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Your Family Isn't about Blood, but Love

Updated on March 31, 2017

What is a Family?

When you say the word family, what comes to mind?

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." - Jane Howard

"It is not flesh and blood, but heart that makes us fathers and sons."- Johann Schiller

I think families are also made up of the people you love... and that makes for some interesting combinations.

Take for instance, the true story of the Academy Award winning movie: "The Blind Side". It is a wonderful story worth watching. It illustrates how families happen outside of the realm of DNA. The feelings evoked by that movie remind me of what my extended family is composed of. Truly beautiful people.

artwork copyright by Scribenet@HubPages
artwork copyright by Scribenet@HubPages

The People I Love

I lost my husband 15 years ago and in the years that followed; contact with my stepson, who lived with us from the age of 9. To my great joy we have found each other and discovered how very much we are family. It truly feels like no time had passed. He regards me as his mother, a role I cherish having never had children of my own. I am so grateful we connected.

My family bonding began with a wonderful adoptive family that is now almost entirely in Finland, My fondest memories are of Mummu (grandmother) who loved me as her own grandchild and made my world what it is today. Grandmother took care of me and a cousin (we are born two weeks apart) while our parents worked. Though we didn't look alike our close age made us look like twins. so I suppose we were close, my "first" friend and sister! Mummu loved us both.

When my parents immigrated, so the story goes, Mummu missed me so much that when a second daughter was born to my aunt, she was named after me. What a loving gesture from my family.

It would be decades before I was re-united with my grandmother and what was wonderful was the instant bond we shared. I wish a loving grandmother for every child! This was a person I had a palpable feeling for from the moment I set eyes on her. She was my family!

I had the opportunity to visit her in Finland many years later and meet the entire clan and once again the palpable feeling of belonging washed over me. I met my namesake and the twin sister of my infancy and together we felt like a sisterhood. That was 25 years ago and the feeling is still as strong even though I lost the grandmother and eventually aunt and mother.

The sisters (cousins) are still very much my family. Long periods happen when we don't contact each other, but the bond is instantaneously reaffirmed each time we talk or communicate. After all we shared a grandmother and the same family and know each other's life stories.

My family also consists of friends that knew me at various stages of life. We have seen each other through life events and have been there to cheer each other or offer a comforting sounding board. We live our own lives, but share in a way that is indicative of a family. It isn't just a casual interest or a conditional one. The friendship is as a family. We are there for each other and our relationship is an unconditional one.

As time wears on, every once in awhile a new friend becomes a part of my family. It can't be determined at first sight who it will be, it just evolves naturally. There just is that affinity and genuine "like" for each other and again, it does not depend on being in constant touch! Just like family, miles and weeks can separate us, yet when we make contact it is "heartwarming".

This story doesn't end here.

Having been widowed and suffering the loss of a huge part of my life when my late husband passed away, I have been fortunate to connect with a soul mate who brings his family into my life. I look forward to this whole new branch of family to call my own as time goes on!

I adore the idea of the big Italian families with huge interconnected families. Since I wasn't gifted with a huge "natural" family, I am blessed to have "my own unique family" made up of all the people I love..

I recommend watching the movie: "The Blind Side!"


Submit a Comment

  • Scribenet profile image

    Scribenet 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    Thanks Gary. Sometimes the best families are chosen! Thank you for your kind comments and rainbow-coloured beacons of light and Peace...positive thoughts always appreciated! Your Hub, The Wreck, was compelling. Cheers... Maggie

  • qlcoach profile image

    Gary Eby 6 years ago from Cave Junction, Oregon

    Yes to the power of Love that brings special relationships in our lives. My wife and I blended two families when we married. It's been a blessing for all of us. Thank you so much for commenting on my Hub, The Wreck. Sending you beacons of rainbow-colored Light. Peace....Gary.

  • Scribenet profile image

    Scribenet 6 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    vox vocis, thank you.

    There is so much negativity and hatred in the world and so many people feel marginalized unecessarily, when in fact there are people who do care...they never get the publicity.

    If we all shared our stories of the "good" perhaps we can all start feeling better...because despite the "bad news" there is much beauty and love in this ole world.

    I appreciate your kind comments! Thank you for stopping by!

  • vox vocis profile image

    Jasmine 6 years ago

    A beautiful hub :) I absolutely found myself in it and agree with all that you've said. This kind of experience and the message sent definitely deserves a share :)

  • Scribenet profile image

    Scribenet 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

    breakfastpop Thank you for your comments. Friends are indeed wonderful. They are the family you choose.

    P.S. I enjoy your Hubs... entertaining and interesting commentary and good recipes to boot!

  • breakfastpop profile image

    breakfastpop 7 years ago

    Lovely hub. Family to me is anyone you love. My dear friends are my family and I am very grateful for their presence in my life.