ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Thinking of Having a Baby

Updated on April 27, 2012

You're a Couple

You've had or are going to have sex

For those of you thinking about having a baby, you might first take a good look at your relationships. There are several relationships you need to look at. Let’s start with your parents.

How do you get along with your parents? Are you on good terms with them? How could your relationship with them be better? Do you live with both parents? If your parents are divorced, do you play one against the other? Be honest many children do this with their parents. It’s much harder if your parents are still married. How long have your parents been married? What is good about their relationship? Have you talked to them about relationships? Ask your mom how she met your dad. How long did they date before getting married? Ask your dad the same question. Ask them how they feel about each other today. Is it different from when they were first dating? When they first married? These are some things you might want to know.

Now let’s look at your relationship with your boyfriend? How long have you been dating? Have you had sex yet? Has it been protected sex? How many other guys have you dated? Take a long hard look at this man of your dreams. Get a piece of paper; fold it down the middle length ways. On the left side write good things, on the right side put things I really don’t like. Now, make a list of all the things that are good about this Mr. Wonderful. Start with his looks, then his habits, then his personality. When you are done, look at him very carefully and list all the things you don’t like about him. Does he smoke? Drink? Does he party every week-end? Drive recklessly? Do drugs? Swear constantly? Does he hit you? Has he finished school? Does he have a job? How does he dress? What are his manners like? Does he attend church? Does he have any beliefs?

Next, what is your relationship with his parents? Do you even know them? What are they like? Do they like you? Do you feel comfortable around them? Would you be comfortable spending a lot of time with them? Remember these will be your child’s other grandparents. Are they good with kids? Talk to his mom about how she met his dad. Are you comfortable talking to her? It might be a good idea to make another list.

Now that you have some lists and have had some conversation. It’s time you talk with Mr. Wonderful. Does he want children? If so, when? Can he support them? Is he ready to make a life time commitment? Look at your list of things you don’t like. Many of these you won’t be able to change. Harping and nagging will not make a difference.

Put your lists away. I want you to make a promise to yourself that you will not act in anyway to get pregnant or push the issue of commitment for six months. At that time, take out your lists and look at them again. Are there any changes that you need to make? Have there been changes in your relationship? Have you changed?

If after six months you still think he is Mr. Wonderful and you have no major changes, find someone you trust that you can talk to. This could be a teacher, counselor, clergy, best friend, parent of a friend, but it needs to be someone you can really trust. Show them your list. Talk to them about relationships. See what they have to say.

In my book, So You Think You Want to be a Mommy? I interviewed several young mothers. Only one had been in a relationship for any length of time and even her relationship could not stand the stress of a pregnancy. If you think the guys you date in high school are your future husband, you are probably wrong. Ask any girl twenty-five or older about the guys she dated in high school and looking back would she want to be with them or married to them now. You might be surprised at the response you get.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)