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The Boy Teacher and the Father Student #90 Changes

Updated on September 8, 2020
Ericdierker profile image

Eric started working with children when he was still one himself. He taught first aid through Scouting. All the way to preaching to youth.


I have to deal with this?
I have to deal with this? | Source


We have not come to a crossroads we have come to a “lane merging”. The dynamic has changed. The bulk of communications these days are not so much questions and answers but rather conversations of, dare I say, of an adult nature. Full independence is occurring. The boy’s interests are now his own. He excels in areas I simply cannot teach with any authority that would benefit either of us. So we learn together.

Changes are taking place that are not in either of our control. He is 10+ and larger than his mother. Imagine the growing pains at ½ inch per month. But together we have learned it is not circumstances that control us but rather our reaction to them. He seems to be gaining control as I am losing it. Thank goodness.

B: Dad this remote schooling is going to be weird, I think. They do not know what they are doing. I started on Thursday and they still do not have the exact schedule down yet. I heard you getting loud with mom when she said they did not know how they will break down the subjects yet. It sounded like you thought that she just did not understand it.

F: Well you got that right. But she got her point across. How could she know if they don’t? But that sounded so ridiculous to me that I just assumed she did not get it and would not admit it. I used to hate apologizing. Now it seems so right. This is tough on me.

B: Why is it tough on you? You don’t have to deal with it? Well you know what I mean. Do like me and just go with the flow. Like you say, lower your expectations of others and adjust.

F: You know what bugs me the most is your social education. This is teaching you plenty early that half the time adults do not know what they are doing. Now you will be questioning everything they do, and that is a distraction from learning basics.

B: Dad you taught me to question everything but to not get hung up on the answer. You need to go back and read some of your boy teacher articles. Ha ha ha.

F: My dad used to say “Nobody likes a smartass”. It took me years to figure out why he laughed when he said that. Because in fact most people like a smartass. But it hit’s me that now is the time to be all supportive of the schools. Easy to cut people down when they are struggling. But better to build them up.

B: I got some new school clothes. That just seemed normal to me. Not like usual but you have to look right for the virtual appearance.

F: I was tripping out doing that number stuff in my head. You have been in this social distancing and masks and quarantine stuff for one twentieth of your life. And around a tenth of your schooling. You are doing so great it makes me wonder if it is not a good thing if you know what I mean.


On Oldie But Goodie

Treasure time.
Treasure time. | Source

Just Chatter

B: I like it and now we walk with our/my friends in the evening and it is fun. How come so many kids on our street go to my school? Oops, never mind.

F: Dang I wanted to answer that one and make fun of you.

B: So how come we don’t go to the same church? Got you there.

F: Check it out, when I was growing up we basically had 6 churches. And almost all the kids in my neighborhood either went to the Catholic one or mine which was Federated. Then there was a Baptist church on the South Side, a Lutheran church and a Mormon church. That is it. And we did not have Muslim, Jewish or any Asian “church/temples”. Can you even imagine?

B: That is weird. That is so wrong. How come?

F: 12 thousand people. Not enough of the other groups to build a church. The very few we had worshipped in people’s homes.

B: Dad I am starting to get this whole deal about history. Some stuff is bad but it still is the history. I learn from my mistakes. Like that idea that for every mess up we learn how not to mess up.

F: How about that deal of “if it works well do it the same way every time”.

B: I was wondering what we are going to be like when we go back to school. I mean all of us spending so much time with our parents. Like when we were talking about your retro words like “boss”, “Cray Cray” and “phat”. But then I thought that we will all be like that a little so it won’t be like we are weird or anything.

F: Remember we are just experiments.

Top of the Climb

Hikes better than I do now.
Hikes better than I do now. | Source

Easy Does It


The boy is now talking about one parent to the other parent now. He is actually critical. But in a healthy good way. Who knows what he says about me to mom. I imagine it is about how much I write and my based on “norms” craziness. Probably the fact that he is more tech capable than me. And that sometimes I would rather be dirty than clean.

A heat wave has us quarantined more than Covid. One room in the house with cooling with 113 degrees outside. That puts the boy and I with about 50 feet of each other all day long for days. Now a raging fire nearby that spews ashes and smoke over our home. More inside time.

B: Dad you read too much and I play my gaming too much.

F: I am bored, I don’t even feel like playing chess. Hey let’s play.

B: Let’s play the extended version where we just make moves and then do other stuff. What is that word again when you get used to something?

F: I think you mean acclimate.

B: That’s it. I am getting acclimated to the heat. It does not bother me as much.

F: Your auntie said that for 100 degree temperatures that takes about a month. Interesting, maybe I should read up on that ;-)

B: But it could be that we are just sitting around doing nothing. Let’s experiment with the bike. See who can go the longest without sweating like a pig. I know I know pigs don’t sweat. Primates sweat the most.

F: I get a handicap in chess and on the bike. 3 pieces and 3 minutes.

B: Dad we will only last 3 minutes and no go on the handicap – chicken.

F: Hey are you still playing with those Saudi guys. What Liam and CJ?

B: Yah and it is fun we have known each other for 3 months now. And Rico and a couple of sisters play too.

F: looks like fun. Sometimes you are just laughing your butt off. But I worry about the violence in the games.

B: It is fun and get over the violence it is less than the news as you say. Words are more violent then gaming.

F: Well excuse me Mr. Sensitive.

F: Hey how is that schooling and piano doing?

B: School is cool, it only lasts a couple of hours and I can turn in my homework in an hour and then done. Piano is going great she took a video of me to show kids how well a beginner can do it with regular practice.

F: I heard she took it to show kids the wrong way. Hihihi

Until we meet again.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Millicent (I just love that name) I learnt early that differences make friends and our difference in age and position makes us stick together in life. What a best friend.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Mary after school, after homework and before piano he just followed me around after interrrupting my writing. We just fired questions back and forth. Man I had so much fun. He asked "Am I bugging too much and talking too much?" LoL Bless his soul -- the highlight of my day.

    • Millicent Akinyi Okello profile image

      Millicent Okello 

      10 months ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      A lesson in life learnt in this Boy teacher and dad student. #friendship in making for life

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      10 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      What fun learning with you both. How much better would the world be if this kind of relationship is in homes?

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora he is just getting "Ode to Joy" down on the piano. I am way behind on my clarinet.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you MG. I can't believe it has been five years that I have been writing this series. I am afraid it may need to be changed to young man instead of boy.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Liz. As I suggested they are getting different to write as he is changing so fast. Today he put it just like this due to our heat and smoke; "OK lets talk about inversion layers". Not "what is" an inversion layer.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      10 months ago from The Caribbean

      You and your son are enjoying each other while keeping each other sharp. Beautiful and meaningful relationship! You've got secret admirers.

    • emge profile image

      MG Singh emge 

      10 months ago from Singapore

      The father-son talks were wonderful. look forward to reading more such stuff.

    • Eurofile profile image

      Liz Westwood 

      10 months ago from UK

      Your account of these conversations gives an interesting insight and a fascinating narrative.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Devika, this time being together so much, well he 90% only has adults (Mom & Dad) to relate to. Gaming and the phone is just not the same. His school zoom is back up so there is some more child interaction there.

      But when generally all you hear is adult talk....

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      10 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Eric this is so nice to be part of a family and be involved in each other's activities. To know how the day was of another family member and to inquire at that age is amazing.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Flourish it is a true blessing to have time to talk things through. At dinner last night my boy asked me "so how was your day?" And we all laughed as we all are so tight now that we know exactly how and what each other are doing.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Lori thank you for coming by and leaving a note. It sure was a hot one. Now we are shivering at 80 Lol (but close) Last night the boy just wanted to sit and talk about stuff. An hour later I hit the hay.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      John those were easy picks for this one. glad you liked them. I sure am enjoying this wild ride.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Linda I am going to go back and look. I wonder if I have grown as a writer as much as he has grown. Probably not ;-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Pamela we are having a lot of fun pushing the boundaries of acceptable behavior right now. It is a 50/50 tie at the moment.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      10 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thanks Bill I had a great day with him. We just switched to Sana Ana's so 50 mph wind and a dry dry dry 100.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image


      10 months ago from USA

      Those temperatures! Heat tends to spark more conflict so it’s admirable that your household is so congenial, especially during pandemic times when we are all trapped together socially distancing often at home.

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 

      10 months ago from United States

      Gabriel is growing up so fast. Your getting closer to Death Valley temps. Yuk.

    • Carb Diva profile image

      Linda Lum 

      10 months ago from Washington State, USA

      Eric, you really SHOULD re-read some of the first Boy-Father sermons; not because you need a refresher course, but because it is amazing how he has grown. This one is really different from the rest. It's like you are speaking with an adult (an intelligent one).

      You've made me happy today.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      10 months ago from Gondwana Land

      Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chaplin and Father and Son by Cat Stevens two all time favourites in this household, so very appropriate for these Boy Teacher and Father Student articles. Still love your discussions and the lessons uncovered.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      10 months ago from Sunny Florida

      I hope you extremely hot temperatures cool down soon. I always enjoy your father son talks. The school work is dne very quickly by that smart son of yours. Continue your fun together and enjoy the time while you have it as this too shall pass. Have a great week.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      10 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Now I have David Bowie stuck in my head.

      113 degrees? Just shoot me. Seriously, put one in my brain pan and be done with it. I heard it was 100 in San Francisco. I thought I heard it wrong, so I looked it up. Sure enough, the City by the Bay, the fog capitol of the U.S., hit 100.

      Again, just shoot me.

      Love the conversations with that little whipper snapper of yours. He's a sharp cookie for sure. You don't good, Dad!


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