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The worst thing about being a mom sometimes is how we feel

Updated on March 28, 2012

I hate being a mother

Yes. That is right. Sometimes I hate being a mother!! Why? Because sometimes I feel just so helpless and useless. And I bet I am not the only mother who has ever felt this way.


Most mothers would lay down their own life to take care of their children. But sometimes there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop your babies from hurting.

So what are these situations that make mothers feel so bad?

The first situation for me that makes me feel useless, is when my babies are poorly. We can get them help and medicine. But we can not take the illness away from them. We can not take the pain from them. Whether that be a simple virus to cancer. A mother would do anything to swap places with that child, and it just is not possible. That hurts. You are left feeling on the outside watching doctors doing tests and giving needles to your children and you have to just stand there.


The second issue that comes to mind is when we find a child is being bullied at school. We may be able to go and talk to the teachers and head. But usually, not that much gets done. Because the bully in question will have so many issues, they don't care to listen and there is no reasoning with them.

You as a mother are left with the fall out. Signs to look for that your child may be being bullied are.

A sudden increase in being ill and tummy aches needing time off school.

Bad behaviour in a child that otherwise never usually plays up.

Go into the school yard with them. Watch their body language. You will notice they tense and become reserved when the perpetrator gets nearer. I noticed this with my oldest child. She would be running about playing and laughing, a boy picking on her would walk onto the yard and she would suddenly cling on to me for dear life. I then had a chat with my then four year old daughter and found the boy was constantly pushing her and being heavy handed. It only stopped because he moved up a year and away from the pre school part of the school.


When other children are hurting my children, that is the only time I ever feel like I could physically hit another child. But the kinder person in me always wants to find out what is wrong with the other child. I have done this at least on three separate occasions, but have learnt the hard way that whilst trying to help the other child, they come straight back and hurt your child again. You are too close to the situation. Report it and walk away. Protect your own child.

My ethics are teach your child to deal with things amicably. Report the incident to a teacher. If it is persistent and adults are not helping. Punch the other child and see if they get the message. Yeah, shock horror. But that is the ugly dog eat dog values of life. Sometimes it has to be the solution. I just make sure my children know it is not the first solution.


Nothing you do will make you feel better. But never underestimate the power of your love and attention on a child who is suffering and needs you. It is not until you see a child that has missed out on this luxury that you realise how cherished you are to that child.


So you guessed it. I do not hate being a mother. But it made you read on didn't it? I just hate feeling like a helpless mother. Any mother who feels perfect just isn't doing it right.x



Comments

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  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    5 years ago from UK

    There are always things kids aren't going to get that they are after don't feel bad if they are warm, clean and fed.

  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    6 years ago from UK

    I suppose it will. I see the experience you are having now in my mother, as I have young siblings that are in their 20s and cause my mother worry and stress, whether direct or indirectly.

  • rebeccamealey profile image

    Rebecca Mealey 

    6 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

    My children are grown and I still hate when they are sick! I guess that it will always be this way!

  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    6 years ago from UK

    Certainly do don't we? I appreciate you dropping by and commenting.x

  • Brett.Tesol profile image

    Brett Caulton 

    6 years ago from Thailand

    Although I am not a parent, as a teacher I could relate to a lot of what you were saying. Even when your dog gets sick you can panic, I can't imagine how that feels when it is your child.

    Thanks for sharing.

  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    7 years ago from UK

    That is in my future elfwalker. But I have an understanding of what you mean through watching my own mother.

  • profile image

    elfwalker 

    7 years ago

    The worst thing about being a mother is knowing they are grown up and still wanting to help them. I love that my daughter is her own person and I know that's one of the hallmarks of a successful mother...that you no longer have your job. But my heart aches for her when she's stubbornly allowing herself to be hurt because she can't see any other way and also because she doesn't want to rely or listen to me. Then it's only silent love and waiting and that's what I really hate about being a mother to that wonderful person.

  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    7 years ago from UK

    Barbara, Thank you for leaving me a comment. It is the worst pain in the world.

    Tina, there should be a national mother day off. Free child care for one day a year, lol.

    Chaselane, I think aas long as home is safe, I guess we are helping.

    KoffeeKlatch, I always feel like I would go to school and deal with the crap for them if I were aloud.

  • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

    Susan Hazelton 

    7 years ago from Sunny Florida

    There is nothing so bad as not being able to help your child when they are hurt. As a mother you would rather be hrt yourself. I guess it's all a part of being a mom.

  • chaselane profile image

    chaselane 

    7 years ago

    I certainly agree... I want my kids to always feel happy and comfortable wit their lives but sometimes things aren't working our way and we just can't stop things from hapening.

  • TinaAtHome profile image

    TinaAtHome 

    7 years ago from California

    No one told me it was a 24/7 job. I hate the fact I never get a day off. BTW I'm frinh on WebAnswers, I followed your link.

  • Barbara Kay profile image

    Barbara Badder 

    7 years ago from USA

    All Moms feel this way sometimes. It is hard when we can't stop the hurt our child feels.

  • Ddraigcoch profile imageAUTHOR

    Emma 

    7 years ago from UK

    Mellymoo, Thank you. We need more mums to realise they are doing their best.

    Bbnix, I did want to inject a bit of humour. I am glad I conveyed it across.

    Fay, It is a fantastic journey to be on. It is heart wrenching when we can not be super mum though.x

  • profile image

    Fay Paxton 

    7 years ago

    Here, here! I say it all the time, motherhood is wonderful, but like anything worthwhile it has it good days and bad.

    I had occasions when I would try to be stern with my girls and they would sit patiently while I ranted and when I finished they always burst into laughter. What can I say, I'm a pushover.

    My most difficult task was telling them no.

    voted up

  • bbnix profile image

    bbnix 

    7 years ago from Southern California

    You made me laugh and cry here Dd'.

    I know now, as you undoubtedly know, my son, having just had his 22nd birthday (my baby's grown up =/), is strong, wise, loving, and a gift, not to just his mother and I, but to everyone who knows him, because, we spent every waking second watching over him and caring for him, good and bad...

    And as far as Robin knowing where stuff is, MellyMoo (love that name), even though she had nothing to do with it ... after 28 years married together, she still never cease to amaze me that she's the one that can find it... :)

  • MellyMoo profile image

    MellyMoo 

    7 years ago from Australia

    Good on you for writing this. It is the truth! I stopped trying to be perfect and have the perfect house long ago. Every mother feels helpless on a regular basis but only some are brave enough to admit it!!!! I hate it when my children expect me to know everything cos I just don't and I don't like saying "I don't know" but I do. I also hate it how as the mother, I am expected to know where everything is, even though I didn't see the darn thing in the first place. There are many difficult things about being a mum, that's for sure. All we can do is do our best I guess. Again, congrats on being a brave mum!

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