ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Words My Mother Left Behind - The Mirror, by Barbara J. Neal

Updated on May 22, 2017

Barbara Jean Allen Neal. 9/21/1945 - 1/23/2017

Barbara J. Neal was (will always be) my Mother. Though we knew she kept journals, after her death, only ONE was found. All the pages were torn out except three. Her most deepest thoughts and prayers in a poem.

The Mirror. Written by Barbara J. Neal

I looked into the mirror not long ago it seems
and a young woman was there; she was looking back at me.
She was no beauty that was plain to see,
but i could see the beauty deep inside; it wasn't for just anyone's eyes.

As I looked at this woman and we both smiled, it made me feel really good inside.
At this very moment, I like what I see. God, this woman, She was ME!
I could see the happiness in her smile, her heart filled with love and pride.
She had the love of her husband and children; They were by her side.
THIS woman had no reason to cry.

All of my life, I gave of ME.
My whole life was my family.
I was God's helper, that I could see.
He put me of this Earth; A mother to be.
A job that meant the world to me; taking care of my family.
I never gave thought to what it would mean
to no longer be needed by them, you see.
I didn't know I would be so lonely.

A lot of years have passed and gone.
Why do I feel so alone?
Why didn't my happiness last?
I loved my mate.
In my heart there is no hate.
God has put me through a lot of tests
and he knows I have done my best.

Now when i look into the mirror I see
a tired old lady looking back at me.
Why God? How can this be?
The young woman is gone;
Vanished without a trace.
This tired old lady has taken her place.
There are tears running down my face.

Her smile is gone, only sadness I see.
Who is this old lady in the mirror looking at me?
Please God, Don't let it be.
Tears and pain are all I can see.
This woman is not hapy like I used to be.
The young, smiling woman, that I used to be;
She's hiding here inside of me.
Please God, she wants to be free.
I don't like what I see.
This tired old lady; Is this really me?

The years of my life have passed by
that is why I cry.
I know the mirror, it doesn't lie.
I don't want to die lonely, with no one by my side.

(continued... keep scrolling)

I heard a voice tell me not cry; but to wait.
Soon God will meet you at the Golden Gate.
He will tell you to have no fear;
There is no reason for tears.
You will not be lonely with ME here.
Now look into MY mirror;
stand along side me.
As I looked into God's mirror
the old lady was gone.
Someone else had taken her place.
And there in God's light I could see
There was this young woman looking back at me.
A beautiful smile was upon her face.
All signs of aging had been erased.
There were no tears in the lady's eyes.
She wasn't lonely anymore.
There was no hurt or pain; only love.
Happiness I see on her face again.
I have your soul; I have the key
the woman you are inside has just been set free.
This happy smiling woman is ME.
This is the way I know it will be
with God throughout eternity.
So I will wipe my tear all away
and try to hide it from everyone I see
This horrible feeling of being alone is killing me
The hurt grows deeper by each passing day.
Please God help me, make it go away.

She's free now. Young and Smiling.

I envision my Mother's entrance into Heaven. She feels energy, and wholeness she hadn't felt in a long time. Her heart full as she greets her own Mother at the gate. I see God put an arm around her shoulder and turn her toward a mirror and I see her laugh with delight as she takes in the young, smiling woman she was always meant to be. Her pain gone, her heart full and not broken. I can hear her voice as I type. She's singing and it's beautiful.


© 2017 Kelly Pittman


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)