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Understanding Adolescent Behavior

Updated on July 17, 2014
Why do teens have a need to establish an image? Hair styles and color changes seem trivial to teens but major to parents.
Why do teens have a need to establish an image? Hair styles and color changes seem trivial to teens but major to parents. | Source

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.” —Socrates

The music is different, the clothing has changed, the food choices are varied, but time has not changed the adult perception of youth. This reflection from Socrates seems to match views today on teen behavior; adults tend to size-up teens (adolescents) as near-delinquent and shake their heads as they walk away.

As parents we perceive our adolescent children as people in need of our guidance and we spend most of this growing period attempting to shape and mold them into stellar examples of our parenting efforts. Not delinquent societal misfits.

The teen viewpoint of this time frame is to separate from the family to establish autonomy. Since the two standpoints differ, family relationships undergo mild to moderate conflict over seemingly mundane matters to questions of moral codes. During these interchanges, teen behavior may outwardly portray rebellion, result in poor decision making, or display character inconsistent with their normal beliefs.

Those Were The Days . . .

Remember when she wanted to be just like you?
Remember when she wanted to be just like you? | Source

Changes In Adolescent Conduct

Never mind, you just don't understand. You don't care about me and what I think! I hate you!

Did you ever hear these statements after asking your child why they made such a bad decision or why they refuse to follow your instruction? Hearing these types of phrases shakes our confidence as a parent. After all, you raised this child from birth and taught her everything she knows. Wasn't it just yesterday she was hugging you and telling you she wanted to be just like you when she grew up?

There are times when your adolescent may struggle assessing social relationships, fail to complete school assignments, react to certain situations with outbursts of anger, or take risks you never thought they would entertain. You simply do not know this child anymore.

The following chart presents typical adolescent behavior (approximate ages from 10 to 19) parents may see demonstrated during this stage of development.

What Is Happening?

 
Adolescent Behavior
 
Difficulty holding their emotions
Preference for physical activity
Preference for high excitement and low effort activities (gaming, sex, drugs)
Poor planning and judgement (do not consider consequences)
More risky, impulsive behavior such as drug experimentation
Act on impluse
Misread or misinterpret social cues/emotions
Accident prone
May participate in physical fights
(Source: aacap.org, Facts for Families; teenbrain.drugfree.org)

The Intense Color of the Brain

MRI imaging: The developing brain is colorful. As it matures, the basic colors will be blue and purple.
MRI imaging: The developing brain is colorful. As it matures, the basic colors will be blue and purple. | Source

Let's Share Our Thoughts

What is the best way to handle parent-teen conflicts?

See results

The Brain and Adolescent Behavior

Recent studies completed at UCLA School of Medicine using MRI imaging have discovered brain development in humans (ages 5 to 20) reflect the rate of growth of gray matter during adolesence. Gray matter begins to diminish over this time period leading to increased cognitive ability. The resulting loss of gray matter leads to improved neural organization in the brain. Other changes that occur are increased correlation between brain cells and refinement of pathways. Myelin, an insulating layer in the brain, assists cells to communicate. Together, these changes lead to maturity in the adolescent resulting in better decision making and behavior.

Physicians and scientists know the human brain develops from back to front. What does this mean for your child? Simply that your youngster may not fully comprehend the circumstances presented due to the lack of development in the prefrontal cortex region, which exists in the front of the brain.

A youth's brain functions differently than an adults because it is guided by an area in the back part of the brain. This is referred to as the amygdala. The amygdala is responsible for our emotional and motivational reasoning. The back part of the brain also controls our impulses, reasoning, and physical coordination. It isn't until a person reaches 25 (more or less) that the prefrontal cortex develops fully to act as the "control center" for planning, organization and mood modulation of the brain.

In other words, your teen's behavior may demonstrate unpredictable actions and thoughts, which may be out of character when confronted with difficult situations or good decision making, due to underdevelopment of his brain. The graphs below depict the general flow of brain development and the responsibilities of each part connected to behavior. Notice how much responsibility the "judgement" area associated with the prefrontal cortex has over our thought processes. Can you see why a young mind is unable to react as quickly and maturely as an adult?

The Process of Brain Development

Hey Mom Look At Me Now!

What do you do when your son comes home with a radical new hair style?  Remain calm?
What do you do when your son comes home with a radical new hair style? Remain calm? | Source

What Can A Parent Do?

Just because an adolescent brain is in development, it does not mean they are incapable of making good choices or not know what is morally acceptable. Neither should they be allowed to forego positive discipline in regards to their actions. Pointing out the development of the brain aids parents in providing guidance with understanding of behavior.

During this growing stage, parents can help youth by providing consistent guidelines along with developmentally appropriate expectations. Remaining calm during discussions, remaining open-minded and offering a listening ear before making a statement gives a child respect and allows him or her to see a parent as caring and warm.

If the behavior warrants discipline, it may benefit both parent and child to jointly decide the type of discipline necessary for correcting a bad decision. Understandably, this goes a long way in establishing positive autonomy during adolescence.

A young person may look to his peers as role models, but parents who are involved and demonstrate caring love and guidance are much more influential than they know as their child reaches maturity. How many of us have looked back in our early twenties to discover that mom and dad were not as dumb as we originally thought?

Here are additional suggestions for parents and adolescents that may help:

  • A child needs adequate sleep (9 - 10 hours on average)
  • Establish good food choices and habits
  • Provide experiences to help them develop decision making: sports, clubs, hobbies, church youth groups, music, art, etc.
  • View conflicts as a form of self-expression; they are trying to understand the decision process
  • Remain calm during conflicts
  • Parents must role model good behavior, decision-making and social interactions

Sleeping Again?

Growing teens can sleep for hours on end, in any place, at any time of day.
Growing teens can sleep for hours on end, in any place, at any time of day. | Source

© 2013 Dianna Mendez

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    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 12 months ago

      Rangoon House, good to know we are not facing new issues, right? There is still hope for all! Enjoy a good day, my friend.

    • Rangoon House profile image

      AJ 12 months ago from Australia

      This process is clearly inevitable for most, especially if Socrates was observing and experiencing the same issues!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 15 months ago

      Many thanks for your support of this post. Glad you found it interesting and useful parenting. Yes, Socrates had a lot to say about raising youth, even back then! Flourish, hang in there. Keep positive and patient; It's hard but in the long run it will prove beneficial.

      God bless each of you.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 15 months ago from USA

      Oh, teenagers. I'm currently working with my daughter to soften comments made during discussion that often come out like accusations. They cut like a razor. She is a very matter-of-fact girl who can hold her own with any boy or adult. Part of that is required because she's in an engineering high school but there's a time and place for everything. Oh, and the sleeping! There's so much sleeping. But she comes by that one honestly. I can sleep anywhere, anytime, even sitting straight up. The photo of the young man and cat is cute.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 21 months ago from Ontario, Canada

      Thanks for writing this. It is really a good guide in handling teen issues. We are seeing this now in the grand children. Funny reading Socrates saying almost the same comments.

    • Kelsey Farrell profile image

      Kelsey Elise Farrell 24 months ago from Orange County, CA

      This is great advice. I'm not a parent, but I do plan on teaching and I have to admit, it's a little daunting to think about. Thanks for sharing!

    • AudreyHowitt profile image

      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Wonderful, wonderful article! Really complete and full of great information

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 2 years ago

      Handyman, glad you found the article interesting. I wish you the best in raising those children. I'm sure they will turn out just fine under your loving care.

    • handymanbill profile image

      Bill 2 years ago from western pennsylvania

      Great article. I have one that is just turning 10, 17 and older children then that. What you say is good advice. I found it interesting how the brain develops. Thanks for the great info.

    • Arachnea profile image

      Tanya Jones 3 years ago from Texas USA

      Including brain development in your discussion of teens is novel, imho. I've not seen it before. Don't get me wrong, I don't have teens. My favorite show is Castle and I always remark on the cast member, Alexis, Castle's daughter. She's not the typical angst ridden teen. I wasn't. To me, to some degree, there's a certain amount of programming that goes into the behaviour we see in teens. Again, my opinion. I like reading the enlightened you shared information above from someone with more experience in this area than I'll have. Great hub.

    • Pawpawwrites profile image

      Jim 3 years ago from Kansas

      I could have used this a few years back. They are all adults now. A few times, I wondered if they had a brain. I found that boundaries, and consistency in enforcing them got us through. Remaining calm during conflicts was the hardest part for me.

      I like your suggestion about letting them help decide what discipline fits the crime.

      We all got through it, and they each became better parents than I was, so maybe I did ok.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Andromida, I so agree that some adults to not realize how teens brains cannot process certain information enough to make a good decision. It's a pity. Yes. the entertainment sector influences our youth, and not always for the best. Thank you for stopping by and for contributing to the content. I hope you are enjoying a wonderful week.

    • andromida profile image

      syras mamun 3 years ago

      I believe that many youngs, not all, seek for their role models in the entermaintent and music industries and it is natural for humans to follow what they see in front of their eyes.We cannot neglect the influence of the medai to mold the brain of young people.You explained it well that an adult brain functions differntly than that of a young one, but the irony is many audlts do not try to realize it or even don't know it.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Stardust, I'm glad the content was useful to you. I too have to focus on staying calm, it's what makes things much more tolerable. Good to have you stop by. Enjoy your week.

      Crystal, you do have your hands full with those tweens! You gotta love them though as they tackle life's difficulties and lean into you when it counts. Hang in there, dear friend.

    • Crystalhubbard profile image

      Crystal Hubbard 3 years ago from Tulsa,Ok

      I can also relate I have a twelve year old daughter and thirteen year old son. Plenty of attitude and rebellion in one house for me Lol.

    • StardustOrdinaire profile image

      Kristi Tipps-Deutsch 3 years ago from Colorado Springs

      I really enjoyed this hub! It reminds me to stay calm. For me that's the number one tool!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      So glad this article was useful to readers. It seems like yesterday we were all passing through this stage of life. Thank you Abbysmom, Vellur, Sherry, Myvenn, and ChitrangadaSharon.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      Great hub, came back to read again. Informative and very useful.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Teenage is the most delicate and perhaps difficult period of growing up. Both parents and teachers must understand the changing behavior of children and handle this phase with patience. Although this phase is beautiful--I really enjoyed my time with my kids. But there are some challenges and many questions.

      You are right, When my children reached that age, it was then, that I realized how difficult my teenage period must have been for my parents and teachers.

      Excellent article and a must read for parents and teachers. Voted up and shared!

    • myvenn profile image

      myvenn 3 years ago from Ghana

      Your hub is very detailed and enlightening. I think it is a must-read for parents raising teenage children.

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 3 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      That's a challenging period in any parents life. Thanks for the detailed explanation of what's going on in their heads.

    • dearabbysmom profile image

      dearabbysmom 3 years ago from Indiana

      Lots of good information here, voted up and useful! It's especially important for people to realize there are actual physical reasons (brain development, etc.) for kids to go through the phases they do. I think it's also important to have empathy...try to remember how we felt as teens when our parents reacted the way they did to specific things. And to remember to have fun! It doesn't have to be a completely serious and anxious time, so really celebrate the humorous moments you share with the kids...those are the times they will look back on fondly.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Misslong, thank you for the support of this topic. I think we all caused some problems for our parents, unfortunately.

    • misslong123 profile image

      Michele Kelsey 3 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

      This was a very informative article. Voted up! I know I gave my parents hell as a teenager. I hope my children don't return the favor! Keep up the great writing. Michele

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Ologsinquito, glad to hear it. Hang in there!

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      Thanks so much. It hasn't been easy, but I think we're over the worst of it, at least with one of them.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Hello Ologsinquito! I think I aged 10 years when my son became a teen. It happens so quickly, indeed! I wish you the best and stay safe out there.

    • ologsinquito profile image

      ologsinquito 3 years ago from USA

      It is much easier raising younger children than an adolescent. I was taken aback when my oldest starting becoming a bit more "difficult" around the age of 12. I didn't think this was going to happen so quickly. By the time she was 13, it was adolescent behavior all the way. This is a great article on brain development, and I'm pinning it to my Things You Really Need to Know board.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      You are very blessed to have a sweet natured child, it is a treasure. It is a time of life that passes too quickly, glad to hear you are both enjoying it, Formosangirl.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      You are very blessed to have a sweet natured child, it is a treasure. It is a time of life that passes too quickly, glad to hear you are both enjoying it.

    • formosangirl profile image

      formosangirl 3 years ago from Los Angeles

      Between having a teenager and a pre-teen verging practically to a teenager, I tend to forget that their brains are growing as well. Fortunately, my younger one is quite sweet for the most part. Very informative hub!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Sherry, glad to hear it helps. You enjoy that grandchild.

      Ubanichijoke, we all had our moments!

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      LOL. I know I did some of what you mentioned above. I know still that this piece will be (if it isn't already) most useful when I become a parent. Good job ma'am.

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 3 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      My kids are grown now, but I have a teen grandchild. I needed a refresher course.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Arunsiv, please excuse my delay in answering your post. I have been away for the holiday. Thank you for your feedback, Arunsiv. May you have a wonderful day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Rebecca, I just caught this notice and am so thankful that you took time to read and comment. I wish your daughter and her girls the best in life. The adolescent years are full of wonderful growing moments for parent and child. Have a wonderful New Year, Rebecca.

    • arunsiv profile image

      Arun Sivaraj 3 years ago from Trivandrum Kerala IN

      Awesome hub!Seems like you have done a detailed research on the topic.Thanks for the great pieces of information mam :)

    • rebeccamealey profile image

      Rebecca Mealey 3 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      My daughter has two adolescent girls coming up. This article is spot on! Very informative and well written. Interesting, awesome and useful.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Rohan,

      I was just talking to a grandmother who stated she didn't understand her 13 year old grandson at times. True, it is a trying time but we all seem to learn and grow through it. Thanks for your reflection and visit. Enjoy your day.

    • rohanfelix profile image

      Rohan Rinaldo Felix 3 years ago from Chennai, India

      Adolescent behaviour is really unpredictable. I know it well because I was one not too long ago! I am only 23 now. Great, informative hub!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      DDE, good to hear how well your parenting paid off. It is a difficult stage for both child and parent but knowing how to approach problems makes it a little better. Enjoy your week!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Understanding Adolescent Behavior very interesting on this topic. So true and and most parents are still having many issues with their teens. I didn't have any problems with my son who is now 20. A helpful hub and is most useful to parenting

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Vinaya, our world has changed so much but let's hope that we can still reach our youth with the values that matter for eternity. Great insight! Blessings, dear friend.

    • Vinaya Ghimire profile image

      Vinaya Ghimire 3 years ago from Nepal

      This is a comprehensive hub on the topic. I remember my teens years, which was entirely different than today. From cell phones and texting to religion and manners, two sets of people, younger and older, find the world different.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Lena, I think you will do fine as you continue to observe behavior and work with your daughter. Be well and enjoy your week.

    • CampbellLena2013 profile image

      Lena Campbell 3 years ago from Maryland

      I have a 8 year old daughter .. Luckily I haven't seen the teen behavior yet but I can see it coming through already so I know I'll have my hands full with her. But I know we will be alright:-) thanks for sharing this hub it will be helpful for me in the near future.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Thank you, Midget, for your support, sharing and review of this article.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 3 years ago from Singapore

      Dianna, great analysis of teen behavior which is useful! I am sharing!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Looks like you did a great job of parenting, Pamela. It is difficult to raise children, especially when they hit the age of identification. However, as you say, when you take the time to work with them and love them -- it pays off. Blessings and thank you for sharing such valuable insight.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 3 years ago from United States

      I am so grateful that my children are grown and I don't have to deal with adolescents anymore, although I have grandchildren in college. Fortunately, they are really good kids and seldom cause any problems in their teen years.

      Your article is excellent and you explained so much about teenagers in detail and I thought the scientific studies were fascinating. This is an awesome hub.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Nell, my home state of Indiana does not grant driver's license until 18 years of age and then they can only have one person with them in the car (an adult). I think it is much safer for them and others. Perhaps it should be a law all over the world! Enjoyed your visit. Stay well and safe.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Thanks for the best wishes, Dr BJ. I voted for your as well, and am so glad that you won the award. Enjoy your week.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Martie, it is amazing at how the brain affects our actions, even as adults we still struggle with making decisions based upon our prior learnings. Thanks for your valuable comment.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Denise, I heard you say you "talked through choices" and that is the best advice any parent can give others. It does give them some feeling of control and helps them to make better choices. Great to see you today Denise!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

      Fascinating reading, and I never knew about how the brain developed in teens, right up until 25? amazing. That made me think of the fact that maybe its right to only allow teens to drive with an adult until they are well into their twenties. Over here that is being looked at, but I am not sure what will come of it, great read, and once again Congrats on the Hubbie award!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 3 years ago from south Florida

      Congratulations, Dianna, on the 2013 Hubbie award for best teacher. You certainly deserve it as your hubs are always excellently written and extremely informative. This one is no exception.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 3 years ago from South Africa

      Very interesting! It is so much easier to understand and handle anything if you know the source. It makes sense that the development of the brain will affect behaviour. Excellent teaches12345 :)

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      As I look back on my children's teen years, I remember feeling many of the emotions listed here. There was fear that my children would become societal misfits, anger that they were challenging my authority, and concern that if they went the way they wanted, they would choose something I could not condone. Fortunately, as I watched them grow and talked through choices with them, more often than not, they choose things that I would have chosen. It gave me increased faith that I had taught them properly, and that they would turn out okay. Now that they are all in their twenties and thirties, they have all come back at some point and thanked me for their upbringing and the love that they felt from me.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Carter06, thanks for the feedback and support. I only hope it makes a difference for some families. Thanks for the follow... Looking forward to your posts.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Denise, thank you for your positive feedback. Thanks for sharing this further. Hope parents get some helpful advice from it.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Marcy, wouldn't it be great if we could all have a do-over? I have apologized to my son over the years whenever I think of things that could have made a difference.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Sholland, You are a very special person to know teens need the respect and care of adults. How fortunate these students are to know you. Hope your day is going well.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Suzette, I would love to know what your research found on the brain. I like your statement on how children are mirror images of adults. Patience is key!

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Skellie, Yes I believe they must be given a chance to defend themselves before being accused. Loving patience is the best approach at all times.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Yes, it is surprising that from an early beginning adolescents were frowned upon. Thanks for your insight on this topic.

    • carter06 profile image

      Mary 3 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      Fantastic informational hub teaches..only wish most parents had access so will tweet & pin & share as much as possible..it's that important!! love your work

      Voted everything:) Cheers

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 3 years ago from North Carolina

      You've really covered this topic with knowledge, research, and sensitivity. Wonderful hub. UP and across...will share.

    • Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

      Marcy Goodfleisch 3 years ago from Planet Earth

      Another really helpful article from you! I wish. I'd had access to this insight when my kids were in that awkward stage. How I'd love to have a do-over opportunity for those years. I also could have used this info during those times when I've done volunteer work with young teens.

    • sholland10 profile image

      Susan Holland 3 years ago from Southwest Missouri

      Interesting! I think parents are capable of helping their child develop a sense of right and wrong, common sense, and problem solving if they are committed to being a good parent. All the advice at the end of your hub is wonderful!

      Working with teens, I can see they are developmentally different than adults, but I can also tell which ones who have developed beyond their peers. I do love the teen years.

      As a mom, I saw the emotional roller coaster. Neither of my children EVER told me they hated me. I had a good bluff in on them since they were babies. Yes, they respected/feared me, but only for bad behavior. The line was drawn and they knew not to cross it. Now, they are great adults. When I compare them to my students, I notice that most kids are the same and know the limits.

      Many people struggle with teens. I don't. I love their ever changing moods. As you indicate at the end of your hub, much of this has to do with how they are raised. Their brain still goes through the development, but it is the guidance they have that helps them.

      Great hub! Great Advice! Votes and shares!!

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 3 years ago from Taos, NM

      This is an excellent and quite an astute article on the adolescent age and brain. My last few years of teaching we were reading the research on adolescent brains and I concur with everything you have written here.

      As a teacher I never got upset over hairstyles or color of hair. Even the all black gothic look never concerned me that much. Teenagers need room to grow, learn, and express themselves and as you say, to forge their own autonomy and personalities different from their parents. Children are little mirrors of their parents, so I think that is parents concern when as teenagers they begin to rebel. I have not had children of my own, so it is easier to look at the situation from the outside. When I taught 8th and 9th graders, I had worried parents ask me what to do. I told them to be patient and work with their child to help them find their own personality and by 10th grade that lovely child would return again. LOL I know it is not that easy, but just some maturity on the child's part helps too. Thanks for sharing your knowledge on this topic with us.

    • skellie profile image

      skellie 3 years ago from Adelaide

      I love this hub :) There were so many emotions flying around the house when my son was a teen. Communication, a calm voice, patience & persistence all hold the key to a wonderful young adult. I also believe you must back your child up. By that I mean, believe that they are telling you the truth unless you can prove otherwise and then do not let them get away with it!. Consequences are very important. Your teen also needs to believe you have faith in them.

      Thanks - I hit the up button

    • AliciaC profile image

      Linda Crampton 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is a very interesting look at brain development in teenagers, Dianna. I loved the opening quote, too. I was surprised when I came to the end and discovered that it was written by Socrates instead of someone in our time!

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Hey, Faith! I pray it helps many parents to raise their children with great standards. Thanks for the visit. God bless you.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Lyric, Thanks for the wonderful support. Times does fly doesn't it? It seems mine was just ten yesterday. Keeping calm is so key! Blessings, dear friend.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Genna, thank you for your kind words. It seems that you did very well with that mindset in raising your son. Blessings.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Thanks for the support, Bill. Raising children is difficult in today's world and hopefully this will help someone. Keep safe and well.

    • teaches12345 profile image
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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Whonu, breathing room is right - for both sides. Enjoy your day.

    • teaches12345 profile image
      Author

      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      I love learning as well, Carol. Thank you for the comment and enjoy your weekend.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Excellent hub here, full of insightful information! Yes, we survived our children's teenagers' years : ) Must pass this one to my son, for when his become teens. I always thought it was like a child turning into a young adult, and their brains just really do not know how to process such. Just like when an infant becomes a toddler and all that entails.

      Thank you for sharing your insight here. Up and more and sharing

      Blessings, Faith Reaper

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 3 years ago from West Virginia

      Teaches, voted up, useful, awesome, interesting, and shared per Facebook. Always a great resource for parents and learning. Amazing article with great detail and help Teaches. Mine are 8 and 5 now, time surely goes by fast. All your articles are very beneficial. I always try to think back when I was that age, how would I feel? When mistakes are made, learn from them. Being calm is crucial, so crucial. Great article Teaches, another to the collection.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      First of all, congratulations on receiving the richly deserved 2013 Hubbie Award! :-)

      The teen years can be so difficult to navigate. When our son was growing through this period, the first thing his father and I tried to keep in mind is that we were teenagers once, too.

      “Remaining calm during discussions, remaining open-minded and offering a listening ear before making a statement gives a child respect and allows him or her to see a parent as caring and warm.” This is so true! We tried to provide him with the opportunity to participate in “positive experiences in group situations,’ and this worked quite well.

      Thank you for this very interesting hub. Voted up and shared.

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      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I honestly didn't know how to vote in the poll. I know this is a very important article and I wish about 100 million parents would read it. As a teacher I was fully aware of these things; as a parent, being aware and being understanding and patient are another matter altogether. :) Thanks for the illumination and reminder, Dianna. Well done! Have a great weekend.

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      whonunuwho 3 years ago from United States

      The adolescent brain is developing and it is up to us to set good examples and give each child a little breathing room, too. Thanks for this well written work. whonu

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      carol stanley 3 years ago from Arizona

      This was certainly interesting..Well researched and great job..I love learning new things.

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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Cfin, you share some valid points. Parents need to be open minded during this stage if life. As you say, they respond to us when we treat them fairly and honestly. Enjoy your day.

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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      Thank you, Mhatter, Jainismus, Mary, Vellur, Bobbi, Linda. Glad to hear we survived these early years as kids and parents. Mary, go with the flow - it's transitional and will probably change over time. When he starts to look like Duck Dynasty, put him on the show! Linda, I love grandparenting better! :). Bobbi, seems your mom was strict but she may have known something. I laugh at your response to her- very convincing!

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      cfin 3 years ago from The World we live in

      I think without a rebellious phase I would be worried about my daughter. It shows that they are growing up and want "out" of your rules. You should be proud of them for that. Too many parents smother their kids and break their spirit. Its not healthy. I think the problems lie with the parents and their lack of ability to let go and aid in their teenagers growth.

      My wife, for example, is still struggling with a mother who just won't let go even though my wife tries to help her mom with it. When she was a teen, her mom was never there for her, was smothering and fake with over concern for any signs of rebellion. My wife in turn, had a bad relationship with her mother at the time, because her mother just wouldn't allow her to grow up.

      I think the key is look at it from the young adults perspective, support their growth, and steer them, without them knowing, into good ventures. Have respect, ad those chemicals in their brain will respond positively.

      It would also help to have this option in your poll ie. "be supportive and help them grow into the adults they deserve to be rather than smothering them and making it about you."

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      Nithya Venkat 3 years ago from Dubai

      A great article, informative and useful for parents. Thank you for sharing this hub, with valuable information about adolescent behavior. Voted up, interesting and useful.

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      purvisbobbie44 3 years ago

      Hi,

      After I read this I thought of my sweet parents and what they went through with me---and I pray I was not so bad.

      My mother was very strict and I can remember saying, :My friends are all going to the beach for the weekend--why can't I go? My big word was WHY, and my mother would reply because I love you. And I would ask if she could hate me a little so I could go more.

      You are always on the mark with all you write---I am one of your best fans. Have a great weekend.

      Bobbi Purvis

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      Mary Hyatt 3 years ago from Florida

      What an indepth Hub! You spent a lot of time on this one, and it shows. I raised four (don't know now how I did it) that turned out very well. My 18 yr. old son just refuses to shave, and that bothers me. Seems the other guys are not shaving either.

      Voted this UP and will share.

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      Linda Bilyeu 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Way to go Teach! This article is a loaded with useful information to help parents and our youth. I'm so glad I didn't have issues with my daughters, they made parenting easy. And as you & I know grand parenting is twice as fun:)

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 3 years ago from Pune, India

      You have a done a great analysis of this problem. The advice is helpful. Thanks for sharing.

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      Martin Kloess 3 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this.I was a very fortunate parent. My son was a dream child. And he loved and influenced his little sister.

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      Dianna Mendez 3 years ago

      I am chuckling, Jackie. I remember the days. I turned gray overnight! Take care and enjoy the weekend. Blessings, dear friend.

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Some great advice. Glad I have it over with!