The Boy Teacher and the Father Student; Preach

Preach has so many meanings. I do preach and my children roll their eyes. I do preaching and people say amen. I do preach and am ignored. And every single day I preach to myself. Is anyone clear what it means to preach? I like the phrase “preaching to the choir” that is really good. Shoot I used to preach to a choir. How fun is that? Everyone says good things.

So I was preaching to my young son about contradictions. Tough stuff. “Everybody loves someone” or somebody does not love. Answer is not important but understanding contradictions is. Preaching is filled with contradictions. Or should I say “teaching is filled with contradictions”.

B: Dad you said it was important to have my outside playtime without you. But I know you watch me.

F: I do not interfere and I watch you because I like to.

B: But it is not my play time if you watch me.

F: I get your point but let an old man enjoy and do not judge or worry about it.

B: But that ruins it for me.

F: You know that I try not to watch you too much.

B: Ok maybe you just let me see you watching because I know you could do it without me seeing.

F: Wow, I need to go to a shrink to figure that out. I will do better. I will work at my computer with my window closed. But then I do not get to see you grow.

B: Dad just leave me alone for a little bit like your said.

F: What I say and what I do may be different. Get it that is a joke. Do you know what hypocrisy is?

B: Boring, you taught me that from the Bible.

F: Kid you worry me with your ability to remember my stupid preaching.

B: So stop preaching to me.

F: Ok we have a deal. I will just say things and you will forget them. Then we are cool right?

B: Esta muy loco papa.

F: Where did you learn that horrible Spanglish?

B: Con tu Padre.

F: See what I mean. You are a sponge. A sponge should take in water but only used with soap. You seem to have no filter.

B: I know that one. Do not just say anything that you think, think about everything you say.

F: There you go again. Play and I will not watch, I promise.

So we grow. I think growing as a parent is more important than growing as a child. Wait that makes no sense. Maybe growing together in synergism makes more sense. I used to teach and preach. But I finally looked back and my good undergraduate professors never did that. They simply guided us to seek answers.

Check this one out. I did a week-long trip on peyote known as a natural psychedelic drug only legal for Native Americans. One trip is spooky but a week of it is out there crazy. I think I was 18 at the time. Do not worry I went on to get a doctorate so know lasting horrible effects. But it changed a course.

B: I do not want to ride bikes today.

F: Why not?

B: too lazy.

F: That’s cool me too. Ten minutes extra of reading and with me.

B: Hey dad, I changed my mind, let’s go ride bikes.

F: Back to contradiction and you know the lecture coming.

B: Dad you are so weird sometimes I do not want you to pick me up at school.

F: Wow that was out of the blue. But we have talked about this. Only you know I am weird. I dress right and act right and no one else knows I am strange.

B: But I do.

F: That is a contradiction. If you think I am weird but no one else does am I weird? Does your A equal other people’s weird and why not?

B: See what I mean. That is weird. You are some kind of, I don’t know what.

F: Ok I get it. I will take it easy and lets play catch and talk about girls.

B: See what I mean. You are crazy, I do not care about girls except for my friends.

F: Raising you is like raising a hammer that only lands on my thumb.

So the eternal struggle goes on. That turning point has arrived. Oh parents be on the alert. Gabe asked me on Sunday if he was smarter than me. Well the logical answer was yes. The parental answer was “not yet”. I cannot figure with my wife and I it is genetic. But then I figure that would be nurture. And that is hard to wrap my head around. Can I have taught him to be brilliant or was he just born that way? Perhaps taking five years off to raise him will make him crazier than I am. Before his death my father warned me of this.

B: Dad my Lego wall hanging stuff is not sticking and it does not work.

F: Son you bought at the dollar store with your recycling money. Did you think it would work?

B: Yes.

F: You do not need what I say next.

B: I know.

F: Move on you only have 60 billion other toys.

B: ya but I wasted a dollar. And it makes me mad.

F: No but you got a thousand dollar lesson and I need not say what it was.

B: I hate you.

F: I love it when you say that. Just like when I beat you in soccer or chess. It is a bad four letter word but fun the way we use it. Kind of like our other bad word -- ?

B: Two, shut up and stupid. You remind me of that too often. Never say them, I know.

F: Well you ain’t as stupid as you look now shut up and listen to the music.

B: Dad that is funny but I know the rule. Don’t tell mom unless she specifically asks. Lying don’t work.

F: Son there is a song and part goes like this; “You can’t please everyone but you got to please yourself” and with your good heart that will work out just fine. I think it was Rick Martin, Garden Party but maybe not. I am getting old and the music don’t look the same.

B: I will look it up. I fact check you.

F: Be true but you don’t need to hurt anyone with all the details.

B: I think I get that dad but let me do like you say and “think on that”.

F: That is what I am talking about. Give the love boy and not what hurts.

You just cannot keep up. So I cannot do well. I have to run like a hobo and catch that train. I do not even know where that engine is taking us to. I just got to hold on and let the ride take me. I am not the conductor I am only a passenger, I did not pay the fare to be on. (Yes that is a Biblical reference) A child in your care is not only a gift but a holy obligation. As love makes us the keeper of our brother it is tenfold with a child. I must be careful not to focus on failures but rather on the child.