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Un-Father's Day Tribute to Good Fathers

Updated on December 14, 2012

Note: Names and pictures are changed to protect privacy



In my humble opinion, a good father is more precious than any jewel on earth whether to a daughter or a son. It would be hard to say which benefits from good fathering more. But this will be about the father-son relationship.


Obviously there are great fathers whose situations have frustrated their ability to fully demonstrate their love and aptness in the role. There are those who demonstrate it daily and constantly, due to a set of fortuitous circumstances which allow them to express the goodness in themselves. But to either set of circumstances, I feel a desire to pay full tribute.


No one else can fully know the situations producing either of these scenarios. But a father’s heart can almost be FELT and observed when it it sincere and true. We know many men whose fatherhood has been interrupted by truly sad and undeserved situations and our hearts go out to them. No matter what a parent - either parent - may have done to each other - the children need to experience the genuine love of both and unless domestic offenses include mistreatment of the children, they should not be deprived of either parent.

But all that is not an issue I wish to address here or now. It is the goodness of fathers in any set of circumstances which I do want to praise and recognize, and their deserving this does not rely on any circumstances other than that it IS and will demonstrate itself plainly if allowed to do so. Even in situations in which a parent has been deprived of the opportunity and access to bestow his or her love - that love is no less admirable. At times the willingness to not tear at the children in an untenable situation may be the most loving act the exiled parent can demonstrate. Using children as pawns is too despicable for words. And we know there are cases of that among us. Again, that is not the subject here. But that even in such improbable circumstances, real love can and will be demonstrated, is part of this presentation.






What brought this subject, though - of the sweetness of a father-son relationship to my mind on this particular Sunday in November, 2010 was looking out my kitchen window across the alley at a tender scene which brought me to be reminded of the essential role a father plays in a child's life, and my attention was focused on the role-model part of that relationship, especially of a father and a young son.





But first, please let me elaborate a little on the background of the scene I observed and the characters of the people involved, as I have been able to observe over some time.




Good Neighbors


Nowadays, one often only gets to know neighbors slightly - but the good folks come through as good, nevertheless. I am blessed with several such neighbors on either side and across the alley. We don't cling to each other - but it is nice to know they are there and would "do for" me and each other with willing and gracious hearts. I could write a whole article about the kindness of some of these fine folks. Here, I merely want to set the scene for the sweet relationship I have been privy to simply by observation, witness. So I want to introduce you to the principle players in it.

Several years ago, when my beloved was still alive, two twins - Sue and Jane (not their real names) - moved into the house whose backyard is on the alley across from ours. We spoke only casually since they were young and had their own lives, work, friends, parties, etc., so we didn’t know much more about them than was readily observeable, and once in awhile we might share quick chat with them or their parents, on occasions when they arrived in the daytime when the girls were at work, when they came by to tend to the girls' yard. We were fascinated at this sweet generosity which they obviously wanted to do and enjoyed doing with their free time, while the girls' free time seemed more limited. The nature of their work meant that their schedules didn't coincide to pitch in and do yard work together on a mutual day off.

Their house is in this middle-to-upper class neighborhood which is mostly occupied by retired folks who originally bought these houses brand new decades ago. It's rather rare for younger folks to move into the neighborhood now, though not unheard of.

The girls seemed content in their arrangement and life went on quietly until, a few years ago, changes began to emerge when a "POD" appeared in their driveway and Jane seemed to be stashing things into it. Sure enough, after a few weeks, the POD was removed, and before long, Jane was no longer to be seen coming and going. She seemed not to be living there. Before long, there was a young man to be seen there.

I don’t consider myself a nosey neighbor; I have more than enough to keep my mind jumping to keep up with my projects and interests, but all this change was impossible to not notice! Couldn’t help but notice Sue and the young man frequently sitting out on the patio during their at-home times. So there they were, in plain view from the rooms where I usually spend most of my time!

Various changes happened. It was obvious that they both work in professional capacity, according to their business attire and the hours and days they go to work.

After my darling had passed away, another neighbor across the alley, while helping me in various ways with some of my chores, mentioned that she'd had the opportunity to meet Sue’s boyfriend. So - the natural question was answered. I'd no idea whether or not they were married, nor did it matter; I just didn't know, but then - I did, and I felt much good will for them.


One day I was out in my backyard having an issue with the yard sprinklers, when the young man appeared nearby and generously offered to help me with it! He introduced himself as “Jane’s boyfriend,Lon” in a totally up-front way, which I highly respected. I noticed that he had the most beautiful eyes I may ever have seen on a human being. As an artist, I couldn’t help but notice

A few more years droned on for the neighborhood, The young couple hosted Christmas Bar-B-Qs and occasionally other parties, but mostly they just came from and went to work, sat out on the patio and let the dogs out to exercise before returning inside. It was a normal quiet neighborhood.

Once I got out some freezer-burned roast beef which was too poor to cook but too good to discard without trying to offer it to them for their dogs. One never knows what sort of a reception such an offer will receive but Sue was most gracious and it did my heart good to be able to do that. She still has "Roscoe" - the dog who was there when she and Jane were the occupants. Roscoe always barked at me when I was out in the yard till I called him by name and spoke to him in friendly tones. Now there have been other dogs added to the household.

What is great to see is that everyone seems genuinely congenial. I just feel happy for them.

Still the focus of this tribute is to fatherhood. It is encouraging to see any example of a kind of easy-going camaraderie between guys, at whatever age and stage, at the very least. Men need each other's company and good-will. No doubt it has its earliest roots in a relationship between a boy and his Dad, though many brave men sometimes find it within themselves, as many of our fellow Hubbers have demonstrated.

What is This?

A New Addition?

Then one day this fall, I saw there was a kid’s little yellow tractor in the yard and a darling little boy was around on some weekends riding it, with Lon frequently out in the yard with this cute little blonde tyke. Their easy esprit d’corps is something to behold!


Then more recently, Lon brought home some large boxes which he unpacked from his SUV in the garage, and before long was assembling a very nice kid’s swing and playhouse set and installing it in the back yard!

There could be little doubt that he was enjoying some fatherly privileges with this adorable son!! It was truly joyous. It was done in the most healthy, natural way, too, which impressed and delighted me.


This morning, as I was pouring another cup of coffee, I looked out and there they were. Lon’s SUV was pulled out of the garage and the door to the storage part of the garage was open and he and the little fellow were pulling boards of lumber out of a storage place and loading them into the back of the SUV, I’d guess to keep them good and dry while Lon prepares further for whatever the project is.


The beauty of it was the way Lon accepted the little fellow's help matter-of-factly, which surely made it seem acceptable to the little one and helped establish the esprit-de-corps which is so good to see between guys.

Now, for awhile they were both inside. Lon came back alone. Possibly it’s nap time for the youngster. Lon has cleared a piece of large woodworking equipment and is clearing other stored items out of the way.


I’ve no idea what the project might be - it’s totally beside the point, and totally none of my business - but it is my privilege to observe the lovely father-son relationship that grabbed me by the heartstrings. Lon’s respect for the little fellow’s efforts was natural and unforced and the little guy was giving the task all his best. Though Lon is normally dressed in suit and tie for work, he was in t-shirt and jeans with a backwards ball cap on, being so available to his little boy.

Ah - glanced out my patio door and see that they are sitting together under their patio umbrella on their back porch. Nice. Sue has joined them. She frequently comes out and swings the little guy in the swings and turns him round and round on the suspended tire on the set. The apparent caring attitude with the child is as natural as if he were her own.  It's a scene to delight the viewer; - and no doubt even more so, the participants!


That Lon is enjoying this relationship in such a wonderfully normal/natural way is uplifting to behold. I can’t help but rejoice in the scene and sort of visualize the memories being implanted in the little one’s memory - and surely, in the kind, gentle, good father’s as well.

Sometimes it is rewarding to make like a snoopy neighbor!  I hope I may be forgiven!

A Postscript

It all makes me feel such closeness for our fellow hubbers whose own stories include issues of the heart and the relationships with their children which suffered in sad circumstances which surely should not have been affected by grownups' issues. I can only hope that their losses may somehow be remedied for the good of all concerned and without bitterness. If Lon and his little son is any example of hope, let them shine forth brightly on this lovely day in a season of Thanksgiving.


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    • Nellieanna profile image
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      Nellieanna Hay 8 months ago from TEXAS

      Ah, so we have being the baby of the family in common.

      Interested how you related to your older siblings. You had more contact with them, I’m thinking, than I had with mine. And being brothers, you had different kinds of contact, maybe.

      Mine didn’t pick on me or blame me for things. They just ‘lorded it over me’. haha. The two older ones were girls and the brother was the closest to my age, 10 years older. I sort of adored him. When he returned from active service in WWII, I was 13 and designed and made a special dress to welcome him in. Then he took me out to dinner and I felt so grown-up.

      Later he saved me from a really bad marriage situation and I felt even more beholden to him, and I gave him my most prized of Mother’s paintings, which she painted about the time I was born. But before long, he betrayed me and blamed me for the rift to the rest of the family, making them all distant for years. When he died in 1990, I wasn’t even told by his wife.

      Now all my siblings are passed on, from the eldest who was killed in a horrible car-train crash in 1953 which took her whole family, - to the brother who died in 1990 in car accident, - and the middle sister who died at 92 in 2012. They didn’t have a lot of kids among them. The elder sister had 3 little boys who died in the accident. I’d been very close to their family, but was only 21 when they all died. My middle sister had two and only the daughter had children, 3 girls, and only one of them married and none of them have children. My brother had two by his first wife, and his son is very close and helps me a lot. His daughter had a lot of children but I haven’t seen her since she was young. He had one daughter by his second wife and we have a good understanding we don’t get to visit much. I don’t feel that most of them really know me or have much of an idea of who I am except my one close nephew.

      I’ve written hubs about all my siblings except my brother, and I intend to write a hub about him. He was a very interesting fellow.

      I'm into preparing for a houseguest, and do things more slowly, so may be slow about replying.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My oldest brother had come out of the Marines and the second oldest two years younger joined the Navy when I was little. There were twelve years between my other brother( trouble maker) and I was two years younger. Being the baby of the family you would think I would get special treatment. Not in my family. Being the youngest I got picked on and my older brother blamed me for things when he was about to get in trouble. He was a quick thinker and also an instigator. But I managed to survive. We always made our own fun and busy growing up with our own friends. My brother didn't hang around with his youngest brother and you could never say we're best friends. None the less we were family. I wished different and as we got older we grew farther apart. Everything I have read brothers become closer in time. That didn't happen. My oldest brother and the one closest to me loved sports. They bonded. The second oldest and I got along great but he was a HUGE story teller and would cause a lot of his own problems. I just loved having a family. So as the years moved on the two oldest got married. The one closest in age to me was busy with playing sports baseball and hockey. A good athlete in both. A pitcher in baseball and a goalie in hockey. I think I was a disappointment to him because I didn't like the things he liked. Later in high school I took up running track and enjoyed it very much. I was not the best or the worst so it was fine with me. I kept in shape and met my own friends. Thank you for sharing. It is so nice to understand what goes on in other families is a lot like mine. (Lol)Maybe different circumstances but the same tension, peer pressure, rivalries, arguements that we all had to be part of growing up.

    • Nellieanna profile image
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      Nellieanna Hay 8 months ago from TEXAS

      Well, it was all tied together - like a story. I didn't set out to cover it all, but it just flowed and reminded me so much of my parents' relationships with me and my siblings.

      The stories I heard about the 3 older ones when they were all young at the same time - (2 years between each of them) - were quite colorful. They were always getting into trouble, especially the two younger ones, and the oldest one would tattle and get them in trouble. But she acted like such a 'fair-haired girl' that she would trick them into thinking Dad wanted to 'give them something' and then they'd go and what they'd 'get' was punished.

      But I had no cohorts and was rather fragile as a child, so I didn't get into much trouble and Dad had mellowed, I'm sure.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      You covered every subject and so wonderfully said. I was not trying to take up all your time and thought you may get to one comment or two at your leisure. Thank you so very much I appreciate all your kindness in many different ways. Have a superb night,

    • Nellieanna profile image
      Author

      Nellieanna Hay 8 months ago from TEXAS

      How great that this hub brought so many memories of your Dad and parents to you, Michael. It’s so healthy and re-vitalizing to revisit old memories.

      I miss mine, too, and often remember things.

      Your Dad was so right that we can’t change people’s natures. People must be who they are. He was right that one’s own responsibility is to be the best person one can be. It might be that one’s example helps someone struggling to choose a better path or to rev up the one they’re on.

      We should no more judge our parents than anyone, and so often they turned out to be right about things we thought were not, when we were too naive to see the truth in what they taught. Later, we’d realize how right they were!

      After my George died over 8 years ago, I didn’t want another mate because no one could measure up! haha. My mother died first and my dad, who was already infirm, just withered away after she was gone. She visited him for hours every day in the rest home, planted flowers outside of his window, kept his mind active. But when it snowed one day (not usual for San Angelo, where they were), she couldn’t scrape the ice off the windshield, so she rolled down the window and stuck her head out to see the road to the home where he was across town. She died of pneumonia a couple of weeks after that. He was lost without her. They’d been married 57 years.

      There was no cursing in my parents’ home, either, but there was no rule about it. It was never heard by the grownups so wasn’t repeated by younger ones. Same with drinking and smoking, though — very rarely, Dad might have a glass of something. He was a German, so appreciated a little ‘buzz’, I guess. I honestly never witnessed him having anything, but there was some blackberry wine and a liquour up in a high cabinet. (I was so nosey, I knew every thing in the house. haha.) No one smoked. So many things were just accepted and done or avoided without a fuss. Of course my 3 much older siblings had more punishments when they were growing up than I ever did. But, for one thing, they kept me in line! My Dad could control me by just looking disapproving. I wanted so much to please him. Mother would never punish a child. She wouldn’t even scold!

      Our homes were sort of unorthodox. We spent our time at the ranch when school wasn’t in session. The house there was miles from other ranches and was at the end of the road, so we didn’t have casual visitors out there. And we could hear someone coming from miles away so we could tidy up! During the school months, we lived in Del Rio, always in rental houses. Not fancy, but it was never a big deal. There were not too many fancy houses for comparison. haha. When we moved to San Angelo when I was 10, they bought a nice 3-bedroom brick house that cost $5000. (Times have changed!) They could have bought a mansion for $10,000 but I was the only one still at home and we didn’t need a big fancy house. Also, still had the ranch and they’d also bought a farm 15 miles out of San Angelo, with a modest house on it. Houses were not something we gave much attention to. Dad was his own person When he wasn’t working, he preferred to read or go fishing at the farm. He was brilliant and wanted to keep up with things going on in the world, not in local social life. He considered it ‘show’ to try to impress anyone. Mother always knew everyone in town from the ‘top’ echelon who lived in the big fancy houses to the least who lived in the smallest. She was blind to such things so they was not a factor for her. To her friends, she was so interesting that her status was not a factor. She was an artist and into many pursuits, as well as caring for the family. It was an interesting home life for me!

      I definitely had to finish all the food on my plate! Again, it was not a big issue, but just how it was done. Often my plate was filled for me! I ate it all. It was NEVER ‘not liking’ anything! The most punishment associated with meals was if I’d done something earlier in the day I shouldn’t, I would not be given dessert, though my big brother would often smuggle me some after supper. One time I ate a lot of apples and left the cores in the windowsills. Dad made me go back and eat them - completely, after they’d turned brown. ugh.

      There was a lot of affection in our home, too. Not gushy, mushy but well demonstrated by actions and attitudes. When I was little and he’d been at the ranch and came home to town, I’d sit on Dad’s lap and he’d listen to me recite the alphabet or the multiplication tables or whatever I’d learned new in his absence! haha. Lots of encouragement, but not praise all the time. More like appreciation and respect for what I did. I don’t recall ever being praised much for ‘effort’, though. I guess I got the message that the idea was to accomplish stuff. haha.

      Yeah, I was taught to tackle the hardest jobs first, too. Definitely did not put grease down the drain! I don’t recall having many paper products in my youth. They were such a luxury snd even when they did appear, they were treated like gold. But we had rags to use for clean up after the liquid grease was poured off. Actually the liquid grease was used for other cooking, not thrown out. Now, I use a LOT of paper towels for cleanups and generously wrapping fresh produce to keep it fresh. But I dry out those paper towels to use for the dirty cleanups and spills. I learned to recycle from my parents, especially Mother. She NEVER let anything go to waste.

      Growing up, I was like an only child with 5 grownups, so I didn’t fight with anyone, except, maybe the cat if it didn’t mind. haha. In fact, my siblings never really saw me as a grownup, even when I was into my elderly years. And I accepted it, pretty much. Now they’re gone and I’m still here. Miss them, too. Your Dad was wise to teach you not to fight with your brother!

      OH, wow - all the snow you’ve known! Growing up, I didn’t even see snow till I was about 9 and it melted before it hit the ground. Mother told people about it and added that I’d seen rain twice. haha. Smiling that your Dad didn’t praise your work shoveling the snow. My Dad was very stingy with compliments ,too, because he disapproved of flattery, so it was better not to praise much.

      In my youth, absent dads were totally un-heard of. They may have existed somewhere but it was not generally known if they were. Things were quite different then. People were generally decent and law-abiding. I was born during the Great Depression, you know.

      My Dad did not do ‘women’s work’, though he could fend for himself if alone at the ranch. He would shop for groceries, but he’d leave it to Mother to take care of them when he brought them home.

      Dad played basketball in his college days but was not into athletics later. Mother was more an athlete and a lifelong athletic fan. She’d been an ice skater when she was growing up in Indiana and Illinois. He was very strong and of a chunky build, while she was willowy and graceful.

      My Dad was in WWI, though he was not sent to battle. My brother, brother-in-law - and my George were in WWII and were all in the thick of the action.

      Paying the bills was taken for granted for my parents, and in the early days when they were trying to pay the loan on the ranch during the Depression, that meant doing without most other things other than the very most basic things of survival. I use credit accounts but pay the balances in full every month. It’s convenient to have good credit and to be able to shop online, etc. But I know how much I can spend and how many basic expenses I must also pay and keep it within the limits. Your Dad was so right that if you get into the loop of paying bills with credit, you’re piling up more interest charges and making a burden for yourself. Too many people these days are of an instant gratification mindset and then whine when it comes time to pay-up. I’m shocked at the TV ads for ways to beat the system and avoid paying what people have piled up. I seriously doubt that they get off scot-free, though they may momentarily get by without taking responsibility

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My father had the belief that if you owed a bill you should pay it and not charge it. If you charge it you end up paying more money for interest and you should not be spending money you do not have. That gets you over head and in trouble in the future.He didn't carry charge cards and believed in paying cash. Today is a different world and today so many people just use a bank card instead of cash. Growing up we didn't have a lot but we didn't need a lot to make us happy. Thanks so much.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      After realizing I didn't remember reading this hub and that was only six months ago. I got to thinking what do I remember about my dad. Many of these thoughts I thought were forgotten forever. When I began to write another old memory popped up in it's place. My father didn't allow any swearing. If we did they would get a bar of soap and stick it in your mouth. You thought they were going to break your teeth. They would say They were going to wash my mouth out with soap. I still don't swear to this day. Many of the house rules were dads rules. I know mom and dad were equal and both agreed on the way they did things. I think knowing they came from dad made us listen and obey. My father was the man of the house and he felt his income should be enough to provide for the family.My mother never had to work. As we got older and we were in high school she took on a part time job as a hostess at McDonald's my father disagreed and my mother later convinced him. Think off the extra money we could have to pay a bill or go on vacation.They never had separate bank accounts. Always the money was combined. So they both always knew how much money they had and what bills had to be paid. No secrets. An open and honest relationship.Have a fantastic day.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      How blessed are we do have a dad when so many children grow up without a father figure. My father would go on Saturday mornings and buy meat at a butcher shop and he would bring the meat home and would package it separately and mark it and put it in a big freezer. He bought when he thought the prices were cheaper.we had steak, chicken, pork chops and hamburger,hot dogs,sausages. My mother would plan for the week and take out the meats accordingly.Later that morning he would come home and watch candlepin bowling.Different than big ball or large pin. It was only played in New England with small balls and little pins.I use to be on a bowling team and once we had a father and son competition. I wasn't the best bowler but this particular day I was hot. I remember the judges coming over and checking our score. It wasn't till the next game I went back to my regular game and the judges never came back. It was good while it lasted.My dad said they are just better bowlers with lots of practice you can get better. Even with years of practice I didn't get much better. I still love the game today.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My father like so many others was in World War 11. He never talked about the war much. He said we had to protect our country. We did what had to do. He was very proud of being in the Navy. His job was a radio technician. He was deeply sad for the loss of lives on both sides. I hope you never see one.There are no winners. One loss of life is too many. I never wanted to join any branch of the service. The thought of taking someone's life is not a choice I want to make. It is either you or them.They train you so you don't think. Just react. I know he said we are trained to kill. All I need is a piece of your body. You can say all you want about me but don't put your hands on me. Then at that moment you have to take action. You may not get a second chance. Always be aware of your surroundings. I am a lover not a fighter. Thanks so much for listening.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My father loved a glass of beer and a shot of whisky and he smoked cigars. I have little desire for all three. He said there is no need to pick up my bad habits. You know better. We didn't know the dangers of smoking back then. You have more knowledge and can do better. With every person comes there good and bad traits. My father use to think as long as the good out weighed the bad then you did alright. Thanks again.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      It's been snowing all night. About six inches of snow now. I remember shoveling out my fathers car. Then I would come in and the plow would push the snow in front of his car. He had a spot at the end of the street. Soon I would head out and shovel some more. My brother was lazy and didn't want to shovel.He would go out and play. My father appreciated what I did but he never really told me. I wonder if he just thought we both did it. I think he had other more important things on his mind. So I never said anything. I knew It was the right thing to do. My father also believed you don't do things to get recognized and approval (look at me) That is bragging. You do it because it's the right thing to do and that should be enough. I felt he was wrong and this is one of those things that the jury still is out and can't decide. The jury is all my emotions over the years. I felt if I said something it was tooting my own horn, selfish and wrong.I should be a bigger and better man than that. One thought has triggered another and I thought you might be bored and need a few words and thoughts to spice your day up.(lol) A little writing humor.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My father thought two brothers should never fight. Of course we did and for that we were punished. We had to go stand in two different corners of our house no talking.Think about what we did. When we decided to make up he would decide when that would happen and he did not want to see it again. We were stubborn and bent on who started it and who was right. None of that mattered to him. I remember standing looking into the corner what seemed to be eternity which was probably an hour. Thinking why this punishment and how silly we look and how would this solve our differences. The same punishment next time and adventually we fought secretly so dad and mom didn't find out.He tried to teach us family has to stick together despite our differences. It took me years to understand the concept. To this day my brother and I still fight and I wish someone punished us by putting us in the corner. We would of solved our differences. Instead we finally made up and in time forget our differences. Hug and say I love you. Maybe in some crazy way it worked after all. Thanks for listening to my dads snippets. Thank you dad.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      If we had homework to do, do it first get it out of the way and then you can relax. If you put it off to later you will only make it worse.Another tip when washing dishes do the least dirtiest first. Clean off the plates of food. The greasiest pans for last.Fill up the sink with hot soapy water and scrub each dish and glass. Then rinse all together instead of shutting the water on and off each time. The grease from bacon went in a can not down the sink. We used a used paper towel or napkins we used at dinner. The grease clogs the drain.More tips more love.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      At the supper table we had to finish all our food in our plate. Next time we made sure we took only what we could eat. We had to have what my mother made you didn't have to like it. It was good for you. My mom and dad often supported each other on all their decisions. So we couldn't say mom said it was o.k. It didn't work.He didn't yell if he raised his voice you knew he meant business. Nobody wanted a little smack on our bottom. It hurt just enough. I kissed my father on the cheek all his life. As a sign of respect and love. He once said your older now you don't have to. I said I know I want to. In public or around people it don't matter. If I was leaving I would not leave without giving him a kiss good bye.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      Growing up we had one of the smallest houses in our neighborhood. My father reminded me it was better to have a nice house in a poor neighborhood than a poor house in a rich neighborhood. Often he said you have a roof over your head and food in your stomach, clothes on your back what else do you need. We new we were blessed. Thank you dad for taking care of me and our whole family while providing a loving home.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      I was washing the dishes after supper and I remembered my father saying if we all help clean up a lot of hands make light work. He was right. When my brother and I were small we would cuss because one had to sweep the floor and the other had to dry the dishes. Amazing how the littlest things like cleaning our room, hanging our coat up, taking out the trash, shutting off a light when your not in the room. Anyway just a flashback of years past. I have a love for all dads who try their best to teach right from wrong and are there for their children through their toughest years. Thank you for writing and sharing. Enjoy a wonderful night.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      My father said only God is perfect. He passed away Aug 1991. I thought how could I go on without my dad. My mom lived until Nov. 2012. I often wished she would find someone to share the rest of her life with. She said why do I want someone else they have more problems than me. She loved the years she was married and that was enough.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      I often thought what if my father taught me wrong.Then I would be no better than him. Then I remembered my father also wanted us to think for ourselves. Use our head for more than a hat rack. Do something that will make not just you but your family proud. So how could he be that wrong. Give it a try and change if I wasn't happy with the result. More often than not he made a better choice than I made later. My father said be smart use common sense.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      I remember complaining about how people could be so mean. He said people are just doing what they believe is right. You can't change a person. They are like flowers they can't change who they are no matter what other flower they rather be. All you can do is make you the best you can be. The world has been around long before we were born and will be around long after we are gone. Hugs to all those people in my life who have helped me along the way.Thank you never seems enough. It's all I have so I wrap it in love.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      I knew the day would come my parents wouldn't be here. So I savored every moment together so one day in the future I could look back and smile.Whoever guessed today was the day I would enjoy that moment.(shells)

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      Nellieanna Hay 8 months ago from TEXAS

      That's rather special that you came to read the hub and also had the benefit of your own earlier response to it! You've captured the sweetest memories of your Dad as your helper and encourager, and also as your guide and strict teacher. That's what a Dad should be!

      Thanks for coming back to read it again, even though you hadn't recalled your first read till you got here!

      SHELLS

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      DREAM ON 8 months ago

      I pulled up this hub and after reading it I was moved. The funny thing was I always read the comments after. To my surprise I have read it before. This time memories of my dad trying to discipline me in a firm manner when I did something wrong. Pointing out my mistake in judgement and how I should think before I act. Think of other people's feelings and maybe you would make a better choice in the future. I don't remember what it was or how often I was scolded for being bad but I respected his position and loved my dad. My dad worked a lot and thought work made us strong and built up character. We had to prove ourselves and work was healthy part of life. Earning whatever you could honestly was more important than how much. I once again loved your hub and know how important the bond between father in son is. My new next door neighbors moved in last August and they have 5 children ages. Ten, eight, six, four and two. When I am out in my yard I see him spending time with them. Not just letting them play but being part of their fun and excitement. Even if it is only a half hour. He is so loving and giving. Thank you for sharing and caring. (Shells)

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      Nellieanna Hay 23 months ago from TEXAS

      My dear Dream On ~ You comments always warm my heart and bring a smile to my face. This one, with your own precious memories of your own Dad and how he guided you inyour childhood, is especially dear. And you pass along that kind of love and wise guidance in your relationships with your nieces and nephews. That's what it's all about.

      I loved my Dad and he was a big influence on my youth and later m life, along with Mother's. What a blessing good parents and other older relatives are to kids.

      One of my Dad's counsels to me was to seek out a trustworthy older person to befriend and then to pay respectful attention to their counsel, while still using my own mind and heart to resolve my challenges.

      He was fond of quoting cute poetry which had a lesson or a moral for me. I need to find a copy of one I especially remember about a "little mousie" who was too quick to act without thinking - and, of course, got trapped while boldly investigating the cheese in the mousetrap. haha. He even wrote it out in a letter to me when I was away at school.

      He was old-fashioned, but so wise. He understood his daughter all too well. I overheard him saying I was 'a determined little girl' when I was no more than 3 or 4. haha. He had me pegged!

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      DREAM ON 23 months ago

      Nellieanna Your story is of love. The connection with a father and his son.I enjoyed reading it as my mind flooded with so many childhood memories. My dad always let me help out painting the outside of the house no matter how bad I did. He helped me ride my first bike and he gashed his leg with my bicycle pedal and he still let me ride.I have no children but I carry that connection with my nieces and nephews today. Hopefully they will see and feel my love. I always look forward to your hubs. Filled with real life situations and many lessons. Thank you so much. Wishing you good health and a beautiful day.

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      Nellieanna Hay 24 months ago from TEXAS

      Thank you for discovering this hub, Patricia. Yes, it's meaningful. Fathers and children relationships are, indeed, inspiring and so important to both participants.

      I must confess that I've, since writing this, learned that these two are grandfather and grandson. If anything, that makes it extra-special and lends even more meaning & significance. There's also a precious granddaughter. The yard has a much-used swing-set, play fort and there are bikes and pedal vehicles, along with pets. Obvious caring about those children, along with personal contact frequently evident.

      Good people.

      Oh - and I can't help but notice. That house, garage and backyard are in my direct view from my kitchen window. Haha.

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      Patricia Scott 24 months ago from sunny Florida

      What a sweet story. It is so refreshing to read of goodness. Being a 'nosy neighbor' has it merits on many levels for sure

      What you would have missed is far greater than any imagined nosiness...this lovely tale we would not be privy to had you done otherwise.

      What joy it is to see Daddy and child interacting in such a lovely way.

      My son in law and his son can be seen working side by side since his tiniest years (he is five now). He is often all up in the middle of Daddy's tools when he is building or repairing this or that and his help is eagerly received. How lovely it is to behold

      Thank you for sharing such a loving article at this time of the year.

      Angels are on the way. ps

      shared

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Oh, dear. Of course, I considered it could have been like that, but hoped it might not have been. But what a wonderful role model your mother was/is. I will most definitely look up your Hubpage about her.

      My experience was incredibly excruciating and its effects in regard to the children persist after 39 years since it erupted irreparably. They are now well into their AARP years and have grandchildren of their own. I can applaud them for their courage & determination.

      Yes, my precious George was indeed, a reward for me and I miss him dearly since his passing - and his memory keeps me smiling.

      Of course I would also be honored to be friends. Thanks for this followup message, too. I am sorry to know why your youth was deprived of your father for the most part. We grow past these trials, but we bear some reminders.

    • Shyla's Nana profile image

      Shyla's Nana 6 years ago

      LOL well Nellieanna, my dad was away. He left my mom with 5 kids. He was a womanizer. My mama was both mom and dad to us and I am glad she was. I actually wrote an article about her here in Hubpages. The title is Wind Beneath My Wings. I know you are very busy here but perhaps sometime you can drop by and read it. Her pic is above the article. Thank you also for your kind words regarding my son. I have 4 wonderful children, all grown now. I am sorry to hear of your first marriage. It makes you really appreciate the one that comes along afterwards that makes life worth living and puts a smile on your face. And I would be most honored somewhere along the way to call you my friend. Take care.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Yes, - oh, yes, Shyla's Nana. It is truly wonderful to see a sweet Father-child relationship in progress. It sounds like your own was just not quite enough - or certainly didn't feel like enough. As I've mentioned, my Dad was a wonderful one. I understood that he had to commute to the ranch when we lived in town so I could go to school, but he never failed to be very much there for me when he came back. When school was out, we stayed at the ranch all summer, too. Those are all some of my most precious memories. I FELT his caring and it washed away the time he had to be away. I'd love to think that your Dad's kiss on the cheek was his genuine expression of caring for you too but just not as obvious to you as a child. Perhaps his reason for being away was as imperative as my Dad's. Often kids don't fully have opportunity to know too much about their father's work and other obligations. I was able to see and be part of my Dad's so I could picture him out there working on that remote place a hundred miles away, making our living. If a dad's work is in some office removed from the kids' lives, it would be easy to feel left out I'm sure. Parents are so aware of their facts, they can fail to realize that kids have no way of knowing them.

      But worse - your children's dad was cruel. I can empathize. I, too, chose my first husband & my children's father poorly. But How great it is that your own son, Robbie, found within himself the ability to be a good Daddy. I'm sure your love and training helped make him what he has become. No wonder you are so happy to be Shyla's Nana!! Makes it all worthwhile! Thank you so much for sharing that happy outcome. Hugs.

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      Shyla's Nana 6 years ago

      Dear Nellieanna, this is such a sweet story. A lot of things happen in relationships and children are left wondering if it was THEIR fault. It is the parent's responsibility to assure their child/children that they are loved beyond measure and what is happening is in no way their fault. I know as a little girl, my dad was hardly ever around. Us kids saw very little of him. Sometimes he would show up in the middle of the night and give us a kiss on the cheek while we were sleeping, except some nights I wasn't asleep. It was almost like a dream one could say.

      After I grew up and got married I had children. It was not a very good marriage, it was filled with abuse. My oldest son was 13 when I took him, his 2 brothers and sister and left my husband. I never once tried to keep our children from their dad, even when he kept putting me down and calling me all kinds of names when they were with him.

      This is neither here nor there though. What you have written is what every child hopes for in a father, someone who loves them to the ends of the universe and one that will play with them and teach them things about life. But I see in my son, Robbie, who is Shyla's dad, what it takes to be a daddy. Anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a daddy. He is the kind of daddy I wish I could have had. I love you Robbie. You are a wonderful son, husband, and brother, but you put a smile in the word of daddy. Thanks Nellieanna for sharing your gift of words. Take care.

    • Nellieanna profile image
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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      OH, yes. My father was my hero and I knew he loved me dearly. I know it was something real to me all through life.

      There is much to be concerned about in modern "families". Responsibility seems sadly lacking.

      I'm still getting to enjoy seeing the father and son across the alley on weekends when he has his little boy.

      Thank you so much for visiting the hub and commenting!

    • BkCreative profile image

      BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      I cannot imagine being who I am without my father - and yes, we girls need our dads - sometimes I think more because it creates the natural balance and ying and yang. Yet, we girls are ignored in this equation.

      Pains me that men are having children everywhere knowing full well they can neither support them physically or emotionally. Poor kids in our culture.

      Thanks for the hub!

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Heart Felt - Thank you! Yes - it is a wonderful reminder of good men and fathers. I guess it is missing more and more these days. Let's hope there are more and more good guys who truly take the responsibility to heart and realize what a joy it is to be a parent!

      Thanks again for the visit to my site and the lovely comments!

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      Cheri Taylor 6 years ago from New York, NY

      THIS WAS VERY SWEET GREAT HUB!! I ALWAYS LOVE TO SEE A MAN WITH HIS SON\KIDS..FOR SOME REASON IT HIT'S A SOFT SPOT IN MY HEART.. IT'S SOMETHING WE LACK IN THIS GENERATION/WORLD.. SO IT'S A GREAT HONER WHEN SEEN. THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL THANK YOU FOR SHARING

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Dear Ken - Yes, I know. We share a a similar deprivation and we grieve more for what the children are being deprived of than our own loss.

      How glad I am that your 16 year old is with you! He is a most fortunate young man to have you as a father in his life. That is wonderful. Perhaps the others will acquire both the insight and the opportunity to return to you, as well. It is excruciatingly sad.

      Perhaps the most heroic thing we deprived parents can do is to go on growing and deepening in both our own wisdom and understanding ourselves in the meantime so that if and when our lost lambs return, they will find us strong and valiant - as well as good role models. After all, they are growing up and facing their own adult challenges and so for them to find that, indeed, we allowed our losses to crush us - would NOT be a good example for them in their own challenges of adult life. How much better for them - and ourselves - to learn from it, derive all the best from having endured it to make us better people - and to exemplify that kind of resiliency and strength for our children to observe if and when they can and will. Those of our progeny we DO get to be close to are also the benefactors of who and what we are - and they ARE near us to know and grow the better for it, - or to see us being crushed and wondering how they can cope with their own challenges if we can't seem to cope with ours! I believe this is one gift we can give, no matter who or what anyone or anything arises to thwart our parenthood!

      So take heart in knowing that the way you are living your life and facing your most crucial challenge of all - is courageous, honorable and fully human in the very best sense of the term!!

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Martie, yes, it's uplifting to observe good dads with their children, and possibly especially so when it is a son, who so much needs a good male role model. Of course the love of either or both parents for any and all of their children is equally vital.

      That scenario I saw and shared was simply too poignant and beautiful to keep just for myself. And it was timely - pointing out the good things about fathers. No one wants to cast them in a bad light when they are mostly wonderful.

      I'm pleased that you visited and saw the harmony I wanted to portray - and enjoyed it from my perspective as though you'd been sitting right beside me!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      I am still without my oldest son in my life and my two daughters, I have my 16 year old son living with me, he stands by his Dad. I am still praying for the other 3 to come back into my life. Your mention below is very sad.

      "my heart break for my son who have to live his life knowing daily that his father is not interested in him and his achievements"

      NO FATHERS OR MOTHERS should ever abandon their children...

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      Martie Coetser 6 years ago from South Africa

      Personally I gape at fathers and sons in harmony together, while my heart break for my son who have to live his life knowing daily that his father is not interested in him and his achievements. Well written, Nellieanna – I could ‘see’ your lovely neighbors through your eyes.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Definitely my pleasure, Alexandra. It's refreshing to see and to share an uplifting, spirit nurturing scene like that was It was lovely weather for it too, and before long it will be less pleasant outside. It was especially nice that it was so ideal for their activities. Thank you for coming by and leaving a lovely comment. Hugs.

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      SilverGenes 6 years ago

      I'm sitting here with my tea and enjoying this view from your window. You have a way of observing things that not only makes sense, but is enriching for the spirit. Thank you for this glimpse into goodness :)

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Ah - thank you H-H! That is an unanswerable question, to be sure. But so many things that happen in another person's mind are unanswerable. At times it is all one can do to keep up with one's own contradictions, isn't it? It is for me, though less so as I grow up more. :-)

      I was hesitant to try to write that and relay the good feelings it gave me. It could be interpreted, I suppose, as spying on the neighbors. But if I happened to observe

      something unpleasant or a poor example of how to be as a human being, I certainly wouldn't want to relay or broadcast that, realizing how little I'd really know about why it happened and certainly not wanting to promote bad behavior!

      But this father-son scenario was so obviously a good & positive panarama of sweet feelings and interactions, I could not resist passing it along. I am quite gratified that it is being received by my dear Hubber friends in that spirit!!

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

      It is so rare to see or hear that. Our son still crinches and curles up like hedgehog when he see a father and son like that. His father all over sudden wanted a child after 11 years of marriage and then he din't want to know him. How on earth do you ever make sense of that?

      Thank you,Nellieanna, for a wonderful hub. I have got to extent on FP's words and say that you also can put into the right words what you saw. You are marvel to me.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Ken - thank you, dear gentleman. Gentle man. I appreciate you greatly. Yes, it was heart-warming to me, so much that I couldn't keep it just for myself. It was good to see love in ACTION, not in REaction. The little boy was simply being loved in a genuine way. If any other undercurrents exist - and I don't know anything about the rest of the story there - the child is being spared their anguish, it looks like to me. And for that, both his mother and father - and the sweet girl he lives with as well - are to be commended. Whatever differences may exist at the adult level to have caused the parents not to be together - are obviously secondary and subordinate to their earnest desire for their chid's best interest, judging from the scene which unfolded Sunday and has on other occasions.

      I look over there during the week when the little fellow is not there - surely with his mother or some other guardian, (who knows) - and I see the dormant swing set and other outdoor toys. It touches me that the daddy happily provided them specifically for the rare visits by the son. He is not a wealthy man, obviously, but he invested in the enjoyment of his son even on such a part-time basis, when he could have been justified in discounting the value of making it a real "home" for the child even only on weekends. Not that things provide love, but love provides all the things possible to express itself and please the beloved.

      If that swing set is as big a reminder to the dad of the little fellow in his absence, then it must surely touch his heart every time he sees it - and he lives there!

      Well - I know I'm filling in blanks here, but the sweet people involved provided the blanks and it gives me joy to see the good in them! It also gives me joy to hear you say it uplifted your evening and made your heart joyous, Ken.

      The first time I heard "Beautiful Boy" was at the happy ending of the movie, "Mr.Holland's Opus" when Richard Dreyfuss' character sang it to his son, using sign language because the boy was deaf. The father's life was music and it was a terrible blow to him when they discovered the boy was deaf. Singing that song to him was a special tribute to the beauty of the boy and the relationship. And the song is lovely. Glad it touched your heart too!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      This brought great joy to my heart. I felt the love between a father and son. Something I so missed as a boy. You painted a very pretty heart warming portrait of a family doing what families should be doing.

      Spending quality time with their children. Thank you also for choosing the video you did. We named our first son Sean after John Lennon's beautiful, beautiful boy. Thank you my dear for this generous and uplifting hub, you made my evening and my heart soar with joy. Peace and hugs

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Eiddwen - you honor me and I'm humbled. Thank you, dear lady. :-)

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      Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

      This is another beautiful hub from a person who has a heart big enough to look into a situation fully.

      There are so much narrowminded people in this world but not an ounce of that belongs to you Nellieanna.

      Thank you so much for a brilliant read again.

      Take care and God Bless you.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Christopheranton - yes - it is encouraging. It may not always be obvious to others, however. It's possible to have to choose between two very sad choices, but still, choosing the least harmful to the children, even at one parent's own personal sacrifice, is truly the best one can do in the circumstances. It's impossible to second-guess and nothing about another's life is as straightforward as it may seem from one's own perspective, which is, after all, the only one a person has to bring to bear. It emphasizes the need for non-judging others.

      Thank you, as always, for a most valuable & astute comment! I agree that is is a joy to see and be able to see good in action, especially when it benefits a very young life. I feel great love toward that little boy whose name I don't even know! And I appreciate his parents so much for providing the healthiest situation they can under whatever their own personal conditions will allow. They are not petty, thank God.

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      Christopher Antony Meade 6 years ago from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom

      Its good to see that some people seem to put the welfare and happiness of their children before any petty issues that divide them. Long may it stay that way.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      FP - that's the nicest compliment anyone could possibly give me! Thank you, dear friend!

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      Feline Prophet 6 years ago

      Nellieanna, you have a gift for looking beyond the obvious. What may have barely registered on the minds of most other people, has you giving meaning and shape to! :)

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      it was a ray of sunshine and hope in my day, Melinda. The quiet normalcy of it was so refreshing. Thank you, my dear.

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      It must bring great joy..to see a father and son sharing precious time. I am sure they feel the love from you.

      It is light that generates warmth and comfort and goes beyond the physical barriers as we know them.

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      Nellieanna Hay 6 years ago from TEXAS

      Thank you, Melinda, my friend. Yes - I saw him pull into the garage a bit ago, probably had to take the lad back to his mother. Tomorrow is a work day again for him. It was a lovely day for their time together. I wondered if he an his girlfriend feel the good vibes coming from here! Thank you so much for being my first visitor here.

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      msorensson 6 years ago

      It is wonderful that Lon is able to spend time with the child..and you being you noticing that he is a good father..

      I love that phrase "uplifting to behold" I am sure I would have felt the same way.

      Thank you for sharing the story, Nellieanna.

      Much love, Melinda