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5 Signs You're Married to Sociopath

Updated on December 11, 2019

The term sociopath is used to describe those with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD). People that have ASPD are not able to understand the emotions and feelings of others and they often make decisions and actions without considering how it will affect those around them. When people think of sociopaths, murderers usually come to mind, but unlike psychopaths, sociopaths mostly kill your self-esteem, peace of mind, trust, finances, mental health, and etc. Being closely involved with a sociopath can have long term affects on your mental and emotional health and cause problems in other areas of your life. There is not a cure for a person with this disorder, although their destructive ways can decrease over time. The only help is for the people around them being educated on what a sociopath is so they realize you are not someone they can continue to prey on. You also have to determine if this is something that you want to stick around for and if they are worth it.

1. They are a Compulsive Pathological Liar

Everyone tells a lie or two every now and again. You may have told a lie to make yourself seem a little more interesting and many people lie in order to get themselves out of immediate trouble or danger. Sociopaths lie to get a personal gain for themselves and have no regard for who gets hurt in the process. It is fun and exciting for them to deceive someone else. They will say whatever they need to at the time to get what they want and they do not care about the consequences of their lies or what affect it will have on others. In the context of a marriage, your spouse may tell you that one of your relatives flirted with them in order to destroy your relationship with your relative because they don't like them. Do they care if you never speak to a person you really loved anymore or have a fight with them because of a lie? No! They only care about the result that they want to accomplish.

This sign may have even manifested before you married them. For example, they may have told you extravagant stories about themselves to get you to like them and didn't think about in the long term when you find out that none of it is true. All they care about at the time is getting you to be with them. Telling you they come from a family of money or that they know or been around a famous person that they never met. You may have not even found out that they have children until well into the relationship or you found out from one of their relatives that they told them something about you that wasn't true at all.

A sociopath I know used to love to just talk to women online in order to just lie to them and make promises he knew he would not keep and when they are expecting him to show up or do what he says, he just simply ghost them. He even laughed when telling a story about a woman who left him a voicemail sobbing uncontrollably because he promised he would come to Jamaica to meet her and he never had any intentions of showing up. She bought him a ticket and everything. He was in contact with her all the way up to telling her that he was at the airport and about to board the plane.

2. They Constantly Cheat on You

No matter how many times you have caught them, no matter how many times you have cried and begged them to stop, they continue to cheat on you and betray you. After you catch them they promise you that they will never do it again and seem so sincere in their apology. Many couples deal with infidelity, but when the cheater sees how much pain that they put their spouse through it is usually enough for them to not do it again. But, not a sociopath. They may be sorry in the moment, but only because they got caught. They also don't have enough decency to just leave you alone. They will win their way back in your heart with promises, gifts, and whatever they have to do to get another chance.

It doesn't matter how good you are to them. You can give them a life they never dreamed of. Buy them a car, clothes, provide a roof over their head, and give them money, but their only loyalty is to their wants and needs. You can cook, clean, do their laundry, never cheat on them and remain loyal... You guessed it, they still will cheat on you. Sometimes they cheat because they are just bored; they don't care about your feelings, just their own. A lot of the time it is not even to personally hurt you or because of something you did; it is simply because the opportunity presented itself and it is something they wanted to do.


3. They Never Take Responsibility for Their Actions

When it comes to sociopaths, someone else is always to blame for things going wrong. Do you always find yourself defending everything that you do or things that those around you do, but when it comes to your spouse and their wrongdoings, they always have an excuse? This is because a sociopath doesn't feel any guilt for the things that they do. They always feel their is a valid reason for their actions no matter if they are right or wrong. For example, if they break the door handle on the car, they will just laugh it off as a simple mistake and accident, but if one of their children break it off they will yell at them and make them feel horrible for making the same mistake. One possible way to combat this is to continue to remind your spouse of them making the same mistake and they did not react the same way. But, you may have found out that even when you try this, they start to say things like "I would never do anything stupid like that" and deny that they ever did anything similar. It is a constant mind game with them.

4. Gaslighting

Gaslighting helps the sociopath with not taking responsibility for their actions by manipulating you psychologically into questioning your own sanity. One of the most stressful forms of gaslighting I have experienced is being told that "You keep making yourself mad about the situation". They know that they are the ones that hurt you, but they are not going to take responsibility for that and they feel because they get over things really quickly, that you should be able to do the same.

5. They Love-Bomb You After Hurting You, Then Hurt You the Same Way Again

So, you just found out they were cheating on you, or you just caught them in another devastating lie. Immediately they start to love-bomb you with buying you whatever you want, bringing you food, giving you massages, and begging for your forgiveness. They constantly tell you that they are never going to do those actions again and how stupid they were and how you didn't deserve it. Then, two days later, you catch them doing the same thing again. This will not stop until they are just tired of doing it and it isn't fun anymore. There is nothing that you can personally do to stop it yourself besides leaving them.

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