ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What to Do When Your 18 Year Old Daughter Announces Her Second Pregnancy

Updated on February 25, 2009

When your daughter comes to you and tells you that she is pregnant, especially if just a teenager, you need to be there to offer understanding and guidance.  She needs your support in every way possible.  If she comes back to you and announces she is pregnant again, at the age of 18, you still need to offer her your support.  However, you may want to look at your responsibilities towards your daughter.  There are some questions you may want to ask yourself.

Where you giving your daughter a free ride at home?

Most 18 year olds are not ready to move out and support themselves, much less a baby, so it is wonderful to have your child and grandchildren in your home, but it should not be free.  It is not unreasonable to charge a token amount of rent.  Or instead of rent, your daughter needs to take on extra responsibilities around the house.  Your daughter should be preparing at least 1/3 of all the meals.  She should be helping in doing other maintenance work around the house, such as pruning the trees, painting the house, refinishing the deck.  These are the responsibilities of adults. 

Where you taking too much responsibility for your daughter’s first child?

Yes, you still want your daughter to have her own childhood, but it should be tempered with her new responsibilities.  You should not be the one taking care of your daughter’s children, except in a way that helps your daughter better their lives.  It is one thing to offer childcare so that your daughter can go to school or work so that she can have a higher standard of living and stay off of government assistance.  It is quite another to allow your daughter the full care-free life of a teenager by allowing her to skip out on waking up every three hours to feed the baby, giving the baby it’s baths, or taking her child to doctor’s appointments.   She made choices of action and must deal with each choice’s consequences.  That is a fact of life for all children from the earliest age.   

Have you discussed sexual choices and pregnancy prevention?

Your daughter most likely knows and understands the birds and the bees, but does she understand the moral consequences of her actions? It’s not just having and caring for a child, but making sure that her child have what they need later in life. The limitations she is putting on herself. The example she is setting. Does she wish for her children to struggle in the same way? Does she know the various forms of birth control available to her? If the pill is too difficult to remember to take at the exact same time every day, has she considered a long-term birth control option such as the NuvaRing (once monthly), Depo-Provera shots (once every four months), or an IUD (once every five years)? Although, continue to stress the importance of condom use too.

At this point, you need to sit back with your daughter and discuss all her options.  If she chooses to have the baby, she does not need to raise the child; she could opt for giving the baby up for adoption.  She could choose a closed, semi-open or fully open adoption.  It is a valid choice.  Sometimes it takes more love to entrust another loving family to raise your child than trying to do it yourself when you are not ready and overwhelmed.

If your daughter does decide to keep the baby, you need to set the ground rules of what you expect:

  • Your daughter must be gaining an education
  • Your daughter must have some type of job: Welcome to adulthood!
  • Your daughter must be doing the majority of childcare
  • Your daughter must get on a more reliable form of birth control after the birth

Take the answers you gave yourself to the above questions and use that as a starting point to determine the details.

If you decide to cut your daughter off completely, give her time to get her stuff together.  Tell her sooner rather than later.  Do not do it in anger.  It takes time to find a place to live and childcare. You do not want your grandchildren to suffer for the mistakes of their mother.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      Wonderful advice! I have my 19 year old living with me. She does all the housework, takes care of the dog, makes sure my son goes to school and numerous other things for me. (No children, thank goodness!)

      Things can work, but responsiblity needs to be shared.

    • LondonGirl profile image


      9 years ago from London

      getting pregnant twice by the age of 18 would definitely be taking the mickey, I reckon!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)