The mom Diary 2
Welcome to my diary
My first born son was due January 20th. I obtained stable housing on this day, December 17 2015. That's about 10 months I spent basking in hormones. 10 months I spent dreamily unaware just how refreshing parenting was going to turn out. That is about 10 months I spent living out of motels, couch surfing and in some situations; camping alongside the river. Even so, as the winter rolled around and the frost and rains nipped at my core; I find myself now sitting here exactly one year later (a sleeping baby besides me) typing this article.
My purpose is simple really. To advocate for motherhood. And I`m not talking just working middle class privileged mothering. Although I have no issue with those mothers I feel that this diary should be specific to my everyday mother. For the single mothers, whom I will never get around to understanding strength. For my impoverished and homeless mothers, who's spirits soar. And for all my mothers who are too concerned with medical bills or funeral cost to remember that this season only exist for consumers. I write for the mothers that this society won't see. For the mothers whose children live instead of here on earth but deep within their souls. For my own mother, who couldn't stop being a mom even after my father was shot multiple times in the spine. You are not alone with your thoughts. And I refuse to to not bring light to some of the strongest spirited, underpaid, underappreciated everyday mothers of this world.
The first day I returned from the hospital with my son I felt almost blinded by the time I got back into my apartment. Honestly, I cannot remember much of the pain and the depth of the strenuous journey seems to have faded away every moment longer that I live with my son. By and by I feel no particular reason to focus on that extensive journey in which I lived while being pregnant but instead I would like to acknowledge what I think to be beauty and peace within myself since having my son join me here outside of my womb. Firstly; can we just all take the time to appreciate how new and fresh our babies are! There was a feeling of honor and fear in holding my child in the early days. I kept thinking to myself, take me back to when I was this young; when I looked up at you and was ok with this world. And as my son grows I only find myself in more awe than before as his smile has evolved into fits of laughter and his eyes have only grown more and more wide. This is simple beauty to me and if no one has told you please let the first time mother tell you; there is something special in watching a baby grow. In watching anything grow really one could experience a special connection, but to grow and carry a being inside of you just to have him slowly pulled out of you and shoved into your face; I've never experienced anything quite like it.
Now I speak out for us mothers and I want to continue to share my own motherly perspective. I want this diary to be a resource. I can sit around breastfeeding and typing about trivial mom drama all day. And I can can focus on serious barriers and road blocks we experience daily as this diary is for us, therefore I feel the content of it will be best with an honest and raw approach. We are mothers; struggling, single, stressed out and hardworking mothers. Here is a story by a mom for the moms and what better story than ours!
© 2017 Christa Canady