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What Is The Right Way To Raise Children

Updated on February 24, 2015

There are different parenting styles, but not all of them are good strategies to raise your child. Parenting is the most important, most rewarding, and most demanding role a human being could ever undertake. All parents would like to have great kids, but they rarely ask themselves what kind of parents would their children like to have. There is no formula for best parents or raising children. Parents do what they know best and what they can accomplish in a given moment.

So, what does it mean to be a good parent or have a good parenting style? The best parent works on himself (herself), tries to correct mistakes and communicates with children, manages family conflicts and protects children from addictions and other negative situations.

There is always the possibility to improve parenting skills no matter what we are like.

To have better children, parents themselves have to be better.

The Best Parenting Styles

10 tips to be a better parent and raise emotionally healthy children

#1 Show love with words and actions

Loving children and showing them just how much you love them isn´t really the same. By showing love you create a warm family atmosphere and give your children a sense of safety. If you are a nervous person, you must work on yourself and avoid yelling and grumbling – this will make your child nervous and unsecure. The children will probably ask for more attention in all the wrong ways: by imitating you – yelling and grumbling.

Say to your children that you love them, hug them and kiss them, smile at them and always take their emotions in consideration. Showing love to your children will nourish the emotional health of your children.

#2 Be a better wife / husband

Fostering marital relationship is of key importance in the process of raising children as their skills and virtues are based on the perception of the relationship between mother and father. If a child witnesses unfriendly and cold behavior, fights, blackmailing, scorning and similar negative manners, it will become intolerant and unable to show love, work out a partnership or friendship. Being a better wife or husband also means being a better parent because children who witness support, understanding, encouragement, praise, acceptance and compromise are likely to have high emotional intelligence. Think of your marriage as a parenting style, too - it reflects on the life of your child.

#3 Communicate with your children and gain respect

Developed communication channels inside the family are the foundation for healthy communication skills with the external world. Successful communication results in your children having respect for you as a person and as parent. Children who respect their parents usually stay out of trouble and handle everyday situations better than other children.

#4 Have your children eat only healthy foods

One of the most important parenting styles is the way you feed your children. Parents sometimes neglect the fact that we are what we eat. Children may become very sensitive and nervous if you don´t feed them with healthy foods. Healthy nutrition is important for the overall balance of the body and the central nervous system – it affects mood and behavior. Have breakfast together if possible – get up earlier in the morning to eat together, plan the day and kid around. Children who have breakfast usually do better in school than those who skip breakfast.

#5 Always point to the positive side of things

If you point to the positive side of things you develop positive feelings and thoughts in your children. Do that even when bad things are happening in your life. Maybe you can´t change the situation, but you can change the attitude. Help your child to think positive, with optimism and to make the best of situations.

#6 Show humility and fairness

Admit when you are wrong and correct your mistakes. Apologize if necessary. Ask for forgiveness. Showing humility and fairness is the basis for building trust and respect. Playing the big boss in the house is not the best parenting style; you want your children to love you, respect you, and have trust in you. You don't want them to fear you.

#7 Make gratitude a habit

Practice gratitude yourself and make it habit. Pass this habit on to your children because gratitude creates positive vibrations, positive thinking and feeling. Don´t be pessimistic! Gratitude results in optimism and optimism is the key to success.

#8 Criticism

Criticize your child´s behavior and not the child. Children must keep their dignity knowing that the problem is not inside them but in the behavior which is easy to change. If you criticize the child, it may think that there is something wrong with it and it may develop complexes, the feeling of guilt and incompetence. Try to influence the change in behavior by being an example.

#9 Make approvals

If your child is very good at something or if it really tries to do something well, be thrilled with it and show your enthusiasm. making approvals is one of the best parenting styles - give support, encourage your children, show understanding, and don´t expect too much from them.

#10 Be a disciplinarian if necessary

Children sometimes need strict parents. Parents are also friends, but friends are not parents. Therefore, parents are there to introduce some rules and explain why these rules are good for them. Yet, remember not to be too tough – control your children, but leave space for possibilities of their own choice. If you control them too much, they may become dependent, insecure and distrustful when it comes to their own identity and ideas. Being too mild may also have negative impacts on their character. A mature and balanced person will become of a child with free choices who also follows a certain set of rules. Whatever the parenting style, you must be consistent when raising children; if you punish your child for something and next time you let it do the same thing because you are too tired to react, your child will be confused, it won´t understand what is allowed, and what isn´t.

Remember, your children are the reflection of your own behavior!

How to cultivate mutual respect between parents and children

Many parents won't give up punishment thinking that permissiveness is the only solution. They believe that co-operation is a "one-way street" in which children do what parents tell them to do.

Yet, permissiveness as a parenting style, brings along long-term dangers: their children are likely to become dependent and insecure. And, co-operation is a two-way process in which parents and children work together.

To look inside the book, please click on the amazon link.
To look inside the book, please click on the amazon link.

An alternative to outdated parenting patterns and the new manual in child and parent relationships is the book Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson. The tools presented in the book give parents the chance to positively affect their children and family. The authors went beyond the quick-fix and disciplinary techniques providing a foundation for child and parent relationship and communication skills.

Every parent would like to have influence with their children, pass on values and guide them through life to accomplish happiness and success. Do parents ever ask themselves if they can have most influence with lecturing and taking these values to task or by living those values themselves?

Although we already know that actions speak more than words, this book is an excellent guide for parents who want respect and co-operation. It describes 7 keys which develop parent's capacity to establish a loving home, a place where all members' needs are equally valued and everybody is doing their best to meet these needs. Following these steps, fault-finding, punishment and reward lose trace, and the best parenting styles take gain. There are also games, activities, and cut-outs for developing skills and fun things to do together.

* * *

Clear and non-violent communication with respect is what you need to give to a child and it will respond equally.

"The best way to change our children is to change ourselves." (Natalija and Dariusz Domin)

Parenting styles play a big role in raising a child so make sure to use the best parenting styles possible!

This article is protected under copyright law. No copying allowed.
This article is protected under copyright law. No copying allowed.

Your thoughts about parenting styles...

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    • vox vocis profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Unfortunately, a lot of parents tend to criticize their children. Some of them never have a word of praise. I always get criticized by my father, but then again, he criticizes everything and everybody. Thanks for stopping by, moonlake :)

    • moonlake profile image


      7 years ago from America

      Good advice. I still get criticized by my mother and I know how much it bothers me even at this age. Voted Up

    • vox vocis profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thanks for the comment and the votes up, Ricky! The emotional health and moral values in our children depend on how we treat them and what we teach them. Good parents raise good kids.

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 

      8 years ago from West Virginia

      Voted up, useful, and interesting Jasmine. Wise tips my friend. I am fortunate to have two beautiful children, hoping for 3 more:) Seriously? Yep. I love my babies and I have been blessed where I will soon be able to take care of them all. I try to teach my oldest son about values and respect. I believe it goes a long way. I show them affection, just how much I love them. They are my life. Great tips Jasmine! Hard work never goes unnoticed!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      If you control them too much, they may become dependent, insecure and distrustful when it comes to their own identity and ideas. I can confirm that in myself.

    • CMHypno profile image


      9 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

      I don't have any children, and think that raising children must be one of the hardest tasks that you can possibly take on. But the rewards must be huge and there must be so much pleasure in seeing your children grow happy, healthy and respectful

    • Edlira profile image


      9 years ago

      Very interesting hub, thanks for sharing. Best, Edlira.

    • sugarcream143 profile image


      9 years ago from Hong Kong

      Very useful insight, thank you

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 

      9 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      I have never been blessed with children, God's choice not mine, but I love children and I have many friends who will find this very interesting reading. Thank you!

    • vox vocis profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Dear Specialk3749 and bettybarnesb, thank you for your comments and I am glad you agree. I´ve witnessed all the opposite behaviors in a certain family lately and I saw what a negative impact they had on children. I like reading psychological themes and so decided to write this hub inspired by writings of the Talidari couple who run the Life School NGO. Hopefully, this article will be useful to many parents and turned from words to actions :-)

    • bettybarnesb profile image


      9 years ago from Bartlett, TN

      This is probably the "best" article I have ever read on parenting. It should be published beyond the hub community. I raised 4 children and could identify with much you have written. God Bless You.

    • Specialk3749 profile image

      Karen Metz 

      9 years ago from Michigan

      Very good advice! Thank you for something sound that parents can use.


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