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The Boy Teacher and the Father Student 83; Elder Children

Updated on February 28, 2020

Easy Does It

Whats going on?
Whats going on? | Source

Elder of Younger

What are you in your head?

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How Old

The Evil of Youth and a Big Smile

Elder is a funny word. If you are hanging out in a nursing home, elder means one thing. Elder with children means quite another. But the notion of elder stays the same. How about the definition of elder means older than another. Being the elder in my family does not even buy me respect. Having less than a normal ego it is fine that everyone else makes elder jokes at me. (No not with me ;-)

My eldest daughter is brutal on my youngest son. It is hard to imagine the love between the eldest and the youngest being any stronger. Did I mention the 30 year age difference? So for sure my elder child is an elder for my younger.

“D” is for Daughter.

D: Hey Gabe I will be in town Wednesday you want to come see me after school?

B: Where?

D: At my fancy hotel with a heated pull looking over the ocean in La Jolla.

B: Tell Eric to pick me up early.

(of course the punk calls me by my name and not dad when he wants my attention – devious that boy)

D: You can see the seals while I am in my last meeting. Tell Eric to bring you early for education.

(The conspiracy is born while I am within earshot of the phone call – the outright gaul)

B: You know dad can hear us.

D: So what is he going to do? Not come see me? Leave you in school rather than school you?

B: Dad is laughing too hard.

B: But mom might say no.

D: Your mom will do whatever I say because I am the responsible sister and I am rich.

B: not when you threw me in the ocean and stuck a crab in my face.

D: That is because you are a punk. I bet you could pick me up now.

B: Nope, you are too fat and old. Dad said you are a senior citizen because you are so bossy. He says that you think you are the boss of him.

D: I am Gabe. I am the boss of a lot of people, like 100’s. Dad is only the boss of you, but I am teaching him how to do that, he is not a good student.

B: You know he can hear you. Because he is so old he leaves the speaker on so he can hear.

D: Well turn it off monkey.

B: Why didn’t I think of that?


Old meets new.
Old meets new. | Source

Don't Be A Bummer

Games We Play

So it would seem I am not the best dad in the world, teaching them such insolent behavior. When I was younger a phone call like that from coast to coast would be very expensive. We wrote letters. As the elder ones were growing they had to write letters to folks. My young one probably averages a letter a week and one quick note a week. On my left at my desk are stamps and envelopes, don’t give me your address or I will send you one.

Writing letters is old school. But we go old school. I have an elder sister around 70+ we just write letters. She is a calligrapher. Really that is what she does for a living. She is Godmother to my youngest. She is my elder sibling.

F: Boy, now I do not believe your rap about doing your reading already. So you must sit there and figure out a story to tell that lasts 5 minutes. Then you must tell me the story.

B: OK I will read for twenty minutes.

F: Nope you already cast the die and so shall it be.

B: You think you are, all that, speaking like an important person.

F: Bottom line kid.

F: The sky is cloudy yet the heat makes the sweat drip off the old man’s upper lip as he sat cross ways in his saddle staring down the sheriff in this God forsaken town that smelled like death. He came to hunt one man.

F: See? You just put to words a scene you picture in your pea sized brain. Go for it. And this time no rhyming.

B: OK. How many points do I earn for my Ipad time?

F: Don’t push me boy I am your elder.

B: Just because someone is older does not mean I respect them. They have to earn it. But I know, respect them first. That is kind of crazy. Respect them unless they act wrong and then don’t respect them? That is like “taking back”.

F: You are so smart. Now you did not fool this old man – do the story.

B: Mom teaches better because she tells me exactly what to put down.

F: Well you have a point but perhaps now that you are older it is backwards.

Just Another Day at the Office

The hat now lives with my honorary father's head, he gave me away.
The hat now lives with my honorary father's head, he gave me away. | Source

Peace Be With You

Now it is said that a tortoise and a Koi fish can live to over 200 years old. My ex-wife has a dog (Squeeker) that is blind as a bat and 18 years old. I have been related by marriages to two 104 year olds. We were best friends and I still miss them after decades. It is so fun to have a friend who is a much elder. They can go from horseback to space shuttles.

I had the ultimate privilege recently. It was a nursing home facility. I had some issues that required inpatient physical and occupational therapy. The best spot for what I needed was with the elders. My current Mistress is a spry 95 years old. I will go see her today. Elders are cool.

My younger son has no grandparents walking around. But he has two honorary grandmas. That is one of those good things about his church time. He is around real elders.

B: Dad do you really feel half your age?

F: Absolutely.

B: I don’t get it, you have health problems and some things that hurt.

F: Great. I think you get it. Check out how I turn your question around. You see if I felt as old as I am the “problems” would get to me. Remember that in my ‘30s I almost stayed dead due to cancer. I definitely feel younger than that now.

B: Makes sense. But I mean how you act. Mom says you act like a child.

F: When I was in my forties I used to grunt getting out of my chair. I was in stressful situations 24/7. Except for walking and hiking/climbing I did not get exercise and I worried. Now I just don’t give a damn.

B: Bad word! But don’t you worry and get all concerned about me? Don’t you care about anything?

F: Easy. I care. Listen to my words and what they really mean; “I don’t give a damn”. People just assume that means you do not care. But how I use it, it means I do not condemn. If you are not busy judging right or wrong or good and bad you can be like a child.

B: Dad you should say that differently. You should say: “I do not care about who is right and wrong”. Like that condemn the act and not the person deal you pound at me.

B: But now I get it. You feel half your age like feelings.

F: We will go about this again. It is too deep before you make those pancakes. Never get too smart on an empty stomach.

We are off to visit both elder sisters and cruise the gardens and beach tomorrow. I always wonder what the rich people do for fun, if you can do this and be poor.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora, this is a splendid thing for all your people. I can feel the jubilation. Speak now to the elders you hold dear. They will rest well knowing it is you who steps up.

      //Sorry, I am not callous, just cognizant of passing//

      Very much love to you.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      16 months ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, I'm nearing the position of Head Elder on my father's side of the family. I wish I hope that I have earned the respect of all the young ones, but it's hard to tell. Your son could probably give some hints on how to figure that out.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      So true Flourish. I am cruising around at 24, looking in the mirror in my sixties and ruminating in my seventies. Now playing sports with Gabe I am in my 100's! And just 2 years ago I could beat him.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      16 months ago from USA

      So Eric, how old are you on the inside? I’m 24 although in true years I’m 50. Your son seems beyond his years. It’s odd how inside none of us necessarily match out chronological age.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Linda. We keep pushing them to limits. The references to his sister turned out wonderful, what a wonderful evening. We have fun age comparisons here.

    • Mahvish Iqbal awan profile image

      Mahvish Iqbal Awan 

      16 months ago from muzaffarabad azad kashmir


    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 

      16 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is an entertaining and meaningful article. The conversations are very interesting!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      16 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Devika learning is essential as you point out. Elders are my choice after the Boy.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      16 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      We all learn from each other in some ways and learning from the elder is a great start for anyone. Thank you for a great message here.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Hi Bill, we are loving age. Yesterday in a yoga class a spry gal of 80+ whined about the hell of growing older. I gave her a funky look and she immediately said -- "well it is better than dying".

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Mahvish. I like to keep it informal. I just assume we will be friends for awhile.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      17 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Installment 83 - that's pretty impressive. But really, Eric - The Byrds? I guess that proves our "eldership". Thanks for another fun read, my friend!

    • Mahvish Iqbal awan profile image

      Mahvish Iqbal Awan 

      17 months ago from muzaffarabad azad kashmir

      Eric dierker sir it's Mahvish

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda that concept is a source of laughter for us 5 kids. A "stroll". A "nap". Going on a hike and sleeping on the ground. No one can pay money to make those better.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill I am not even the boss of Gabe anymore. I have to stick around long enough for them to teach me -- could be worse reasons :-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Pamela, My eldest and middle daughter and

      gabe spent the afternoon at the beach and a festival. We are having so much fun.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Raymond it is good to hear from you. We love that notion of happiness, Joy and just plain having a blast is free.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      17 months ago from Southern Illinois

      The best part of growing older is the ability to listen. When you're always in a hurry, you just don't have the time, or so I thought. Good that you listen and respond. Gabe will surely be a lawyer. I would hire him...

    • Donna-Rayne profile image

      Donna Rayne 

      17 months ago from Greenwood, Indiana

      We all age slowly like a good bottle of wine, the longer it stays sealed the better it will be, elder people are full of treasures in knowledge, life and what the world was many moons ago to what it is now.

      I enjoyed your article. Thank you for sharing it!

      Peace to you,

      Donna Rayne

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      17 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, I was with you 100 percent until the last line. " I always wonder what rich people do for fun if you can do this and be poor."

      Those with money are not rich; you are the wealthy one.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      17 months ago from Olympia, WA

      My son is 35. He knows everything. Sometimes he's even correct in what he knows. Thank the gods he has me to steer his ship when he's about to go aground. :) Or thank the gods I have him to steer my ship. I always get those confused.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      17 months ago from Sunny Florida

      This article is entertaining, as usual. I loved reading the conversation between your daughter and your son. Your son is also a delight. Your article today was interesting and a joy to read, Eric.

    • raymondphilippe profile image

      Raymond Philippe 

      17 months ago from The Netherlands

      Just came back home from doing some grocery shopping and spending a small fortune on them. Fortunately, reading your article made me feel rich again! The best things in life are free.....

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John you just made me realize that allowing them some bossy time on us probably is a safe place to make mistakes. I know it is for me, or maybe not so safe ;-) No matter what I would not trade it for the whole world.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      17 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mahvish Iqbal Awan I think I get your point. Perhaps time is the proper method of communicating. A commitment to express and listen.

      Thank you for spending your time with us here.

      (What is the shortened name you go by)

    • manatita44 profile image


      17 months ago from london

      They have different priorities, rich people. Golf, caviar, name and fame is a natural mind pleaser. They, like the Romans and Pharises, see the world upside down. There are exceptions, of course, like the Dierker family. Haha.

      Nice conversations with your children. Peace.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      17 months ago from Gondwana Land

      This was a wonderful exchange, first between your eldest daughter and Gabe, then between him and you. Sometimes my kids act like they are elder and can tell me what to do lol, so I can relate.

    • Mahvish Iqbal awan profile image

      Mahvish Iqbal Awan 

      17 months ago from muzaffarabad azad kashmir

      It was an amazing ,interesting and sad topic at a time really made me recall the days i used to argue with my parents and with the siblings is real blessing ever ..I think at every stage of life we are on our learning periods , experiences never stop and learning goes on. Perfect and strongest bonds are bonds of love and the best people are those who listen to us ,pay attention and find the solution


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