- Family and Parenting
The worst thing about being a mom sometimes is how we feel
I hate being a mother
Yes. That is right. Sometimes I hate being a mother!! Why? Because sometimes I feel just so helpless and useless. And I bet I am not the only mother who has ever felt this way.
Most mothers would lay down their own life to take care of their children. But sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop your babies from hurting.
So what are these situations that make mothers feel so bad?
The first situation for me that makes me feel useless, is when my babies are poorly. We can get them help and medicine. But we can not take the illness away from them. We can not take the pain from them. Whether that be a simple virus to cancer. A mother would do anything to swap places with that child, and it just is not possible. That hurts. You are left feeling on the outside watching doctors doing tests and giving needles to your children and you have to just stand there.
The second issue that comes to mind is when we find a child is being bullied at school. We may be able to go and talk to the teachers and head. But usually, not that much gets done. Because the bully in question will have so many issues, they don't care to listen and there is no reasoning with them.
You as a mother are left with the fall out. Signs to look for that your child may be being bullied are.
A sudden increase in being ill and tummy aches needing time off school.
Bad behaviour in a child that otherwise never usually plays up.
Go into the school yard with them. Watch their body language. You will notice they tense and become reserved when the perpetrator gets nearer. I noticed this with my oldest child. She would be running about playing and laughing, a boy picking on her would walk onto the yard and she would suddenly cling on to me for dear life. I then had a chat with my then four year old daughter and found the boy was constantly pushing her and being heavy handed. It only stopped because he moved up a year and away from the pre school part of the school.
When other children are hurting my children, that is the only time I ever feel like I could physically hit another child. But the kinder person in me always wants to find out what is wrong with the other child. I have done this at least on three separate occasions, but have learnt the hard way that whilst trying to help the other child, they come straight back and hurt your child again. You are too close to the situation. Report it and walk away. Protect your own child.
My ethics are teach your child to deal with things amicably. Report the incident to a teacher. If it is persistent and adults are not helping. Punch the other child and see if they get the message. Yeah, shock horror. But that is the ugly dog eat dog values of life. Sometimes it has to be the solution. I just make sure my children know it is not the first solution.
Nothing you do will make you feel better. But never underestimate the power of your love and attention on a child who is suffering and needs you. It is not until you see a child that has missed out on this luxury that you realise how cherished you are to that child.
So you guessed it. I do not hate being a mother. But it made you read on didn't it? I just hate feeling like a helpless mother. Any mother who feels perfect just isn't doing it right.x