- Family and Parenting
The ODD Child
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), is not easy to live with. The out bursts, fits, not listening, is always a fight. The child with ODD can not be reasoned with, and nothing is ever their fault.
When it all started
My oldest daughter was 7, my youngest was 4, and we just brought home their new baby brother. The girls were so happy, and excited to have a brother, but it didn't last long. Within a week my 4 year old daughter started acting out. She would hit her baby brother in the head, then ignore his cries. She would take his bottle, and then laugh at him. When I would ask her why she was doing these things to him, she would tell me she didn't like him, and wanted him to die. I was shocked to hear this from my sweet, loving little girl, that has never been mean a day in her life.
Off to the Doctor we go
I made an appointment with my daughters Dr, told him everything that she had said, and done since bring her baby brother home. His answer to me: Its just a faze, she is jealous that she's not the baby anymore, and she will grow out of it. Ok....
So time went on, and things got worse. My daughter was becoming angry more often, not listening to me like she had before. She did stop hurting her brother, but had started hurting herself. When she didn't get her way she would scream, pull her own hair, and even claw herself.
So back to the Dr we go. Again I explain to him all the things my daughter had been doing. Again he tells me: Its a faze, she will grow out of it. Ok...you told me that 3 years ago, when will she grow out of it? The Dr told me, it's hard to tell, it could last for a while, but it's only a faze.
Learning more about Oppositional defiant disorder
She's not my happy girl anymore
From Bad to Worse
I told myself I was her mommy, and I can handle anything she is going through. No matter what was wrong with her, I wouldn't have her doped up, acting like a zombie, I would deal with the not listening, constant fighting, and even trying to hurt herself. I can do this, im her mom, and I will protect her from herself.
That all changed the day she tried to hang herself. All it took was for some of her friends to laugh at her, and she wanted to end her life, at the age of 10.
This time I called my Dr, who called a child psychiatrist, and her appointment was set for the next day. Diagnosis: Oppositional defiant disorder, ok where do we go from here? Psychiatrist appointments once a month, councillor once a week, and medicine.
Slowly Getting Better
It's been a long hard road for my daughter, and the rest of the family. She is now 14 years old, and not a day goes by without a fight. She still thinks nothing is her fault, she still tells her 5 siblings that she hates them, she still says everyone hates her. Does she still say she hates her life, and wants to die, daily, but not once in the last 3 years has she tried to.
This may not sound like it's better to most, but considering what she was like about 4 years ago it's a lot better.
Her life will never be easy for her, but with the right help hopefully she will never again think it's not worth living.
My Happy Girl
My sweet little girl will never be the same, but she is trying to make the best of her life, while living with ODD. Her councillor has taught her the tools she need to get through everyday life. She has learned things to try and help with her anger.
She is a cheerleader, and it's her life, it gives her something to focus on, and work for.
She still hates me daily, but that's ok because I still have her here to hate me!
She still hates her siblings, and that's ok too, because deep down I know she really doesn't.
For more information on ODD
- Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) - Mayo Clinic
Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) — Learn about symptoms, risk factors and treatment of this mental disorder.