The Boy Teacher and the Father Student #90 Changes

We have not come to a crossroads we have come to a “lane merging”. The dynamic has changed. The bulk of communications these days are not so much questions and answers but rather conversations of, dare I say, of an adult nature. Full independence is occurring. The boy’s interests are now his own. He excels in areas I simply cannot teach with any authority that would benefit either of us. So we learn together.

Changes are taking place that are not in either of our control. He is 10+ and larger than his mother. Imagine the growing pains at ½ inch per month. But together we have learned it is not circumstances that control us but rather our reaction to them. He seems to be gaining control as I am losing it. Thank goodness.

B: Dad this remote schooling is going to be weird, I think. They do not know what they are doing. I started on Thursday and they still do not have the exact schedule down yet. I heard you getting loud with mom when she said they did not know how they will break down the subjects yet. It sounded like you thought that she just did not understand it.

F: Well you got that right. But she got her point across. How could she know if they don’t? But that sounded so ridiculous to me that I just assumed she did not get it and would not admit it. I used to hate apologizing. Now it seems so right. This is tough on me.

B: Why is it tough on you? You don’t have to deal with it? Well you know what I mean. Do like me and just go with the flow. Like you say, lower your expectations of others and adjust.

F: You know what bugs me the most is your social education. This is teaching you plenty early that half the time adults do not know what they are doing. Now you will be questioning everything they do, and that is a distraction from learning basics.

B: Dad you taught me to question everything but to not get hung up on the answer. You need to go back and read some of your boy teacher articles. Ha ha ha.

F: My dad used to say “Nobody likes a smartass”. It took me years to figure out why he laughed when he said that. Because in fact most people like a smartass. But it hit’s me that now is the time to be all supportive of the schools. Easy to cut people down when they are struggling. But better to build them up.

B: I got some new school clothes. That just seemed normal to me. Not like usual but you have to look right for the virtual appearance.

F: I was tripping out doing that number stuff in my head. You have been in this social distancing and masks and quarantine stuff for one twentieth of your life. And around a tenth of your schooling. You are doing so great it makes me wonder if it is not a good thing if you know what I mean.

B: I like it and now we walk with our/my friends in the evening and it is fun. How come so many kids on our street go to my school? Oops, never mind.

F: Dang I wanted to answer that one and make fun of you.

B: So how come we don’t go to the same church? Got you there.

F: Check it out, when I was growing up we basically had 6 churches. And almost all the kids in my neighborhood either went to the Catholic one or mine which was Federated. Then there was a Baptist church on the South Side, a Lutheran church and a Mormon church. That is it. And we did not have Muslim, Jewish or any Asian “church/temples”. Can you even imagine?

B: That is weird. That is so wrong. How come?

F: 12 thousand people. Not enough of the other groups to build a church. The very few we had worshipped in people’s homes.

B: Dad I am starting to get this whole deal about history. Some stuff is bad but it still is the history. I learn from my mistakes. Like that idea that for every mess up we learn how not to mess up.

F: How about that deal of “if it works well do it the same way every time”.

B: I was wondering what we are going to be like when we go back to school. I mean all of us spending so much time with our parents. Like when we were talking about your retro words like “boss”, “Cray Cray” and “phat”. But then I thought that we will all be like that a little so it won’t be like we are weird or anything.

F: Remember we are just experiments.

The boy is now talking about one parent to the other parent now. He is actually critical. But in a healthy good way. Who knows what he says about me to mom. I imagine it is about how much I write and my based on “norms” craziness. Probably the fact that he is more tech capable than me. And that sometimes I would rather be dirty than clean.

A heat wave has us quarantined more than Covid. One room in the house with cooling with 113 degrees outside. That puts the boy and I with about 50 feet of each other all day long for days. Now a raging fire nearby that spews ashes and smoke over our home. More inside time.

B: Dad you read too much and I play my gaming too much.

F: I am bored, I don’t even feel like playing chess. Hey let’s play.

B: Let’s play the extended version where we just make moves and then do other stuff. What is that word again when you get used to something?

F: I think you mean acclimate.

B: That’s it. I am getting acclimated to the heat. It does not bother me as much.

F: Your auntie said that for 100 degree temperatures that takes about a month. Interesting, maybe I should read up on that ;-)

B: But it could be that we are just sitting around doing nothing. Let’s experiment with the bike. See who can go the longest without sweating like a pig. I know I know pigs don’t sweat. Primates sweat the most.

F: I get a handicap in chess and on the bike. 3 pieces and 3 minutes.

B: Dad we will only last 3 minutes and no go on the handicap – chicken.

F: Hey are you still playing with those Saudi guys. What Liam and CJ?

B: Yah and it is fun we have known each other for 3 months now. And Rico and a couple of sisters play too.

F: looks like fun. Sometimes you are just laughing your butt off. But I worry about the violence in the games.

B: It is fun and get over the violence it is less than the news as you say. Words are more violent then gaming.

F: Well excuse me Mr. Sensitive.

F: Hey how is that schooling and piano doing?

B: School is cool, it only lasts a couple of hours and I can turn in my homework in an hour and then done. Piano is going great she took a video of me to show kids how well a beginner can do it with regular practice.

F: I heard she took it to show kids the wrong way. Hihihi

Until we meet again.