How Effective Fatherhood Makes a Difference

The slogan “Papa was a rolling stone” may be a popular saying in the entertainment industry but it has no merit in a society that is built upon producing strong families and communities. Over worked mothers, shortage of finances, rebellious teens, lack of stability and insecurity can be the results of a missing or negligent father in the home. An actual father in the home doesn’t necessarily make a strong and successful family. What’s most important is whether or not the father is positively influencing the direction in which the family is headed. A father can be present in a family but have absolutely no power to affect family decisions. Such fathers have forsaken their roles and responsibilities for whatever reason. Fathers who do this often lose the respect their spouses and children.

The role of an effective father in the home is to create a sense of unity, confidence, security and progressiveness in his family. Therefore, a father’s activity in the home should be geared toward improving the quality of life for his family and increasing its value in the community. A sign that good fatherhood is occurring is when a home or family stands as a model of unity and excellence in the community.

Fathers who desire to create strong and progressive families can do so by following seven life altering activities:

Foster an atmosphere of love and acceptance

The goal is to create a foundation of unity and strength necessary to deal with the obstacles and challenges that are in the way of progress. When love and acceptance is present in a family, support comes naturally because relationships are strong. Family members work problems out together. For example, when a family member, whether a child or adult, faces a crisis, the others family members are there to lend comfort. Coming of age issues such as peer pressure, identity crisis and temptations of drugs and alcohol needs to be dealt with by loving fathers who encourages their children to make right choices, and doesn’t condemn them when they fail. Instead, he is always standing as source of strength and guidance. Plenty of loving embraces and assurances of support need to be communicated in order to create an atmosphere charged with love and acceptance.

Create a sense of Safety and Security in the home

A father’s activity in the home must affect the state of his family’s happiness and stability. Uncertainty and fear should not be a lingering part of a man’s house. Children often look toward their father for strength, shelter and protection from harmful external forces in society. Although circumstances beyond the control of a father, including unexpected accidents and natural disasters, may strike, it is still a father’s responsibility to have contingency plans as a precaution. A father should gather the family together; discuss the scope of security concerns and ways of responding in a worst case scenario. The world is a place of uncertainty. Anything can happen at any time of the day. By creating a sense of safety and security in the home, a father adequately prepares his family for survival.

Establish good values and principles in his children

Starting with himself, a father must encourage excellence in the character of his children. This occurs when a father teaches his children how to conduct themselves toward siblings first and then toward the rest of society. Schools are full of children who display poor behavior and have little interest in pursuing excellence. Since the reputation of the parents is represented by their children, it becomes very important for a father instill the ingredients of a good character within his children. Such principles as empathy, fairness, kindness, humility, confidence, independence, courage and perseverance help produce good character that can enhance the quality of a community. Individuals that excel in positions of leadership and authority in society are often people who came from families that promoted character and excellence. Therefore, when a father teaches his children to make ethical decisions in every aspect of society, including home life, school life, work place life and community life, he will most likely end up being a proud father with a reputation for magnificence.

Apply Preventive Discipline Measures When Necessary

Bad habits in children are all a part of coming of age. When children are faced with choices of good and bad, many times they choose the latter. In such occasions, the father has an opportunity to apply preventive disciplinary activities to express disapproval and to keep the behavior from becoming a major problem. Preventive discipline should be done early in a child’s life when its power of choice is not as strong. According to CIVITAS, the Institute for the Study of Civil Society, without discipline from a caring father, teenagers are more likely to turn to drugs and alcohol and cause trouble in schools.

The younger a child is, the more it can be shaped into an individual a father and mother can be proud of. When children, especially teenagers, gain more power over their decisions, the application of natural discipline measures might become less effective. In such cases, a father may need outside help in providing guidance and direction for the child. A young people who has fallen victim to alcohol, drugs and crime will often become a major headache for a father who is late on the disciplinary scene. Therefore, a father must be aware of his children needs and conflicts at all stages of their growth and development. This awareness will give him a head start in positively redirecting the lives of his children.

Emphasize Goals, Dreams and Progressiveness

Children without guidance and direction will most likely fail in making quality decisions for their future. A father’s activity in the home must be geared toward helping his children create both short-term and long-term goals as well as discovering and developing hidden talents. Many great athletes such as golf, football, basketball players and the like, have credited their fathers for putting the golf stick, football and basketball in their hands when they were a little more than toddlers. The same is true for many doctors, lawyers and business icons whose fathers taught them to be the best in what they do. Therefore, a father’s role is to instill a success-driven future oriented mentality in his children. Allowing children to drift along in life without goals, dreams and a desire for progressive life is like family treason on the part of the father. A father who desires to be influential in the lives of his children must often call the family together, discuss dreams, create and adjust goals and vigorously support his children’s vision for the future. A father’s activity might mean sacrificing time to attend basketball games and talent shows or providing academic support for a son or daughter pursuing a Master’s or PHD degree. Strong and thriving communities often a result of father who taught their children how dream big.

Develop a Sense of Strong Responsibility toward Work and Society

The father’s activity in the home involves creating within his child (ren) a strong sense of responsibility toward work and society. Great communities and nations have been built by individuals who have been trained to appreciate the hard work it takes to create excellence in life. They run toward challenges instead of running away from them. They are sensitive to the needs of the people around them and search diligently for problems to solve. Movers and shakers of society are eager to take on the burden of revitalizing a crumbling neighbor or city. They are determined to restore peace, prosperity and provisions that help people out of fear and oppression. Starting with himself, a father must demonstrate a pattern of responsibility in the life of his children so that they can appreciate this principle in themselves. Children often grow up imitating the ways of their parents, especially very young children who idolize their parents and desire to be like them. A father’s activity should involve taking his children out to perform community service, regardless how small the task may be. Cutting a neighbors grass, help painting a door or serving in a food pantry are all worthy activities, deserving honor and praise.

Schedule Time for Fun, Games and Recreation

The ultimate goal of fatherhood is to pave the way for his children to experience an enjoyable life. The activity of fathers in the home should not be without fun and laughter. A dull inactive father creates a sense of boredom in the home. His children may avoid home instead of running toward him. From day one, he should hug, smile at and play with his children. Get them to express excitement and joy regard life. He should challenge his children in games such as checkers, chess, monopoly and scrabbles. As for recreational activities, he should take them fishing, bird watching, boating and bicycling. And when on vacation, a father can take his children on resorts that include water parks, camping and hiking. When a father can show his children such fun side of living, they gain a greater appreciation for life as well as a desire to preserve nature and the environment in which they live. A father must not neglect spending quality fun time with his children. If he does it will help enhance all the other activities necessary a strong and progressive family that society can be proud of.

If and when a father applies these seven life changing activities in his home, he will become an icon, not only among member of his family, but also among many people and organizations in society. A child that has been raised to pursue excellence takes the name of his father everywhere. An outstanding father will be referenced by his children at every point of achievement. When his child receives a reward of excellence for any aspect of life, the love, strength and guidance of his or her father will also be rewarded equally. A great father’s memory will live on long after his physical presence has disappeared from the earthly scene.