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The Pros And Cons Of Being An Empty Nester

Updated on November 24, 2012
My empty nest
My empty nest

My Empty Nest

I recently became an almost empty nester, (one left, who's hardly ever home). Mainly because my son, the former "chief cook and bottle washer" moved out. On one hand I can say "yea," on the other hand I sigh. Let me explain why. To begin with, for quite a few years now I've relinquished my common areas to my children. I did this for several reasons. For instance,  I wanted them to learn how to be independent, then again I was too busy working, and after relinquishing it I was reluctant to take it back. Well, the decision was made for me, by my son moving out.

I'm becoming reacquainted with my kitchen. Prior to my children taking over the common areas of my home I actually knew where everything was. However, along the way I've had to bite my tongue when something was out of place. Although things were not entirely chaotic, they were done a little differently than what I was use to. I'm now trying to rearrange my kitchen, back to the way it was before I relinquished it, it's kind of fun. I'm even washing dishes by hand, not using the dishwasher and enjoying every minute of it.

The Pros And Cons

Let me give you a few of what I feel are some of the pros and cons of being an empty nester.

  1. Pro, when you put something down it's always where you put it. Con, the problem is you don't remember where you put it, and there is no one to ask or even blame.
  2. Pro, you can cook what you want and not have to consider what anyone else wants. Con, when you don't want to cook there's no one to cook for you.
  3. Pro, When you clean it stays that way. Con, when you don't want to clean there's no one else to do it.
  4. Pro, when you want peace and quiet you have it unconditionally. Con, when you want to share something that you just saw on TV, or the Internet, there's no one there.
  5. Pro, you no longer have to say "quiet." Con, at times it's just a little too quiet.
  6. Pro, if you had a child that could wear your clothes, and wear them they did, now you don't have to share. Con, you could wear their things too, but their things are no longer there for you to wear.
  7. Pro, when the phone rings, it's finally for you. Con, when the phone rings you always have to answer it, no one there to run interference.
  8. Pro, you can watch what you want on TV without compromise. Con, you always watch TV alone.
  9. When you want to take a relaxing bath, you no longer have to hurry, because someone is waiting for the bathroom. Con, there's no one to draw your bath for you, or to bring you that thing you forgot before climbing in the tub.
  10. While riding in the car you get to listen to the program of your choice. Con, there's no one to discuss what you're listening to.

So those are mine, perhaps you have more, please feel free to add yours in your comments.


Clearly there are true pros and cons to being an empty nester, from my prospective no one out weighs the other. I can't really say which I prefer, I do enjoy my children, however I also enjoy my personal time alone. So to you new empty nesters, you decide which you prefer.


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    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 5 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Imogen, it is a mixed bag. Both the peace and quiet, and the loneliness. Thank you so much for stopping and taking the time to leave a comment.

    • Imogen French profile image

      Imogen French 5 years ago from Southwest England

      I can really relate to this, as I am still adjusting to my "empty nest" - all that free time, and a tidy house, and the peace and quiet ... and the loneliness, and missing them, and counting the days 'til they're home for christmas.

      A well written and amusing hub, I especially enjoyed the pros and cons section - you brought a smile to my face :)

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks eslir for the encouragement. I know what you mean by so far, it doesn't seem to last for long these days. Thanks for stopping, see you again soon.

    • esllr profile image

      esllr 7 years ago

      Great Hub Fastfreta, I needed this.Thanks! I'm a new empty far.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Linda for your comment and compliment. You're right it is never only one way, ergo the hub. Again thanks, for stopping and taking the time to leave a comment. See you soon.

    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Linda Rawlinson 7 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      Oh, what a beautiful hub. Thanks for sharing these thoughts :) I have three sons, but they're still very young. At times I look forward to them growing up, and giving me my house back. But at the same time I want them to stay small forever. Not much in life is ever fully one way, or the other, is it?


    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Hello habee, so far it's not hard, but I guess in time I'll probably find it hard. Thanks for stopping, see you soon.

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      I had a hard time with my empty nest, but it wasn't long until the grandbabies began arriving...and arriving...and arriving! lol

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Well hello there Veronica, glad to hear from you. Thanks for stopping as usual. You're great, see you soon.

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

      Awwww! I love this fastfreta. This really help me to see what my mother - an empty nester as well - may go through on a daily basis. Thanks for this little peek into the world of all empty nesters.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Hey there possum lover, thanks for the validation,and for stopping, see you soon.

    • possum lover profile image

      possum lover 7 years ago from the backwoods just to the North of South Carolina

      Down to earth hub, and I'm well aware of the feeling. Have a Happy Possum Day !!!!!

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you QudsiaP1 for leaving that nice compliment.

      Thanks Hello, hello also for the nice compliment, also..

      Thank you both for stopping and leaving those wonderful compliments, and comments, please come back soon.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

      I think you conclusion really summoned it up. Thank you for a splendid hub.

    • QudsiaP1 profile image

      QudsiaP1 7 years ago

      Such a wonderful hub. You are a very good writer.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Rismayanti for stopping and leaving and encouraging comment, see you soon.

    • Rismayanti profile image

      Rismayanti 7 years ago from Tropical Island

      Great hub.. and funny too. Thank for share

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Tom, you're sweet, see you again soon.

    • justom profile image

      justom 7 years ago from 41042

      Great hub Freta, very well done and funny (truthful too!). Peace!! Tom

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      So right Pam, life is good, and yes time alone is wonderful.

      You know Kim when my son was here, I actually had no real complaints, it's only since he left that I can appreciate how much I like being alone.

      Yes Alekhouse, it was an adjustment, but not exactly a bad one.

      Thanks lindacee, you're right it is an opportunity that I'm availing myself of.

      Thank you all for stopping by and leaving those wonderful comments. Please come again.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Freta, It sounds like life is good and I like having some alone time also. I think this is a new chapter in your life.

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 7 years ago

      Love it, Freta! My sidekick is still here and we're getting re-acquainted. I'm completely satisfied with the way he manages the kitchen! The first grandchild arrived a few months ago, and I'm getting to know her. If I had known she was on her way, I might have reconsidered the collie pup I got who is now 80 lbs! The girls are a facebook message away, or a text or email or phonecall or visit. My foundation is still on the bathroom sink where I put it! Thanks for the moment to reflect, Freta.

    • alekhouse profile image

      Nancy Hinchliff 7 years ago from Essex Junction, Vermont

      I really like this hub, Freta. I can totally relate to everything you said. I have two daughters and when they left home, it was quite an adjustment.

    • lindacee profile image

      lindacee 7 years ago from Arizona

      Wonderful article. Sounds like the perfect opportunity to embark on a new life phase. When one door closes, another opens! Have fun!


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