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What can we do, as a society, to prevent children becoming victims of divorce

Updated on February 25, 2009

When I look at the piles of garbage we throw away each day, waiting for the garbage collectors to come and pick it up, I realise what a throw-away society we live in.  Everything is replacable.  If the TV breaks, we dump it and buy a new one.  When the xbox packed up, we replaced it with an xbox 360.  After we buy something, there is always a newer and better model that comes out that we hanker for.  Nothing is permanent anymore, and this has definitely filtered through into family relationships.

There is no more 'until death do us part' like in the old days.  Now, at the first sign of hardship, marriages and relationships end.  In this current global crisis, when money is tight, then love goes out the window.  No more do we face uncertain times together, no more do families stand united.  If it doesn't work, throw it away, don't bother to fix it.  We do the same with reationships.  People don't work at marriages anymore.  And, the biggest victims of our new 'throw-away society' approach, are the children.  The innocent children who never asked to be born.  Products of a night of passion.  Pawns being tossed off the chessboard in a marital battleground.

Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix for this problem.  There is not much that society can do to stop it, because society is the problem.  The break down of the old traditional family values, the aversion many of our youth now have to marriage because of what they have witnessed growing up, the propensity of junk food which has replaced the old sit-down family dinners, the ease of replacing things which are broken, all have contributed to the breakdown of the family unit.  In the old days, if you wanted children, you got married.  Nowadays, children are no longer synonomous with marriage.  The result of this, is that people are no longer as committed to each other as they once were in the 'till death do us part' days.  You can walk out at any time, especially if you are not tied to the relationship with some kind of nuptial contract.  Parents fight over children.  Look at the whole Britney-debacle and the break-ups of some of the other famous celebs and child custody battles.  Children are the ones that suffer.  They observe that if you have a disagreement, you leave and don't try to fix it.  They become spoilt and over-indulged by parents vying for their love and favouritism, and also parents trying to hide their guilt at robbing their children of both parents.  Children develop problems with behavior, attention-seeking as they look for consistency in their families.  However, having said all that, if a child is exposed to an abusive marriage or relationship, then it is best for them to get as far away from that setting as possible, as it has been proven that there is a cycle of abuse.  Many children who are abused, become abusers themselves.

At the end of the day, there is really nothing society can do or say to stop families and marriages from becoming obsolete.  People will do what they want and what is best or easiest for them.  Although, it is said that when family units break up then that signals the end of a civilization.  Maybe, we are already in a new civilization - the technology-crazy throw- away society civilization.


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    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Ah, I remember having to read Alvin Toffler's ZFuture Shock in my graduation year at high school to prepare us for the world! My 1 month old dvd player packed up on Monday and guest what, I'm just going to throw it away and buy another cheap and nasty Chinese made one today. This is what we do when our relationships don't work, just throw them away. Thanks for commenting.

    • franciaonline profile image

      franciaonline 8 years ago from Philippines

      Hi cindyvine,

      You mentioned the "throw away society" having spilled over people's view of things. You're right. Great hub!

      In 1970, Alvin Toffler's book "Future Shock" was a bestseller. He sounded like you when he wrote that book. In fact his next book "The Third Wave" which was also a bestseller talked of a similar theme. I've read "Future Shock" and even as Toffler was still talking of the future, in 1970 the realities mentioned in the book were already prevailing. I fretted over the coming ills. And here we are now experiencing those ills. We have to double our efforts in working for change with the old motto: Think globally and act locally."

    • guidebaba profile image

      guidebaba 8 years ago from India

      Hello Mam : You are definitely writing on some serious issues. Keep up the good work.

    • Affordable-Affili profile image

      Affordable-Affili 8 years ago from Singapore

      Alot of times, children are being influenced by parents behaviour. It may be tough for parents to avoid argument in front of children. Sometimes, in fact alot of times, it has got to do each other being able to give and take.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town


    • Lgali profile image

      Lgali 8 years ago

      very nice hub