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The Brown Eyed Girl, Hope

Updated on July 2, 2009

To Hope, with Love

As I write about our short acquaintance, I almost shutter at the thought of reliving a nightmare through your eyes. When those big, brown, pondering eyes looked at me I felt your intense pain, your anxiety and I longed to inhale your breath until you were bound no more. I don't know where you are, how you are doing but know, that not a day has passed that I didn't say a prayer. You have followed me for twelve years, I could never shake your presence for the words you spoke to me as a child, will forever remain with me for the rest of my life.

The Lady at the Fence

Oaklahoma, 1995

The April 1995 Oaklahoma bombing was something I had just heard on the news. Living in North Carolina you only seen what the media fed you 24 hours a day. It was by mere conicidence that I ended up there, walking down the sidewalk with a 10 foot fence that seem to go on forever. Few things stuck in my mind for I was beside myself with unbelievable grief and the only thing I could whisper was Why?

That question is yet to be answered and probably never will be. It was that day, that moment that the innocence of a child made me realize that all things are possible. No matter what life hands you, embrace it, and be its ruler. Never let life rule you.

 

Mommy said......

As I stood in a surreal state of mind looking at the objects of love and pain that were methodically placed on the fence, I noticed there were hundreds of WWJD bracelets everywhere. It was as if every child or teen that had walked around this fence had taken off their bracelets and attached it to the fence showing, not caring what anybody thought. As unthoughtful kids can be it was overwhelming. My daughters were close by and as I turned to them, they too were removing their bracelets. Just as the first tear began to roll down my face I turned away and saw a little girl that would change my way of thinking for years to come.

She bluntly said, "My name is Hope, but mommy can't call me that anymore so I go by Shung Li." Hope was a beautiful Asian girl with long black messy hair with eyes that would allow you to see her inner soul with a stained tear below her left eye. I stared at her for what seems like hours and then I asked, "Where are your parents"? She looked at me like she was waiting on someone to ask her that question. She held her head up, her small, bony shoulders back and said, " My new daddy and my real little brother died here, my new mommy is over there". She pointed to a beautiful, tall, slim, woman who was down on her knees in front of a shrine. She was sobbing and rocking, like a baby herself, lost in her grief. "Is she O.K. I asked"? "We come here a lot, mommy cries and tells me she is praying for Hope." I was beginning to wonder if it was one of those times where you have to make a decision, that's when the Security Guard came over and explained. Hope was the adopted daughter of the lady that was crying at the fence. They had become two of the many that returned everyday to try to understand or connect with the loved ones they had lost. Her husband and small son. They were in the building when the bomb exploded. Hope was named Hope because she was the child her mother had so wanted but couldn't naturally have. After the adoption was complete she had changed to name to Hope. Since her husbands and new sons death she had lost her  hope and couldn't bring herself to call her by that name. Hope told me quickly as she was walking away holding tightly to the guards hand, "Mommy said it stood for "What Will Jesus Do".

Her image was burned into my eyelids....

The security Guard then took Hope to her mother, she was known for talking to anyone she could find drung their visit and he had started to watch out for her. Life for me appeared to go back to normal. Very often and quite frequently I have thought of her more, wondering where she is, what has become of her. My only comfort is that knowing when her mother named her Hope, it was not for what she had given her when she became her daughter, it was what that held her together after.

Comments

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    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      you are right Pete, unfortunaley I don't see an end very soon.

      dori

    • Pete Maida profile image

      Pete Maida 

      9 years ago

      It is so painful and it happens every time. One of these crazy characters thinks they are striking a blow for one cause or another destroys not only the lives that are lost but the lives of their loved ones. We can only hope that someday we'll see the last of it.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      On my way back there.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      huhhhhhhhh, you need to go behind the bleachers.

      dori

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      sorry but for now it's gone...

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      whoa. need a rolled cigarette after that one. Damn GT dont take it down. That was good. Glad everything turned out ok. I am speechless again.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      go for it, lets see if you can draw some...

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      if its tears you want... I will post one more, for a couple of minutes.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      GT why did you do that? I went to read it again and poof be gone.

      I am crying real tears here.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks Chris, it was unforgettable.

      dori

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      This was a haunting work. I understand exacly the feeling you must have had, though I don't think I have ever experienced it in quite that way. Thanks for this.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      The one where she is taking applications for dudes, its hilarious, can't wait to see your comment

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I don't know if I've read it, I can't keep up during the rush. which one?

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      i will be waiting, have you read Cindyvines most recent hub? It is hilarious!

      I want to read your comment so I can roflmao

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      enough in stock, and some new ones I won't release during the challenge.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      well if you feel froggy you jump forward!

      All of them are great and you have to know that. You probably have more too don't ya?

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      I want them to be free to think what they want when they find it. I will never know good or bad in most cases. I have to move forward regardless.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      only some local folk, the outer google world knows nothing of me.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      and you're great for traffic too.

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 

      9 years ago from Free and running....

      okay, as I am listening to freebird that one got to me.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks james, I wonder what she would think if she even knew I was writing about it. I just hope she didn't end up back in China, her situation was bad there as well. It is wierd how meeting someone for 5 minutes can literally change your outlook on life, in general.

      dori

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 

      9 years ago from Chicago

      There are some people we only meet for a moment but we never forget them. This is quite a story and I will never forget it. Well done.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      9 years ago

      Very touching story...hope Hope and her mother found a happier future together.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thank you, I am glad you like it, like I said before, it is sad but true. There was a reason for that chance meeting. I hope she is doing well.

      dori

    • profile image

      nazishnasim 

      9 years ago

      That was a heart-wrenching story. Thnks for sharing. And I'd agree with others above - you write quite well! :)

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks!! and back at ya!~

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      9 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Dori - we're in this together my friend! You write it, I'll read it!!

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thank you Candie, your comments mean alot to me.

      dori

    • Candie V profile image

      Candie V 

      9 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

      Fortunerep, this is a great hub about a very sad and scary event. To be there, to feel the pain is something most of us don't get to do. I'm glad you did. You are forever changed.

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Thanks BC I am flattered,

      Thanks Aevans, I don't know what happened to her but I cerainly will never forget her, she had one of those looks that you can't erase from your mind.

      Peace

      dori

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 

      9 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      That certainly is a touching story and I have a new found meaning for the word "Hope". It is heartbreaking and you told it well. I wonder whatever happened to the little girl.:)

    • fortunerep profile imageAUTHOR

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      thankyou Shamelabboush, it is sad, sad but true.

      dori

    • shamelabboush profile image

      shamelabboush 

      9 years ago

      This is so sad and your narration style is great.

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