what to and not to do under all specific circumstances. Now, on to the reading.

      You are too lenient on him, you should, on some occasions, be strict because balance is "the law of perfection" but I, as always, enjoyed the conversation and am looking forward to more mordent come.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      2 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Gabe may have a career in sales. Haha! He sounds like he is just adorable, and you can tell he is getting older as he is always bargaining for a better deal. I think he is a very smart boy. I thoroughly enjoy these conversations, my friend. You are truly blessed.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      2 years ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, I think it's wonderful that you and Gabe negotiate. I grew up in the generation of "don't speak unless you are spoken to" and there was no back-and-forth from parent to child. That would have been back-talking and was forbidden. From you, he's learning how to bargain and compromise. You're a great parent. You (almost) make me wish that I could do it all over again. Almost.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a solid dude, Dude, and that boy is smarter than a whip!

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      2 years ago from USA

      It is interesting that no matter how young they are, children still know how to bargain with their parents like a pro. It is good that you take solid time with your children to show and tell them what is wrong and what is right. You set your children up for success in the "real" world when you take the time that you do with them. Good daddy!


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